Thread: Police priorities

Today for the first time in years I had to report a crime to the police.
Situation: I parked my car in a wooded area on the Devon/Cornwall border and took my 2 dogs for a walk. I returned and found the rear window smashed and a Laptop was missing from the back.
I was duly put through to the "farce incident centre" and agreed to give a verbal statement.
Question 1: How would you describe your ethnic appearance.
Question 2: Have you been a victim of crime in the last 12 months.
Question 3. Have you had occasion to report and incident to the police in the last 12 months.
Forgive me if I'm missing something here but what the Fukc has this got to do with any potential enquiry.
Comments/answers anyone?
Incidentally I hope the scrotes who took the laptop try to sell it on the black market, It doesn't work and I only had it because it was BER.
TB

Answer 1: My ethnic appearance is irrelevant copper, come daaan 'ere and do ya facking job, 'cos I'm paying your facking taxes knobber.

Answer 2: No cnut, I aint been a victim of facking crime in the last 12 months, I 'ave been me very own facking crime wave, but ya ain't caught me avyer? That's 'cos you ask these stupid facking questions!

Answer 3: No I facking aint rozzer, nah are youse camming daaan 'ere oremaye gunna have ta find the facking scrote meself?

Facking wasting mah facking time callin youse cants innit! Facking sort it aat meself with de boys, vat's wot I'm gunn afacking do. Nah don't you tell me not ta take the facking law inta meown 'ands pig, 'cos if youse cants woz any good at yer facking jobs ah woudn'avta nah would I? CANTS!!!

Click

Originally Posted by Tytus_Barnowl

Question 1: How would you describe your ethnic appearance.

RED with fcuking rage.

Question 2: Have you been a victim of crime in the last 12 months.

YES 10 minutes ago some scote smashed my window and stole my laptop.

Question 3. Have you had occasion to report and incident to the police in the last 12 months.

YES because 10 minutes ago some scote smashed my window and stole my laptop.

Incidentally I hope the scrotes who took the laptop try to sell it on the black market, It doesn't work and I only had it because it was BER.

I take it this is how it will be reported to the insurance company.

Are you sure you hadn't phoned one of those wind up joke lines by accident.

Originally Posted by dingerr

Originally Posted by Tytus_Barnowl

Question 1: How would you describe your ethnic appearance.

RED with fcuking rage.

Question 2: Have you been a victim of crime in the last 12 months.

YES 10 minutes ago some scote smashed my window and stole my laptop.

Question 3. Have you had occasion to report and incident to the police in the last 12 months.

YES because 10 minutes ago some scote smashed my window and stole my laptop.

Incidentally I hope the scrotes who took the laptop try to sell it on the black market, It doesn't work and I only had it because it was BER.

I take it this is how it will be reported to the insurance company.

Are you sure you hadn't phoned one of those wind up joke lines by accident.

My sentiments exactly.
Tomorrow I have to visit a local school where I have no doubt the perpertrators are in attendance, I wonder if the school grapevine picks this up.
TB

Question: did you dial 999 when you returned to your car?

Originally Posted by Tytus_Barnowl

I was duly put through to the "farce incident centre" and agreed to give a verbal statement.
Question 1: How would you describe your ethnic appearance.
Question 2: Have you been a victim of crime in the last 12 months.
Question 3. Have you had occasion to report and incident to the police in the last 12 months.
Forgive me if I'm missing something here but what the Fukc has this got to do with any potential enquiry.
Comments/answers anyone?TB

All questions from the Home Office designed to track Patterns in revictimisation, the ethnicity of victims and "customers" of police service.

I agree with you infact I hate asking peoples ethnicty as I consider it an increadibly rude question but hey I am just a copper so what do I know compared with some criminologist at Queen Annes Gate?

Trotsky

I take it this is how it will be reported to the insurance company.

Do me a favour, if anyone knows of an insurance company that would pay out on this scenario please let me know.

I had an expierance like that but it was a mate who`s car was done over

well i say done over,it was nicked completely

while my volvo boring wagon was left untouched

should have seen the mates faces when we(our wifes/kids faces)got round the corner and i said to my mate "i dont think your car is there"

he was down from devon for the weekend and had to call a relly to come get him(300mile drive or so):0

the insurance company where knobs and tried it on,all because i knew the area and despite ringing the cops (who turned up 1.5hrs later)I found the car(the wheels/soundsystem)gone!!
and the car windows smashed in and the bodywork kicked to fook resting on all 4 discs,down a well known`secluded footpath.

they tried to torch it but were spooked by some passer by i assume.

i was only about 12 minutes behind them but missed them.
insurance tried to say it was a setup for the cash but the guys were caught that day.

and whats funnier was they had already installed the soundsystem into thier van.

but out of the 3 that did it, 2 got off despite the police having known of this gang prior to this(the van was spotted by some nice guy)

the mate had to go all the way to devon and fax the recipt for the soundsystem before the cops would give it back.(despite the perfect description of everything nicked)

total farce the cops sometimes.(politely put)

hope you get vengence mate

I had my car broken into in Swansea a few years ago. The tw@t smashed the passenger window after using a chisel to unsuccessfully get through the door. He ignored a pair of Oakelys worth £250 and stole the cd player that didn't have the head unit on it.

My car was covered in this guys blood and the cops weren't interested in coming to get a dna swab before I took my car to the bodyshop to get it repaired. On the way to the bodyshop, I passed two mobile tax evasion units (4 bikes, 2 cars at each trap)-they both point blankly refused to help me or even take a swab.

A few weeks later, I got a call saying they caught the guy but 'He was only a young lad' (he was 2 years older than me) and that if I had tried to claim against him, I would fail as he had no money as he was a druggie. The cop then had a go at me when I said I hoped the guy died of AIDS in prison then.

I lost all respect for the police at that stage. South Wales Police-utter cnuts.

Tytus,

Did you leave your laptop out in full view? If so, I'm sorry but you were asking to have your car broken into.

Originally Posted by the_matelot

I lost all respect for the police at that stage. South Wales Police-utter cnuts.

I second that. Arn't they the boys who have Chief Constable Brunstrom as their boss? The nice copper who likes to ignore druggies and instead install lots of speed cameras?

He's a right cunt.

No, that's North Wales Prae.

South Wales Police have got nothing better to do than persecute (and it is persecution) motorists.

If you don't believe me, drive to Fishguard or Pembroke when the ferries are due to depart/arrive. The only times I've ever been pulled over have been then.

Originally Posted by the_matelot

No, that's North Wales Prae.

South Wales Police have got nothing better to do than persecute (and it is persecution) motorists.

If you don't believe me, drive to Fishguard or Pembroke when the ferries are due to depart/arrive. The only times I've ever been pulled over have been then.

Considering the seemingly total lack of police here in N Wales, One has to assume they are all busy digging bleeding post holes for their bleeding never ending supply of speed cameras, The twots want even more money from we tax payers this year, I assume its for more shovels. I know where they should shove their cameras but am to polite to say up your arse you twonks

Had my phone nicked out of my car once, reported to the police for insurance claim. Got a call from 'the victims support unit' a few days later from a woman who sounded like a cross between Clare Rayner and the worst type of radio chat agony aunt, all syrupy and 'ahh, are you sure you are feeling ok, not a teensy bit upset'? When I confirmed for the tenth time that I was not 'upset' it was only a phone and not a crime against humanity, she said, 'it's ok to talk about it, I'm here for you'. I then exploded all down the phone and suggested she was getting far more from the call than any victim ever would because she could go to the next vicarege tea party and tell all her chums that she was bringing comfort and support to 'victims of crime' and go to bed with a self rightous glow and a cup of cocoa. She burst into tears and slammed the phone down.
Job Well Done!!

...

Sorry mucker but we feel just as exasperated asking the damn questions. Truth is we get disciplined and loose an increment (approx £800 as a fine) if we fail to ask them and get caught out. In Scotland we have to ask the following word perfect
Q. What is your ethnic origin?

You’d be amazed at the answers we get including "Celtic" or "Rangers"

We are trying to do what we can with our hands tied you have my word.

Effy20