ARmy Rumour SErvice

**netleyned** · 05-05-2012, 20:43

Mess Rugby will alternate between league and union. On the proviso of the following;

- No more than a 'quick' walk at all times, unless the Adj, RSM, Padre, a subaltern or any member of G2 has the ball, then it's hardest, quickest.
- All G4 elements are not expected to play league, but must provide refreshements, scoring and transfusions during these interludes.
- Ball must not hit the CO's wife, visting vip's or bar staff unless it is in jest and/or the previously mentioned look like they'd enjoy it (players discretion).
- The mess Chesterfields are for sin bin/casulaty recovery only during play.
- Mess manager will ref for all matches and is expected to be upto speed on releveant laws at some stage.
- Magic sponge carrier will be choosen from the least intoxicated member of the crowd.
- Fag breaks will be taken in the ante-room every 10 minutes, team captains must ensure this rule is adhered to at all costs, break length can vary.

Any question please submit these to OC Mess Rugby - Re-Stilly

**lumpy2** · 05-05-2012, 20:44

Originally Posted by Fang_Farrier

And where will the Dental Centre be? Of course being on detachment from a Dental Group somewhere miles away, I will be responsible for the dental health of the Regiment but have no direct links to it. Which means that I will be at work in an empty barracks when you're all off on block leave or deployment, preferably with all the heating in the block turned off by the QM as the unit is on block leave and everybody's gone back to the UK. Sub zero temperatures outside and inside! A real Cold War!

Or of course I could be a Company Commander as I did do 4 weeks at Sandhurst, you know.

I'd like to volunteer for dental nursing duties. I'm very good at holding hands and mopping nervous brows. And MAKING SURE THE FECKING SURGERY IS RUN PROPERLY!!!

**PFGEN** · 05-05-2012, 20:55

Originally Posted by Forlorn Hope

As there is an element of equine support, we could have the 10th Arrse Lancers.

I'll sign up to that. Lances yes, but also want proper swords, not the effeminate curvy cocktail sticks that some of these foreign types carry around. Rather a proper skull crusher '96 pattern British heavy cavalry version. Will supply own horse; equine equivalent of Chuck Norris and as mad as a bag of spanners so should fit in well.

**Legs** · 05-05-2012, 21:02

Originally Posted by Forlorn Hope

As there is an element of equine support, we could have the 10th Arrse Lancers.

Originally Posted by PFGEN

I'll sign up to that. Lances yes, but also want proper swords, not the effeminate curvy cocktail sticks that some of these foreign types carry around. Rather a proper skull crusher '96 pattern British heavy cavalry version. Will supply own horse; equine equivalent of Chuck Norris and as mad as a bag of spanners so should fit in well.

That position has already been taken I believe. Only one man on this site could take the role of Arrse Lancer...

**TheFriendlyBomb** · 05-05-2012, 21:07

Originally Posted by cloudbuster

Why not. You're unlikely to be lonely.

So basically my function would be to stay out of the way and let the SNCO's handle it right? Maybe do some sort of vauge paperwork before being sent off to HQ for a staff job which I'll cock up completely?

**PFGEN** · 05-05-2012, 21:09

Originally Posted by Legs

That position has already been taken I believe. Only one man on this site could take the role of Arrse Lancer...

Rats, I'd overlooked the obvious on that one.

**Legs** · 05-05-2012, 21:10

Originally Posted by TheFriendlyBomb

So basically my function would be to stay out of the way and let the SNCO's handle it right? Maybe do some sort of vauge paperwork before being sent off to HQ for a staff job which I'll cock up completely?

Sounds about right. Sign here Sir. And here. And just initial here to verify that this signature is actually your signature and not someone else pretending to be you.

Thanks Sir, shall I close the door on my way out?

**cloudbuster** · 05-05-2012, 21:14

Originally Posted by TheFriendlyBomb

So basically my function would be to stay out of the way and let the SNCO's handle it right? Maybe do some sort of vauge paperwork before being sent off to HQ for a staff job which I'll cock up completely?

In one. Along with the bulk of the unit's Subbies. Much safer for all if you stick to what you know, rather than what you think you know.

**TheFriendlyBomb** · 05-05-2012, 21:27

Originally Posted by Legs

Sounds about right. Sign here Sir. And here. And just initial here to verify that this signature is actually your signature and not someone else pretending to be you.

Thanks Sir, shall I close the door on my way out?

Yes Legs. Thank you very much. As you were and carry on. Oh and while you are at it could you send my Troop Sgt up I have another good idea. Any chance of tea and biccies?

**Legs** · 05-05-2012, 21:32

Originally Posted by TheFriendlyBomb

Yes Legs. Thank you very much. As you were and carry on. Oh and while you are at it could you send my Troop Sgt up I have another good idea. Any chance of tea and biccies?

Of course Sir. Rimmed or spat in Sir?

By the way, the Troop Sgt is busy running the Exercise you thought up, followed by organising your charity event that came to you in a dream last week, and of course he's still working on the Open Day that you gave him 5 days notice for, as well as the Garrison Sports day you are in charge of. Can it wait until about 1930hrs on Sunday evening. That's the only time he has spare. His wife won't mind I'm sure.