ARmy Rumour SErvice

Well done that man!! (Those Men). Shame it doesn't happen more often.
Reminds me of a time when I was having a quiet Pizza in one of those pizza places named after a newspaper, when a couple of louts decided to come in and create.
The manager came up to them and asked them to leave, but they just gobbed off even more. Next thing, they start to throw food around the place, my missus getting a dough ball in the suede to much laughter and applause from said youths . At this point i had had enough and turned into Mr Angry from Purley . I got up, grabbed them by an ear each and frogged marched them out into the street, where I hurled them ('woughly to the gwond centuwion') giving said ears a twist as I did.
Got back into the restaurant to a standing ovation and a free meal to boot.....still ended up in court for ABH.
Four months later, got away with it due to the other customers giving evidence on my behalf - close shave tho....

Well done pompey and the others.

This puts me in mind of an incident in Austria just over two years ago. I was staying in Salzburg with my parents, and we were on our way to Vienna via the train. Being the only member of the family who speaks German, I was up at the counter getting our tickets, when I became aware of a commotion behind me. A group of Austrian schoolkids (about 14 years of age I imagine) were making a bloody nuisance of themselves, and their teacher was making no effort to control them. Austria being a rather staid place, their behaviour was causing a lot of raised eyebrows, but nothing more. It was when they started to repeatedly jump over our luggage - it was sitting on the ground - that I knew a flare up was coming. I could see from my mother's face that she was of the same mind, as she started shooting panicked glances at my father, whom we both knew was about to 'do something about this'. Seeing 'it' coming, I kept my hands by my sides and tried not to grin too obviously. My father - who served in the Irish Army for some 18 years and fought in the Congolese Civil War - at that time was nearing 69, is about 5"8, weighs some 13 stone, but is built like a prop forward. He positioned himself near where the schoolkids were, put his hands in his pockets and shoulder-charged the ringleader who went skidding backwards along the ground on his arse. This little civic disturbance then made the mistake of bouncing up and making for my father, who sent him flying back into our pile of luggage. His mates then gathered round and started gobbing-off in German at my father, whereupon I intervened with what I hope was a parade-ground perfect "HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM?!" to which the little chav, looking totally astonished, replied "No, I do not', which elicited a "THEN SHUT THE HELL UP!" from me. By this stage we had a nice little crowd of bemused Austrian onlookers around us, who hadn't probably seen something so interesting since 1945, and my mother was well into the second decade of the Rosary. Anyway the teacher finally remembered her job and hustled the utterly astonished schoolkids away.

To my mother's dire warnings that my father could be charged with assault he merely replied that he had merely given the 'young gouger' a traditional Gaelic football shoulder charge.

Come to think of it, that incident was the highlight of the holiday.

Yesterday, in for my swim at the local pool, a group of 14/15 yr olds running round each other and compacted in the foyer, everyone startled.

One, the boldest , but smallest came rather too close to me, leaning to him i brought up my elbow in to his breastbone, saying , ' Oh, so sorry.'

'Did you see that'............ someone said.

Things quietened down , but i kept my balance and one foot free.

Yours, an old git.

Everyone, out on the streets now! Let's reclaim our country from the oiks!

Originally Posted by RogueTrooper

Got back into the restaurant to a standing ovation and a free meal to boot.....still ended up in court for ABH.
Four months later, got away with it due to the other customers giving evidence on my behalf - close shave tho....

Getting charged with ABH after carrying out your common law duty to prevent a breach the peace?

Welcome to Blair's Britain

Was at the pictures and a bunch of chavs and chavettes were sounding off, texting each other and genuinely spoiling the film for the rest of us. Finally my temper reached its limit and I went over to them and gave them a debrief in a firm, but fair way.

I think I scared the shit out of them as they were in stoney silence facing the front for the rest of the film.

Top Man

be carefull in todays britain you will be the one in the wrong