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Discuss Inventive Ways of Getting Fired in The NAAFI Bar on The Army Rumour Service; Why not make a very determined attempt to lez up the quality manager and then threaten to cut your wrists if she won't have sex with you? Have a camera standing by in case it ...
  1. #61
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    Why not make a very determined attempt to lez up the quality manager and then threaten to cut your wrists if she won't have sex with you? Have a camera standing by in case it all goes horribly wrong and you're forced to sleep with her. The video evidence of you and blondey will be appreciated by hubby, post it on the company intranet and you'll get the boot and then flog it to an Internet porn company for cash, not forgetting to post a link for your fellow arrsers as a reward for our good advice.
    LucreziaBorgia likes this.
    Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch

    Confusing English people since 1854.

  2. #62
    Senior Member cloudbuster's Avatar
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    ^ Gets my vote ^
    If you can't take the RAF, you shouldn't have joined a joke.

  3. #63
    Senior Member Fablonbiffchitthe1st's Avatar
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    Enter into a lesbo relationship with any female. As many as possible. Film it all either for purposes of blackmail or posterity ( I favour the latter) and be sure to provide us, your extended family, with a link.

  4. #64
    Senior Member LucreziaBorgia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fablonbiffchitthe1st View Post
    Enter into a lesbo relationship with any female. As many as possible. Film it all either for purposes of blackmail or posterity ( I favour the latter) and be sure to provide us, your extended family, with a link.
    S'dusty in here.....

    *sniff*

    Ok! Better Now!
    Quidquid latine dictum sit, alturn viditur.

    Absinthe makes the tarts grow fonder.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Cab-scab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fablonbiffchitthe1st View Post
    Enter into a lesbo relationship with any female. As many as possible. Film it all either for purposes of blackmail or posterity ( I favour the latter) and be sure to provide us, your extended family, with a link.
    But be sure to suggest that they stay here
    Name:  Dangast 023.jpg
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  6. #66
    Senior Member Fang_Farrier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eodmatt View Post
    As a dentist you are a fully qualified BDSM sadist already.
    You try wworking in a job where you have to keep putting oral in search engines and keep getting web marshall, access not allowed as it has keyword oral in it, if you have a genuine reason for accessing this site please contact IT.

    God alone knows how the protologists get anywhere on line!
    It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom -- for that alone, which no honest man gives up,

    As true today as in 1320.

  7. #67
    Senior Member CC_TA's Avatar
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    Bring in trays of doughnuts every now and then with a 'Help yourself' label, let everyone tuck in. Every now and then spike them with drugs or coat with laxative chocolates.

    (Don't forget to bin all the bog roll in work.)
    CC_TA

  8. #68
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    What about running another business from your desk?

  9. #69
    Senior Member Legs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yokel View Post
    What about running another business from your desk?
    Like a drugs cartel.

    Or a Brothel.

    Or a Hitman service.

    Or a ring of international spies.
    LucreziaBorgia likes this.
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup...

  10. #70
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    How about turning up late and knocking off early, then going sick with "stress" every time its the school holidays, or the sun's out and you want some time in the garden. And then when someone grips you, just walk out in a huff, claim constructive dismissal, and take the company to an Employment Tribunal.

    Its easy - believe me - Civil Servants try it all the time.
    Badger_Heed likes this.
    The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

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