ARmy Rumour SErvice

**longlivethequeen** · 17-06-2012, 17:34

Originally Posted by twosugarsnomilk

And if you get stuck at Heathrow for 10 hours next week,will your choice be Heathrow?

And your worst motorway being the M25 in about an hours time when you get stuck in a 35 mile tailback?

Most probably how ever I will not be paying £9.40 for the first 2 hour car park charge what a rip off, I hope young sprig has some money left for it daddy had a small admin mistake as well and only brought £20 and no plastic.

**Arters** · 17-06-2012, 17:36

Mombasa, full of 'Jobsworths' intent on stamping everything with gusto, only good
thing to be said for it is being able to give the resident Crows a fcuking hard time.

**Gusset_Major** · 17-06-2012, 17:36

Murmansk - in February with no heating and an 8 hour delay. I was glad to get to Sheremyetovo (another dump of an airport).

**cloudbuster** · 17-06-2012, 17:39

Originally Posted by Emsav

Schiphol airport is the worst, security seems to find it amusing to search you when you are in a rush, searched me because my canvass belt was sewn to my trousers, thus irremovable …… batards! Nearly cost me a flight, made it to the plane just as the door was closing, sweating and semi-dressed and whispering under my breath “you can stick your tulips up your backside!!”

No, it's just you.

Nobody nominated Brize?

**The_Snail** · 17-06-2012, 17:44

Originally Posted by cloudbuster

No, it's just you.

Nobody nominated Brize?

That goes without saying.

**exbleep** · 17-06-2012, 17:44

Philip Goldson airport, Belize. International shit hole. Tegucigalpa Honduras, makes Belize airport seem like heaven. Atlanta, Georgia, a massive hub with no-one who has a clue. Probably got a downer on the last as we were at gate 7 for a flight to Las Vegas, then told gate change to 23 right at the other end of the airport. 10 minutes later, gate change to 14 which was right next to gate 7 where we first started.
UK airports are all crap, Heathrow dirty and disorganised (especially BA). Most of them appear to be shopping centres with an airport tacked on. No water to be taken through to departures but you can buy a little bottle for £2.50 when you get there, absolute rip-off. Birmingham, couldn't get a cup of coffee at 6.30 am but the bleeding bar was open! Advice on going to Orlando, don't choose Orlando International, opt for Sandford instead. It might take longer to get to Orlando but it'll take hours to get through customs and car hire at International, at least Sandford has a bit of organisation about it.
Come to think of it, can't think of a decent airport. Dulles at Washington wasn't too bad and they have those cool buses that clamp onto the side of the aircraft and whisk you to the arrival lounge. They look at you a bit odd when you ask for a pitcher of beer and don't want a glass, though. Straight out of the pitcher, thank you very much.

**pongo6863** · 17-06-2012, 17:47

Paris Orly. Got to the gate in my wheelchair.
Frog. "where's your minder?"
Me. "I don't have one."
Frog. "You cannot go on the aeroplane alone."
Me. "I arrived alone."
Frog. "It is not allowed"
Me. "It was allowed when I arrived."
...and so on until they were ready to close the gate then the officious bastard waved me through.
I fucking hate Paris!

Other than that, Gander. Not only is the airport crap, bloody cold and in the middle of nowhere, but the coffee was the worst I've ever had the misfortune to drink!