ARmy Rumour SErvice

**the_boy_syrup** · 10-07-2012, 19:28

Originally Posted by Grumblegrunt

an american remake of zulu would be horrendous - no brit actors in lead roles it would end up being tom cruise or tatum channing, a kick ass love interest and somewhere they would find something to make mealy bag claymores or napalm and probably there would be a maxim gun or similar which our hero could pick up and fire from the hip.

Christ don't post that Mel Gibson might read it and think hat would make a good project.
Al the Brits would be Jews and natuarly would be raping there way across Natal.
The brave zulu's led by Mel would be out to rid there country of the evil British Oppressor.
The Padre would be Irish and would move out of the camp after cock a nee soldier Pte Hook raped his daughter.
Gibson looking like an extra from the Black and White Minstrels show gives his men a motivational speech about how together they can win against the evil redcoats.
As the 23,000 Redcoats defend Rourkes Drift again's Mel and his 200 warriers we see the British burning villages further south to draw Mel's reinforcements away.
Mel dies as Gonville Bromhead baynets him as he gasps "you may take our land but you'll never take our FRRRREEEEDOM"

The Brits resond by releasing a low budget remake.
Danny Dyer and Vinne Jones hold Rourkes Fackin Drift you caaants by glassing and nutting zulu's
Bomhead kicks fuck out of Chard for mugging him off.
The Zulus don't know what to make of the Brits chanting "your going home in a fucking ambulance"

Giuy Richie makes a version with a load of posh boys trying to be cockney tring to be Welsh
The fucking things so complicated that no one knows whose won.
Maddona fucks up the soundtrack.

**Fireplace** · 10-07-2012, 20:57

Grumblegrunt and The Boy Syrup: I'm with you and your thoughts on Hollywood. The best thing for the film industry would be a gaint hand to pull the chain and we all cheer as Hollywood vanishes down the pan.

**old_fat_and_hairy** · 10-07-2012, 20:57

Someone mentioned spending an inordinate amount of money on W.C.Fields box set. Well, if you visit a series of shops called 'The Works' ( which often seem to be in garden centres), then they and many others -including Marx brothers, Laurel and Hardy and several good war films can be had for a small amount of money.

'Citizen Kane' not shown often, if at all. I had to watch this for a history module recently, and had forgotten just how good it was. That was on required viewing along with both versions of 'Cape Fear' which are very good, although I prefer the Gregory Peck version. Almost as good as the take done by 'The Simpsons'.

A favourite of my family is 'The Cat and the Canary' with Bob Hope. Very funny and a tad jumpy in places. Martin and Lewis did a rip-off verison called, I think, 'Scared Stiff'.

I'm also a huge fan of Abbott and Costello, but they rarely get an airing. I suppose my taste reflects my age and time I spent in Saturday morning flicks.

Oooh, someone mentioned 'Dracula'. Had to do that on my course too. Excellent, but until I did the course, and the tutorials, I hadn't realised it was a paeon to the empowerment of feminism. I thoughtt it was just a good horror. Shame we didn't do 'The Vampire Lovers' about lesbian vampires!