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  1. 09-08-2007, 16:06 #1
    taffridge
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    Biily Connolly on the Glasgow attacks

    Billy Connolly's take on the terrorists hitting Glasgow...

    "Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could
    depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would
    always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore
    b0llocks...

    I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
    it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
    should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...

    I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
    Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
    Football Team for Christ's sake... I think that we should give Partick
    Thistle to al-Qaeda. If only for the joy of hearing them read out their
    team sheet on Saturday...

    The Sun last week urged us all to respond to the attack by flying the
    Union Jack. Really, in Glasgow that's never been a great way of getting
    your insurance premiums down...

    If we play this whole terrorism thing right, we could get al-Qaeda to
    blow up some of Scotland's eyesores. I think we should definitely start
    putting signs up round Shettleston's high flats that say 'Financial
    Quarter'...

    For a while, confusion reigned at Glasgow airport. Was it a terrorist
    attack or just Richard Hammond turning up late for check-in?

    People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container. I say
    it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the whole
    place would have gone up like Hiroshima...

    The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from being
    hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain!
    They'll come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip
    of a volcano!"
    LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS!
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  2. 09-08-2007, 16:12 #2
    TankiesYank
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    Re: Biily Connolly on the Glasgow attacks

    Quote Originally Posted by taffridge

    I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
    it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
    should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...

    I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
    Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
    Football Team
    This was actually from the far funnier Frankie Boyle on Mock the Week a couple of weeks ago. I remember because we saw it and laughed until we dry-heaved.

    Spotterific!
    Patriotism is proud of a country's virtues and eager to correct its deficiencies; it also acknowledges the legitimate patriotism of other countries, with their own specific virtues. The pride of nationalism, however, trumpets its country's virtues and denies its deficiencies, while it is contemptuous toward the virtues of other countries. It wants to be, and proclaims itself to be, "the greatest," but greatness is not required of a country; only goodness is. (Sydney J. Harris)

    "Not everyone who goes to bullfights is cheering for the matador." (or something like that, CC_TA)
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  3. 09-08-2007, 17:03 #3
    perry07
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    Re: Biily Connolly on the Glasgow attacks

    haha, good old connolly
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