ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Aunty Stella** · 19-08-2005, 23:56

Just remember, some of us have become fat by choice in preperation for the forthcoming ice age.

We'll soon see who's laughing when glaciers start coming down the High Street and us blubber arrses are laughing at the rest of you chasing mammoths around for food.

The ugly thing is just a bonus, it lends credibility to the "I was bombed by a B17 whilst rescuing orphans from AQ in Belfast during a world champion boxing match" story.

**gado** · 19-08-2005, 23:59

Ty Aunty xx

**hogspawn** · 20-08-2005, 00:18

Originally Posted by dizzy_blonde

how would you play pull the pig?

fat birds need loving too

Diz, I love you!

You've hit the nail on the head, everyone needs some Lovin, and if it's 'spawn Lovin, it's all good baby yeah!

**DigitalGeek** · 20-08-2005, 01:01

I would rather be fat and ugly than look like a pull through for an AS90 with a trendy haircut.

Get a life

Smoke Tabs
Drink Beer
Eat Lard

**Aunty Stella** · 20-08-2005, 01:16

Remember, it will come to you all (the proper squaddies, anyway)

One day you'll be out and the enforced PT will stop. You'll carry on for a while out of guilt but slowly you'll realise that you really don't need to run to work and no one is going to bollock you if you can't get from one end of the office or workshop to the other in progressively faster times.

But the level and speed of drinking, smoking tabs and eating sh1te will continue.

After 2 years you'll be qualified to sit with me during the ice age laughing at skinny starving blokes chasing hairy elephants

**Little Jack H** · 20-08-2005, 22:55

Originally Posted by gado

ty xx i've obviously been getting more fat ugly & more undesirable, but give me a day or two & i'll stop snivelling. So, where do you live

?

Too far from civilisation for someone like you Gado. Your shining radience would light the night sky and keep all the little farmyard animals awake. :(

On the back of the seat in front you'll find a sick-bag. Please feel free to use it

**BuckFelize** · 21-08-2005, 11:20

I think I can say with some conviction that my overall tally of confirmed kills would be significantly 'dented' if not noticably reduced if it weren't for fat, desperate birds after a bit of the ol' Liebewurst. Don't get me wrong, I've managed to pull some fcuking crackers (although I know not how), but the bread n' butter of my kill chart are successes that I'd rather forget. I remember one 'bird' had an eczema-like cheesy paste living under one of her flab folds that absolutely fcuking stank. Lovely personality... probably.

Nauseous of Waltington-on-Sea

**BuckFelize** · 21-08-2005, 11:25

Originally Posted by Geordie_Blerk

If you lift up a fat bird's breasts there will always be a supply of a Primula type substance beneath them. Sweat and dark clammy places maketh fine cheese.

Yeah... that's the stuff. You too, eh? It was probably the same target. 16st. troll called Marjie perchance?