ARmy Rumour SErvice

Originally Posted by jarrod248

It's an inadequate type with low self worth and low self esteem. It craves the attention of people in uniform. It no doubt associates with ex-forces personnel and wears uniform that it's not entitled to wear.
It probably wears medals from the Internet and its cycling proficiency test badge.
Likely it was hated at school, had Asthma and wasn't allowed to join the Army.
It's mother would be over protective and rather neurotic probably a Valium addict.
It'll have had a string of low paid mundane jobs, always hating being inadequate and overweight.

Do you write scripts for "Criminal Minds" ?

If not you could.

Originally Posted by King_of_the_Burpas

Agreed. As are camera chappies. Most of the stuff we do now involves a "multiplatform producer" who waives a camcorder in front of a wooden presenter, mostly doing pointless walks to camera cut with noddies and crap questions, in the hope that the assembled pile of vomit will be accepted by This World. And it usually is ,cos they didn't have to pay for it.

For "multiplatform producer" read 'useless cunt who is sooo useless that they can't do anything else'.

The last time I worked with a cameraman was in Boz and he was pissed out of his skull most of the time. He was one of Bell's little tribe. Good chap, but pissed all the time.

Someone mention me?

Originally Posted by King_of_the_Burpas

Agreed. As are camera chappies. Most of the stuff we do now involves a "multiplatform producer" who waives a camcorder in front of a wooden presenter, mostly doing pointless walks to camera cut with noddies and crap questions, in the hope that the assembled pile of vomit will be accepted by This World. And it usually is ,cos they didn't have to pay for it.

For "multiplatform producer" read 'useless cunt who is sooo useless that they can't do anything else'.

The last time I worked with a cameraman was in Boz and he was pissed out of his skull most of the time. He was one of Bell's little tribe. Good chap, but pissed all the time.

...I've seen these 'multi-skillers' (hahaha), on the road- they are normally dressed in 'fashionable' clothes and wouldn't know what a 'white balance' was if it slapped them. We used to have to put up with what was referred to as a VJ - although luckily I think they have all been killed off as most of the packages these 'jack of all trades and master of fuck all' wannabes put together seemed to be largely about themselves with small elements of the actual story tacked on for good measure.

There are still a few soundos on contract at BBC news but they are all a bit 'odd'.

I take it you mean 'stop me and buy one' Bell. His cameraman was one armed Mo (who is now dead)

Originally Posted by eodmatt

Someone mention me?

I didn't think you were a camera chap. I thought you drove a Tamiya Yamuchiba Bobcart into nasty places and then fired captive bolt pistols at piles of fertilizer.

Originally Posted by The_Snail

You have to pay for that.

The usual fee?

A wine box of Lidl Hock?

Originally Posted by King_of_the_Burpas

I didn't think you were a camera chap. I thought you drove a Tamiya Yamuchiba Bobcart into nasty places and then fired captive bolt pistols at piles of fertilizer.

Yep, you got it. But don't forget that me iPhone has a camera built in. It isn't much use for up-skirts though.

Ah, don't mind if I do. Cheers!

Originally Posted by bigeye

...I've seen these 'multi-skillers' (hahaha), on the road- they are normally dressed in 'fashionable' clothes and wouldn't know what a 'white balance' was if it slapped them. We used to have to put up with what was referred to as a VJ - although luckily I think they have all been killed off as most of the packages these 'jack of all trades and master of fuck all' wannabes put together seemed to be largely about themselves with small elements of the actual story tacked on for good measure.

There are still a few soundos on contract at BBC news but they are all a bit 'odd'.

I take it you mean 'stop me and buy one' Bell. His cameraman was one armed Mo (who is now dead)

Aye. Never worked with the one armed bandit. Was someone else, who did the shoot on the balcony when the Serbs changed their start line at that hotel. He was larruped all the time.

What gets me is the predictability of the pictures with the 'Jacks'. Every PTC has to feature the presenter walking towards camera waiving her (usually) arms about, then a voice over of some ethnic person washing the dishes and a straight cut to a tightly shot interview, with about seven cutaways to a pair of wringing hands every 30 secs to cope with the edit.

The last one I saw was a piece for This World from Honduras about death squads. It was like watching a media studies student's exam video.

Oh. How many times recently have you noticed the Beeb and Sky film an interview with their own taxi driver?

Originally Posted by King_of_the_Burpas

Agreed. As are camera chappies. Most of the stuff we do now involves a "multiplatform producer" who waives a camcorder in front of a wooden presenter, mostly doing pointless walks to camera cut with noddies and crap questions, in the hope that the assembled pile of vomit will be accepted by This World. And it usually is ,cos they didn't have to pay for it.

For "multiplatform producer" read 'useless cunt who is sooo useless that they can't do anything else'.

The last time I worked with a cameraman was in Boz and he was pissed out of his skull most of the time. He was one of Bell's little tribe. Good chap, but pissed all the time.

I have heard similar stories from my brother who at one time worked for the film council after leaving film school.

He stopped advertising vacancies for placements externaly as he would be inundated with the same CVs from the same couple of dozen ex-private school hipster twats who thought they were destined to be "media" professionals, not a one of them having actually been to film school or studied actual film and televison production.

Quite a lot of them would have a degree in "Media Studies" though, the wankers degree of choice.