ARmy Rumour SErvice

Change religion.

Shallom.

Originally Posted by homeworker

I am not a skinflint but I want to get a decent amount of use out of the things that I buy. We have a fresh Christmas tree every year but 'she who is always obeyed' said that the lights we use have got a bit old and need replacing. OK, there were a couple of dead ones and I had to make some repairs but that barely makes a difference.

She bought some while LED lights that apparently have a strobe effect, she put them up on the tree the other day and, I have to admit, they did not look too bad and then my youngest started playing about with the controls on the lights. I am not sure what happened next but the doctor said that I had an epileptic event and I should avoid flashing lights and come back after the holidays to formally get the bad news.

I fucking hate Christmas.

And this one time at band camp.

Is this really an advert for the strobe lights? To be delivered after Christmas of course.

Well if you hate christmas then become a muslim, Allah akbar.

Originally Posted by Boozeguzzler

Well if you hate christmas then become a muslim, Allah akbar.

Do it, and then as a bonus, you can beat the shit out of your wife and kids whilst bleeding the state dry.

And if wifey doesn't like it, just get her a 7.62 in the back of the head courtesy of some lovely sharia.

I like Xmas, plenty to eat, plenty to drink (non-alcoholic that is). But I do destest the way folks will spend hundreds of pounds on each other, including the little 'uns, when a few days after Chrimbo, the £1,500-00 Home Gym Kit that Wifey has bught Hubby gets consigned to garage, along with all the other tat that is bought.

Just think of all the food that is wasted because too much ahs been bought, and it all ends up in the wheelie bin. Next week, this all happens again, as a stock-up for New Year is rushed through. More dosh spent, more food wasted, more empty booze bottles to get rid off. it is all too much.

For me, I would just like to see Nurse Olga and Matron come into my bedroom at the "Sunnyside Meadows Old Folks Home" to give me my bedtime cocoa and Meds, then for them to do a strip tease, jump my bones, one at a time please... and make an Old Krusty pleasantly worn out before rocking the night away in one's w*nking chariot......

Then it is back to a Scrooge bowl of watery gruel (porridge) the next morning for brekky.....whilst listening to the skirl o' the Pipes from the Regimental Pipe Major! Yes, I am miserable old Victor Meldrew....... but many a fine tune is played on a worn out fiddle..... fiddle.....!!

I don't like Christmas because there is too much emphasis/expectations on presents. If it was just a good excuse to have the family round for dinner etc it would be great.


As it is the NAAFI, fuck you all

As it is the NAAFI, fuck you all

Aye Theng You Squire...... aye theng you.....