ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Bushmills** · 20-06-2012, 06:10

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis officially announce split after months of rumours

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis split after 14 years together - 3am & Mirror Online

Do any of us stand a chance?

**Mark The Convict** · 20-06-2012, 06:16

*clicks link* Yuk! Head like a Phantom ring. You can have my go mate, she's all yours.

**Bushmills** · 20-06-2012, 06:19

Originally Posted by Mark The Convict

*clicks link* Yuk! Head like a Phantom ring. You can have my go mate, she's all yours.

Mark, I keep telling ya', gotta get out more mate! Your libido is starting to go :

La Paradis does not have a head like a robber's dog.

**eodmatt** · 20-06-2012, 06:21

Hopefully she gives head like a robbers dog.

**cernunnos** · 20-06-2012, 06:24

I thought you meant Mrs Mubarak you sick puppy you:

**Bushmills** · 20-06-2012, 06:26

Originally Posted by cernunnos

I thought you meant Mrs Mubarak you sick puppy you:

Even the desperados of Darwin wouldn't stoop so low.

**cernunnos** · 20-06-2012, 07:10

When you look at Vanessa Paradis:

.......with her strange shaped bulbous cock munching gallic swede, you may be forgiven for assuming that her dad was :

the Mekon!

**Blackrat** · 20-06-2012, 07:25

I'm in a quandry here. Although smashable, she is French and has a gap between her teeth you could put a shoe in. I mean, i would have a go given the chance, but there is the risk that her armpits are hairy and that she stinks of Galouise smoke and dried up Johnny Depp jitler.

**Bushmills** · 20-06-2012, 07:29

Originally Posted by Blackrat

I'm in a quandry here. Although smashable, she is French and has a gap between her teeth you could put a shoe in. I mean, i would have a go given the chance, but there is the risk that her armpits are hairy and that she stinks of Galouise smoke and dried up Johnny Depp jitler.

I'm sure she's gutted to hear that.

**cernunnos** · 20-06-2012, 07:31

Due to the French aversion to soap the Gall's-arse smoke is a practical solution to keeping the flys away from the rancid month old garlic tainted fanny batter, sorry I meant fanny oeufs et farine.