Thread: Help! Its bloody Valentines again

Ok, I am probably the least mushy and romantic person on the planet. But I do try and every year I have to go through the same shite, buy flowers and a card. and she looks unimpressed.

Can any of you ARRSE ladies suggest a wonderful Valentines day present for the Missus, so that she will be elated and let me do her up the bottom.

The odd thing is she will allow sodomy during the rest of the year, all I have to do is threaten her with a good kicking. Just goes to show that you have to be cruel to be kind.

But in the spirit of romance I shall try to bum her using nice means rather than boots combat high.

Over to you ladies.

P.S. She dont like chocolate

I'm no lady but will advise. Buy a Nurse's outfit.
Then if she hits you she can heal you.

buy her a 15inch dildo..then let her ram your ricker with it :D

I hate valentines day load of cack

Give her a divorce....................





Unless you weren't planning on spending that much!

Buy her a pair of slippers, and a dildo. If she doesn't like the slippers then she can go and fcuk herslef ;)

Tish Tish Boom...and arrrr thankyow!

Originally Posted by blindfire

I hate valentines day load of cack

Just because you never get a card...

Originally Posted by director_of_diplomacy

Give her a divorce....................





Unless you weren't planning on spending that much!

Should have mentioned that I dont intend spending that much

Originally Posted by blindfire

buy her a 15inch dildo..then let her ram your ricker with it :D

I hate valentines day load of cack

Out of the question, I am not an RAF gayist

what about perfume? Or underwear?

If she doesn't like any of those things either then seriously, tell her to get fcuked the ungrateful wench

Originally Posted by smudge67

Buy her a pair of slippers, and a dildo. If she doesn't like the slippers then she can go and fcuk herslef ;)

Tish Tish Boom...and arrrr thankyow!

Yes and i bet she does a better job of it to

Originally Posted by Rumours-My-Arrse

Originally Posted by blindfire

I hate valentines day load of cack

Just because you never get a card...

truth always hurts

Originally Posted by blindfire

Originally Posted by Rumours-My-Arrse

Originally Posted by blindfire

I hate valentines day load of cack

Just because you never get a card...

truth always hurts

Don't worry Blidfire, if I remember I'll send you a valentines PM.

Originally Posted by Moodybitch

what about perfume? Or underwear?

If she doesn't like any of those things either then seriously, tell her to get fcuked the ungrateful wench

Good plan but she is a fussy sod and I am bound to get the wrong ones, she werent too keen on the red leather crotchless effort last year, and she has shatloads of perfume already

buy her a pet, then have a roast twoweeks later,and comment on the tenderness and freshness of the meat you're having.

Originally Posted by taboo

Originally Posted by smudge67

Buy her a pair of slippers, and a dildo. If she doesn't like the slippers then she can go and fcuk herslef ;)

Tish Tish Boom...and arrrr thankyow!

Yes and i bet she does a better job of it to

Probably, but I cum, therefore I'm great!