ARmy Rumour SErvice

Originally Posted by polar69

Surely a "handrake" is a small german duck ?

And keeping a small duck in your car is ok?

I find other drivers annoying. I particularlyget peeved at arseholes who sit at 50mph in the middle lane of the motorway then pull into the fast lane, still at 50, when I am beetling along at 70*. I hate drivers who stop at a roundabout, wait until they can see the whites of your eyes and then pull out at 5 mph. I hate drivers who arse-ride and Matiz drivers....twats the lot of them. I hate middle aged women who have the inability to park a Micra sized car without fucking it up 10 times before they get it anywhere near right. I hate drivers who when you're overtaking them on a motorway/dual carriageway speed up so you can't overtake. Pricks.

* may be a little white lie

Round here we are cursed with a population of very old* women with hair resembling a starched cauliflower. They drive cars about the size of a large suitcase, and never exceed 25mph. These vehicles are specially modified, with an attachment between the steering wheel and the brake pedal, which means that even the smallest curve in the road results in the brake lights coming on.


* I mean 90+.

Originally Posted by Nurse Ratched

I find other drivers annoying. I particularlyget peeved at arseholes who sit at 50mph in the middle lane of the motorway then pull into the fast lane, still at 50, when I am beetling along at 70*. I hate drivers who stop at a roundabout, wait until they can see the whites of your eyes and then pull out at 5 mph. I hate drivers who arse-ride and Matiz drivers....twats the lot of them. I hate middle aged women who have the inability to park a Micra sized car without fucking it up 10 times before they get it anywhere near right. I hate drivers who when you're overtaking them on a motorway/dual carriageway speed up so you can't overtake. Pricks.

* may be a little white lie

Just a little bit of therapy required me thinks! ............and breathe!

Originally Posted by batfink5537

You know when you get to that stage in a relationship with a lady, & its time to pop that question, "can I stick it up your Arrse love" & she says NO! that's annoying.

Just don't ask,,do it anyway,,she will love it,,now A to M that's different....

People who are completely unable to notice that the line of parked cars is on their side and that I am halfway along said line of cars and then proceed to pull out and try to get past. It isn't going to work you fucking cretin, I was here first now fuck off, you Hyundai 4x4 driving shitcunt. The only thing that annoys me on the road is people who are inconsiderate cretinous fucking cunts. And people who slow down to a crawl for fucking everything, you're turning left into a cul de sac dear, not traversing the Yungas Road. The cunts who rage and rev behind learners, pull out in 3 feet in front of them, start going mental when they stall, etc. Get a grip you fucking mongoloid every cunt starts somewhere and if the 4 second wait while they re start the car and go again has scuppered your schedule get up earlier, crabbit cunts.

When the OH says, 'Fancy a cuppa?' puts the kettle on and fucking forgets about it. Once the task is remember she proceeds to fuck up the brew in a way only women can. Milk and 2 for tea, sod all for coffee, not hard.

Cunts who do the 'mmhmm' when on their phone constantly. 'Want a brew'? 'mmhmm'. Plonk the tea down in front of them 'I didn't want tea'. You're all up against the wall.

Women who can't put things away after using them. Standing on a razor in the bathroom in the middle of the night is almost as bad as trampling a Lego.

I loath and detest and hate people who hate people who smoke,,fucking hate walts,,hating for the sake of hating is just rotten hatred.....

Originally Posted by TheIronDuke

8... Birds who had their chance then blew it by telling their best mates (in confidence) that I was a violent drunken nutter with drug dependence issues and my close personal friends were involved in criminal activities even though the bitch never produced any evidence in Court.

9) Birds who could have done better if they could have just been a little more understanding, you know?

I had my doubts before...... but after that confession you really must be a member of the aristocracy.



Milord.....