ARmy Rumour SErvice

A top shelf of whatever's available, served in a desert boot.

Years ago, on a skiiing exercise, in the ski hut's bar, we spotted some quaint old bottles on the rear shelf. Covered in dust, and looking like something out of an alchemist's laboratory, they hadn't been touched for years.

So, we tried a few nips in our cocktails, until we got a bit rowdy and some captain with a failed sense of humour put his foot down, and threatened to close the bar unless we stuck to tried and trusted booze.

Originally Posted by tiny_lewis

An Engineer: One of everything behind the bar, in a bucket. Whatever goes in, you drink.

First one I had when I was a young lad, downed within 10 seconds, I must have lasted about another 10 minutes, lights out!

Originally Posted by Joker62

It'll make a change from your arse then!!

Wouldn't you bend for a friend?

Originally Posted by DavidCameron

Brain Haemorrage... Hemmerr... Hemora... Baileys & Lime - Always a winner for making Mr Vice empty his guts everywhere.

I prefer our old name for that, "A Cheesy Helmet"

Cocktails are not gay. Spent a fine Friday evening last week in the company of my Swedish girlfriend, her of 34" legs, blonde hair & a minge that loves me, swigging all sorts of fine cocktails. I spunked nearly £90 up the wall in 3 hours of getting trashed then went back to her place where she leapt on me & fcuked my fucking brains out. Cocktails are nails. End of.

I think you'll find this is the ultimate cocktail.


Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, largely considered to be the best in the Universe. Its effects are similar to having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

Mixing Instructions

Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh, that Santraginean seawater! Oh, those Santraginean fish!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphuor.
Add an olive.
Drink... but... very carefully...



Howver, back on planet Earth, I quite like a Mac Daddy.

Ingredients
dash whisky bitters
1 strip orange zest
large slug Scotch whisky (not the good stuff)
Dry ginger
lemon,to garnish

I really don't give a fuck what other idiots think of what I drink, but I drink these cocktails, when I have to:
- Old Fashioned
- Manhattan
- Whiskey Sour
- Bloody Mary (when hungover, before eating something for brunch)
- Long Island Ice Tea

Anyone gotta problem? F-off!

Whiskey Sour
Moscow Mule
Havana Mule

Any and each of the above are ideal company on a warm summers evening.