ARmy Rumour SErvice

Originally Posted by Nugger

Just a wild thought, if this website was a Regt, how would it be organised?

Who would be CO, RSM, 2IC, Adj, BC s, BK s, BSM s, TSM s etc?

Who would be the Born Soldier, the Allround Sportsman, the General Dogs-body, the Minger, the Bullshitter, the Jack-cunt, the Yes-man, the Lazy Fucker, the Cad, the Mummys-boy, the Always-Skint-twat, the Permanently-Depressed, the Biff-Chit, the Officers-Matresse, the Arse-Licker, and the eternal Lance-Jack?

What role would the Regt have?

Should I just fuck off to bed?

Well done gnr, nugger i would be the always skint twat.

Originally Posted by Bushmills

Captain Plume, don't mind if we become cavalry but I want a biff chit that excuses me from going within 500m of a horse!

How about marine cavalry? Swimming horses, even THEY don't do that

Gentlemen, please. May I have your breakfast requests handed to Cookie Steve before last orders. I understand that tomorrow's breakfast includes;

A full fuck-off BRITISH breakfast. (Two eggs, a fried slice, two sausages, beans, tinned tomatoes and 'shrooms.)

Aditionally:
Porrage with a dram and Lorne sausages available for Jocks.
Lamb and bara lafwr for Taffs.
Guinness, a brawl and a fag for the Micks.
A boiled egg and soldiers fes to you by Lucrezia for the English.
Gyros und Pommes mit Rot/Weiss for any old BAOR visitors.

ONLY Desperate Dan tea or alcohol for those with the shakes to be served. Coffee's for puffs - only exception is Jarrod.

Newspaper requests and betting slips must be paid for in advance.

Breakast as per Orders earlier will finish slightly earlier at 10:15 to allow a quick debate and vote on the new Regimental drink. CO has approved Friday as Poets Day so there will be a short tasting session after lunch. After lunch special activities must be authorised by Dingerr and Jarrod. N.B. There will be reruns of "The Jeremy Kyle Show" and "A Bridge Too Far". The CO has demanded that the next tv in the Mess must be paid for out of Mess funds after smartascarrots and donmac trashed the previous one during reruns of the Argentina v. England game.

What colour is the blue boat shed going to be, and can we write books when we leave the regiment.

Originally Posted by Forlorn Hope

How about marine cavalry? Swimming horses, even THEY don't do that

Water Polo! The Regimental sport!

Originally Posted by cloudbuster

Have a photograph to keep you going until the real one comes out of the workshop. I'm sorry that it's one of Maintenance Command's crabfat blue ones, but it's all I have on file.

Can you fix the load of Nurses? The ones that do turn up here are a bit clapped out & turn out to be terrible* teases.


*Actually they are very good teases, but they're after doing terrible teasing.

If the regiment is going to be in the non-motorised role I will be the POL Cpl. A difficult job but someone has to do it. (If there are any vehicles then bollox to that job).

I could be the regimental barber which is something I never tried yet but I'm sure I could make the ORs look very useful - by cutting their hair like a cunt.

Originally Posted by HappyNomad

If the regiment is going to be in the non-motorised role I will be the POL Cpl. A difficult job but someone has to do it. (If there are any vehicles then bollox to that job).

Non-motorised? In charge of fuel? Stand by to move a lot of fodder, hope you don't suffer from hay fever...