ARmy Rumour SErvice

Wasn't bastard me! Back to the office and fantasising about shagging Kirsty from customer services over the bosses desk on Monday it is then...

Originally Posted by Civvy Scum

Go to the head office (I'm not based there, TF), on Monday morning dressed as a pirate. Or a clown. Or a clown pirate. Wander around generally taking the piss until one of the dozy twats drummed up enough courage to ask me WTF I thought I was doing. THEN let rip at the cunts. Then quietly walk out and get on with life, probably starting with a few hookers.

liar. you havent got the balls to do anything about your life as it is, never mind daydreaming about it changing

Originally Posted by WolvoExPunk

Hire a biker gang to batter fuck out of everyone who has ever pissed me off.

Celebrate with a pint and a bag of chips, cos that's all I will have left.
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No, but seriously, I'd buy my immediate family houses, flats, cars or whatever they want.

Organise a big Punk festival at Gateshead Stadium. I'd have the Sex Pistols, Damned, UK Subs, Cockney Rejects, Exploited, GBH, Anti Nowhere League, and many more. I'd also have the Sex Pistols do an invite-only aftershow party at Gateshead Three Tuns.

Give some £££ to deserving charities: (British Legion/H4H/St Dunstans/BLESMA)

Travel the world first class to attend Punk gigs, cage fights, football and boxing matches, staying in 5* hotels, with a string of Scandanavian six foot beauties in tow.

Liar again. same as above. Why fib?

Originally Posted by diverman

Me, if I took part, which I don't, I'd put £ten million pound contract on Bliar and Brown for what they have done to my country payable in any currency or even gold or oil. The rest, 10 million for H4H and enjoy a long holiday watching the news of Bliars and Browns demise. I'd consider it money well spent.

another one. liar, liar, pants on fire. you would do fuck all. other than than piss off with you new gelt & fuck everyonone else. tell me i'm wrong.

Originally Posted by re-stilly

set up my own archery field with 70m indoor range, and 100yd outdoor. Plus gym and restaurant. Would spend the rest of my time paying someone else to run it and spend my time shooting arrows.

at last, an honest man. can i bring my mate panzerknacker to your place for a party? i'll bring the charlie.

I would stay in the far east and fuck myself into an early grave. No change really.

Originally Posted by Taff49

at last, an honest man. can i bring my mate panzerknacker to your place for a party? i'll bring the charlie.

As long as Charlie has big tits you can bring who you like.

Buy the Guardian (would probably only cost a tenner by now), and force Polly Toynbee to write pro-tory, anti-union, generally right wing columns. Do the same (or opposite? Not really sure) with the Telegraph and James Delingpole. Why? Because I can.

Originally Posted by LancePrivateJones

Triumph T160 Bonneville.

[Anorak]T160 was the three cylinder Trident[/Anorak]

Move my father out of his current nursing home into the best available & make sure my mother has whatever she needs.
A few million to brother & sister.
Bugger off to the US on the first available flight & square away getting resident alien status.
Buy guns, lots & lots of guns.
A yuge chunk of northern New Mexico to play on, wif a a lake & trees & furry things to kill & eat.
A bit of land here & somewehere to stay in the summer.
A naryplane.

I'd purchase my ideal idyllic country retreat, complete with a couple of thousand acres of rolling countryside.

Then, I'd stock my land with rare breed cattle from around the globe before culling them all in a single afternoon with an assortment of large calibre rifles.

The carcasses would be left to rot so I could then shoot the crows feasting on the free butcher's shop assortment.

Next on the list would be a Raleigh Grifter with tasselled handlebars and a nubile Moroccan male to massage my thighs.