I play with the company and yeah, its just w@nk. whats most annoying is how complicated they have to make it. Instead of saying "hit the white thing with the stick thing and get it in the hole" they bring in loads of different ways to score the game and then bore you with 'tactical' assistance on every hole. Golf is a social disease. Like the clap.

As someone once said golf is a good way of ruining a good walk!

Ive just remembered a Jackass sketch about golf. That's a bit more like it, but thats arrsery on a golf course, not golf.

And I think me and a mate once nicked one of the gay golf car thingys from the Belfry after a Rugby match nearby (Birmingham Welsh?) and drove it home. About 8 miles.

I might be mellowing on the subject. Wait, no I'm not. It's beef and needs to be destroyed. I'm putting the G1 Planning Team together, some one wake up Moody and MDN...

Im a feckin idiot. Ill get my coat....

I love golf. Seriously! All the officers in my branch play it. When they all go off for a game I can bugger off home early!

Originally Posted by blackrat_scaleyback

Holidays are for going mental and getting caught s*agging by the swimming pool with the missus, not trying to get a ball in the hole. Hang on....

You have never been on a golf holiday then - Turkey 7 nights, all the food and drink you can take onboard and 6 rounds to sober up during the day - all for under £600 and the food gestapo can redecorate the front room while your away.

Ok, back on thread:

1. Why is it addictive? Noone seems to "want" to start playing it, they all claim to have "got addicted" after a mate introduced them to it. Sounds dodgy to me...

2. Why do they all dress in such stupid clothes? Why not in beach volleyball rig or leathers?

3. Why would you go on a "holiday" to play it rather than tinker with your maiden? Or better still, sell the clubs (very expensive bit of kit and definately NOT gucci) and take the chick away for some undisturbed and borderline-unusal "swing practice"?

I have a theory...

"What is your theory, 556s?" I hear you say...

"Golf" is actually "Cottageing" (sp?), here's why:
No self-respecting man "wants" to start doing it, but quite a few are curious.
A "friend" always gets you started, then you just can't stop yourself.
Special "Clubs" exist, with exclusive membership.
Special "Holidays" are taken (sans Frau) so you can "play" for a week undisturbed.
Special baggy clothes must be worn and a bag "caddied" containing the equipment used (a bag that looks very much like it would nicely hols a small boy)

Defend yourselves, "Golfers" (Im bored at work)

Golf is for the sort of gayers who like other men's watches.

I play golf, But on the Wii, in the living room with the curtains drawn, Where its dry, warm and free of ridicule and nasty trousers

Like I said, Cpl R:

Camp as a row of pink tents.

No wonder you keep the curtains drawn.

I never played golf sober so I haven't got a clue what the deal is outside the context of a drinking game.