ARmy Rumour SErvice

I'm a lifelong chelsea boy, but this ManU about Ji-Sung Park one made me laugh, to the tune of Lord of the dance:

'Park, Park, whoever you may be
They eat dogs in your own country
But it could be worse, you could be scouse,
eating rats with Wayne rooney in a council house...'

Some of the Chelsea anti-Tottenham songs are hysterical or worryingly anti-semitic depending on how you see things(to the the tune of jingle bells):

'Riding round Tottenham in a Black mercedes benz, gassing all the jews, hitlers back again, oh jingle bells, jingle bells, the fuhrers back in town, oh what fun it is to gas the yids of white hart lane...'

By United fans to Liverpool [to the tune of 'You'll never walk alone']

You'll never get a job,
sign on, sign on sign on,
with all hope in your heart
You'll never get a job, ull never get a job,
sign on, sign on ,
with hope in ur heart ull never get a job
sign on sign on

etc.

utd to Peter Crouch / Liverpool fans

does the circus know your here.
does the circus, does the circus, does
the circus know your here.......
(repeat numerous times)

utd fans to Gerrard [to the tune of the okey cokey]

you put your transfer in,
your transfer out,
in,out,in,out
you shake it all about,
you do a steven gerrard and you f*ck about,
thats what is all about,
Whooaoooaoaooahhhh,scouse
b*st*rd,Whoooaooaoaoaoaoaoahhhh,scouse
b*st*rd,Whhhhhhhhhoaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaaah
scouse b*st*rd,in,out,in,out you fcuk-em all about

Chelsea to Liverpool: 'In your Liverpool slums, in your Liverpool slums, you look in the dustbin for something to eat, find a dead cat and you think its a treat, in your Liverpool slums...'

My first time in the Stretford end, 1975, when Terry Yorath jogged on to the pitch. (Think he was Middlesborough then)

To the tune of Hello mudda, hello fadda (fuck me! it's an age thing)

Terry Yorath, Terry Yorath
Terry Yorath, Terry Yorath
Terry Yorath, is a quee..er, he has got the stiffest penis in the rear

Oh how I cried and oozed into me y-fronts!!

Wot d'you reckon Gab(b)y?

Originally Posted by Bradstyley

I'm a lifelong chelsea boy, but this ManU about Ji-Sung Park one made me laugh, to the tune of Lord of the dance:

'Park, Park, whoever you may be
They eat dogs in your own country
But it could be worse, you could be scouse,
eating rats with Wayne rooney in a council house...'
'

Modified when Mourinho got done for a spot of illegal dog immigration..

Jo-se wherever you may be
Your dog's here ill-eg-ally
we heard you moan
we heard him bark
He's now being eaten by Ji Sung Park.

Sang to Newcastle fans by 'Boro during the UEFA cup run (Thurs night 8pm)

"Geordies at home, watching the bill" , repeat ad nauseum

also, back in the good old days sang to Gazza

"He fat , he's round he bounces off the ground
Paul Gascgoine, Paul Gascgoine"

Followed by throwing off mars bars as he took a corner, cheeky tw"t picked em up in his shirt at half time!!

Originally Posted by forniup

Sung to Boro fans in the 90's. "Whats it like to shag your kids"

"Who's at home. who's at home, who's at home minding the kids...

From Newcastle, back in the Kegan days (the original ones)

To the tune of Lola...

"We've got the worlds most fanatical fans
and we've got big Les Ferdinand and Ginola
Gin-oh-oh-oh-oh-ola"

And when Danni Behr made her first appearacne in the Directors box to watch her man play...

"He's here, he's there, he's shagging Danni Behr Ferdinand... Ferdinand

Lee Bowyer?

"Oh Lee.. Lee Bowyer.. I wanna know whoa whoa
why you're not in jail"

And common to all grounds I suspect, the half time announcement "Would Mr. John Smith from Fenham go immediately to the General Hospital where your wife has given birth to a healthy baby boy"

50,000 people chanting "Selfish bitch, selfish bitch"

Originally Posted by engr172

The timeless "Kopites are gobsh1tes"
Cracks me up every time :D

Rapier-like wit.