ARmy Rumour SErvice

Can I be the tit that sits in the drivers seat of the Gate Guardian Beastie, making

those ridiculous "cruden, cruden...cruden, cruden...spume" noises, bitte?

Will we be equipped with real rifles and when will pay day be?

Originally Posted by LucreziaBorgia

I wish to have your babies.

As long as some other bugger does, you know, the actual pregnancy, birthing and upbringing bits.

I'd say that's probably for the best given your track record.......

Originally Posted by roadster280

I'll volunteer as the QM. Not that I've run a store in my life, but any fool can sit on his arrse all day saying "Fuck off, you can't have it, it's the last one and someone might need it." Might need to extend my vocabulary a bit, "FOFAD", "Went down on the Atlantic Conveyor (even though it was 30 years ago)".

Bluffer. Every true StoresGod knows it all went up in the fire at Donnington.

Can I be the creepy SNCO who spends all his time in CBRN kit, saying..."You will all be sorry you didn't listen to me the day someone gets hold of some..."while thrapping off to 'Survive to Fight' videos?

I wanna be that stingy old Pad 18yr full-screw that is seen very occasionally outside of work, and does the bare minimum when there.

I wanna winge like fuck that someone has nicked a single Tea-bag from the locked personal tea caddy that I, and no one else, is allowed to touch. I also want to gather all the old Compo that is left over from exercise to take home and feed the kids.

I might even be forced, on threat of demotion, to attend a Sqn function. I'll arrive in my thread-bare 80's fleck suit (the one I got married in) and will stay up at the bar (with one Coke all night) nearest the exit so as soon as I can get away with it, I'll do a runner, all the time whining that I shouldn't be forced to be there.

I'll have a fat dumpy grey wife & two kids; 1 girl, 1 boy. The lad will be a soppy reincarnation of me, dreary and dull. My daughter will be B Sqn's bike. She'll be a regular in the Sqn bars and will often get kicked out by the ROS only then to go back to the block to be Tag-teamed by Recce Tp. All during this I'll have no notion of any of it and think she may have a future as a nun, why should I? She's only 15.

Please please don't tell me this one's gone . . ?

Hi guys, im new here .but have a few questions,

i am going to join the 10 arrsers qhiute soon, and then go onto join the SAS via 49 para. Do I need my own uniform? Ive read most of the books on it an can't see any problems. I have been told by my mate that if your face doesn't fit you won't get in, and stuff. do i need to fill in any paperwork cos im a bit dislexic. Also will they elt me keep my pets in my bedroom? I do wear glasses but can run relly fast, thanks for your help

Originally Posted by HectortheInspector

Originally Posted by roadster280

I'll volunteer as the QM. Not that I've run a store in my life, but any fool can sit on his arrse all day saying "Fuck off, you can't have it, it's the last one and someone might need it." Might need to extend my vocabulary a bit, "FOFAD", "Went down on the Atlantic Conveyor (even though it was 30 years ago)".

Bluffer. Every true StoresGod knows it all went up in the fire at Donnington.

Can I be the creepy SNCO who spends all his time in CBRN kit, saying..."You will all be sorry you didn't listen to me the day someone gets hold of some..."while thrapping off to 'Survive to Fight' videos?

Proword NOWAH

Get sparking.

I hear the SNP have already decided that when Scotland goes on its own, the 10th Arrse Regiment will be renamed the 1st Battalion, the Banff Bum Feltchers.

Kilts to beworn as working dress to allow a right shafting at short notice.