Ok - the wish fairy has just landed on your desk and , in return for some wonderful thing youve done, grants you 3 wishes - what to you ask for ????

you cant have the kiddies favourit of wishes for the rest of my life and i dont want to see bollox like peace to all man kind

be honest if your one ambition is to hang out of hilda ogdens back doors, have a working voodoo doll of tony Blair or a 12 inch schlong (im not shortening mine by 4 inches for any one) - come on the - the only limitations are your own greed, depravity and imagination

(apologies if this has been posted before - if it has bin it )

edited by me cos its 0431 and i cant spell wish

Lets start with

Blairs offspring straight into the mob and off to Basra chop chop

NoTW to accidently print cartoons offencive to muslims so they can "FEEL THE LOVE" from demonstrating insulted religious types

A hotel room next door to Mylene Klass, a large drill, knee pads and plenty of kleenex

toodlepip
theGimp

A never emptying Barbi bucket filled with the great unwashed Treehugging Greenies for use in Bushfires.

John Howard and Air Marshall Houston (RAAF) to be forced to wear the abortion known as "Combat TerRas"

And an extra 12 inches on my legs so I can stop treading on my bellend

A nice new heart for me and the old one to go to the "professional" who ignored the virus which fecked it!

1. All chavs ,benefit seekers and antisocial elements sent to iraq, let them fight amongst themselves
2. That east german builder who built the Berlin wall to build it around our septered isle
3. Hugh heffners crib and all its contents relocated in the uk(minus hugh of course)

1 - ALL political and religious leaders the world over to say exactly what they're thinking rather than spouting the lies, damn lies and pious bullshit that they currently do: come the revolutions...

2 - British 'glitterati', 'celebrities' and 'personalities' to be put to work doing all of the smelly, nasty jobs. Only those with proven talent escape this, but their income is reduced to that of the average nurse / squaddie and their previous exorbitant income spread amongst those public servants who actually give of themselves (civil servants do NOT qualify).

3 - Ice cream, kebabs and alcohol to be calorie-free...

All radicals to be made harmless ( Oopps, i meant armless )

The winning numbers for the next lottery rollover rollover rollover rollover etc

Tony Bliar to be made redundant, homeless, pennyless and honest

To wake up in the morning and find that mrs hammer now looks like and puts out like Jenna Jameson.

To win the lottery and be stinking rich.

All chavs and ASBO knobbers to die overnite.

To have more time in the day so I can actually have the time to enjoy what I do.

Gwyneth Paltrow to be forced to do community service for the Brits - for life (Oi you missed a bit biatch! Foot to head, start again! :D).

To have a mute button for my daughters.

Think big.

1. £50 Billion in the bank.
2. To live forever and never age.
3. The ability to read minds.