ARmy Rumour SErvice

**TheIronDuke** · 05-05-2012, 18:03

Originally Posted by LucreziaBorgia

Americanists who say...

"Yeah, we're good here".

No, you are not. You are fat and have bad skin. You feel Tommy Hilfiger is 'ironic'. You have just signed a contract without reading clause 13B sub section iii. You are, in short, a fucking prey animal.

14) People who do not realise that some drivers believe what Enzo Ferrari said, to wit... "Brakes are for stopping a car". So if you cut me up I have no intention of touching the brakes. Then they bleat on to the filth when almost a ton of finely engineered motor vehicle punts their cheap piece of shite through a fence and into a cow pasture. Wankers.

**Badger_Heed** · 05-05-2012, 18:04

Gobby women who go all floppy when you punch them once.

If they have wound me up to the point of wanton violence, then at least have the courtesy to take at least three haymakers to the temple and a knee to the kidneys.

**TheIronDuke** · 05-05-2012, 18:09

Originally Posted by Badger_Heed

Gobby women who go all floppy when you punch them once.

If they have wound me up to the point of wanton violence, then at least have the courtesy to take at least three haymakers to the temple and a knee to the kidneys.

's a bit harsh. Did you first hold up two fingers in front of her eyes then say "On the word of command. Lurch forward".

Because if you did not, it is not sporting.

**hallveg** · 05-05-2012, 18:35

Hello, I've been away for few years now I'm back.

I hate those twats that merge at the first merge sign on the motorway! WHY?

Massive rod splurges.

**FourEM** · 05-05-2012, 18:43

The clique of useless cunts where I work.

They havent seen 2 09:00's in a day, a tab can take 30 minutes and lunch an hour and a half.
Its really nice to carry this particular bunch of wasters no really it is

**Legs** · 05-05-2012, 18:46

Originally Posted by FourEM

The clique of useless cunts where I work.

They havent seen 2 09:00's in a day, a tab can take 30 minutes and lunch an hour and a half.
Its really nice to carry this particular bunch of wasters no really it is

Erm.... there's only one 09:00 in a day. There are, however, two 9 O'Clocks (in civvy speak)

**LucreziaBorgia** · 05-05-2012, 19:05

Originally Posted by Legs

Erm.... there's only one 09:00 in a day. There are, however, two 9 O'Clocks (in civvy speak)

I wish you could have been there on the day Himself was asked: "Wot, 04:00 in the morning?!"

I nearly had an accident.

**Grey_Mafia65** · 05-05-2012, 19:15

Originally Posted by Grey_Mafia65

People who insist on talking with a scouse accent. I swear, if those fuckers at work don't stop it, I'm going to go postal. I'll just wait til the right week and then I can blame it on PMS and get away with it. Probably get a medal too.

Hmmm, methinks I won't be having this problem on Tuesday...."you're not singing anymore, ooooh you're not singing.any.more..."

**Fablonbiffchitthe1st** · 05-05-2012, 19:45

Smokers who exhale smoke without giving a shit about anyone around them. If I wanted to inhale cigarettes then I would smoke. Dogowners who think that every person on earth loves dogs. I dont and I dont want the fucking thing you own running upto me, sniffing my bollocks and trying to hump my leg. (Well the sniffing bit is rather nice actually). Cats.Boyracers.Twats who use mobile phones whilst driving.Lack of common courtesy and manners. Women who dont let their man go in before them. That type of thing.

**BarkingSpider** · 05-05-2012, 19:57

Originally Posted by cheekyruby

Those Annoying Little Habits....

The fat lazy twat that sits at the next desk to me, keeps caughing and clearing his throat like hes gona gob on the floor, the fact that he goes out for 45 mins lunch them comes back into the office and sits back from his pc to eat the lunch he went out for while doing fuck all for another 20 mins..he eats all day, everytime i look at him he is eating.........all sharp impliments were removed from my desk, and the only thing I have left is a pen which I do think about pushing into his ear with force. he always arrives ten mins late and leaves ten mins early.....and the final one....he breathe,s so loud i keep thinking its the air con......

If you sit on his face for long enough, he might just struggle enough to make you come in floods before he suffocates.

...or drowns.

eidted to add: Sorry, I might have been thinking out loud there.