ARmy Rumour SErvice

**regular_imbiber** · 27-04-2012, 08:25

Now, I've served in HQ UKSC(G) and like to think I've heard a few cracking and trendy buzzphrases in my time but even I can appreciate ones I've never heard before...

This week I attended a pre-HERRICK get-together during which a few guest speakers appeared and I heard the following during their spiels:

"Colonel,I'll stick to "X" if you dont mind; otherwise we might end up going down a few RABBIT- HOLES "

"I was going to discuss "Y" but listening to some of the earlier speakers it would appear that SOMEONE HAS EATEN MY SANDWICHES"

Where do these maniacs get it from?

**hmmm** · 27-04-2012, 09:46

Apparently this morning we were all singing off the same naafi wagon

**Rodney2q** · 27-04-2012, 09:50

Be careful with this thread there is a risk of tangentially spiralling...

Rodney2q

**roninxix** · 27-04-2012, 09:52

What the fuck is Granularity? Why can't these cunts talk plain English. Had to laugh though when a SNCO working in BGHQ tried applying officer words...........the fucking retard.

**geordie-para** · 27-04-2012, 09:55

Experiences	Virtualization	Touchpoints	Targeted	Out Source
Metrics	Deliverable[s]	Braindump	Turnkey	Customer Service
Think Outside the Box	Google Juice	BULLSHIT BINGO (free square)	Critical Path / Issue	Resource[s]
Key Factor / Words	Upside	Compelling	Business Plan	Team Player
Best of Breed	End to end	Wow Factor	At the end of the day	Leadership

**Brotherton Lad** · 27-04-2012, 09:55

Originally Posted by roninxix

What the fuck is Granularity? Why can't these cunts talk plain English. Had to laugh though when a SNCO working in BGHQ tried applying officer words...........the fucking retard.

It's a word from the days of wet film, the size of the crystals on the negative (today you'd talk of how many megapixels).

**roninxix** · 27-04-2012, 09:59

Originally Posted by Brotherton Lad

It's a word from the days of wet film, the size of the crystals on the negative (today you'd talk of how many megapixels).

Understand all that but how does the word fit into being a mission lexicon?

**geordie-para** · 27-04-2012, 09:59

Originally Posted by geordie-para

Experiences	Virtualization	Touchpoints	Targeted	Out Source
Metrics	Deliverable[s]	Braindump	Turnkey	Customer Service
Think Outside the Box	Google Juice	BULLSHIT BINGO (free square)	Critical Path / Issue	Resource[s]
Key Factor / Words	Upside	Compelling	Business Plan	Team Player
Best of Breed	End to end	Wow Factor	At the end of the day	Leadership

I should have explained. Print this off, hand to colleagues and wait for "BULLSHIT!" to be shouted when Lt. Rupert does his crap Powerpoint monologue.

Go to http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/ for more cards. We've had hours of fun humiliating new and nervous Officers.

**1stgulfmac** · 27-04-2012, 10:08

Working for the NHS it gets even better. The latest is Drilling Down on anything from an audit through to a budget, then to a bed occupancy meeting. WTF?

**JT0475** · 27-04-2012, 10:11

They've obviously been watching that rivetting documentary, The Apprentice! Thinking that those sorts of phrases are what are used in everyday business speak and applying said bollox to the military - and not realising that those of us who are now working in the stinking world of business also think that anyone using any phrase or word like that is, in actual fact, an utter twat hiding a lack of experience and knowledge behind said bollox.

Sent from my iPhone using ARRSE so I should probably be working....