ARmy Rumour SErvice

**FourZeroCharlie** · 16-06-2012, 22:25

I have my book. Those of you who do not have THE book are dead to me.

..........however, I have a complaint for the compositors as, clearly, there has been sabotage. I was led to believe that the QUALITY FAMOUS PUBLISHED AUTHOR was a fine figure of Scottish manhood: clear of eye, firm jawed, clean limbed and with all his own teeth. But there, on the jacket, a substitute photo of what can only be described as a posh pikey, a tinker ne'er- do-well who seems to be more than on nodding terms with the Devils Buttermilk.

The QUALITY FAMOUS PUBLISHED AUTHOR(pbuh) must be outraged. Or pissed.

**dhobidust** · 16-06-2012, 22:34

Well I got my book today, the postie even managed to put it through the letter box rather than just dropping a card through for me to collect on monday I have now read said book and my ribs hurt. The rabbit story in particular hahahaha.
Cheers AS a bloody good read that was.

**TheIronDuke** · 17-06-2012, 00:06

Originally Posted by Grownup_Rafbrat

Still no book here. Think the whole thing is an enormous WAH!

Aw, that is a shame pet lamb.

Moving on, how many times have we discussed your church attendance? And the fact that you have problems in your life whilst those of us who attend church on a regular basis do not. Because we are right with Jesus.

Everybody else has got their book. Everybody else attends church on a regular basis.

You have not got your book. You avoid church and tell me Jesus is a load of made-up bollocks to gull The Workers into a false sense of security. Who is laughing now, bookless Heretic Communist?

Tomorrow is Sunday. Do not disappoint me.

**The_Snail** · 17-06-2012, 00:13

Originally Posted by TheIronDuke

Aw, that is a shame pet lamb.

Moving on, how many times have we discussed your church attendance? And the fact that you have problems in your life whilst those of us who attend church on a regular basis do not. Because we are right with Jesus.

Everybody else has got their book. Everybody else attends church on a regular basis.

You have not got your book. You avoid church and tell me Jesus is a load of made-up bollocks to gull The Workers into a false sense of security. Who is laughing now, bookless Heretic Communist?

Tomorrow is Sunday. Do not disappoint me.

Halleyyooujar!

**Auld_Sapper** · 17-06-2012, 02:14

Originally Posted by FourZeroCharlie

I have my book. Those of you who do not have THE book are dead to me.

..........however, I have a complaint for the compositors as, clearly, there has been sabotage. I was led to believe that the QUALITY FAMOUS PUBLISHED AUTHOR was a fine figure of Scottish manhood: clear of eye, firm jawed, clean limbed and with all his own teeth. But there, on the jacket, a substitute photo of what can only be described as a posh pikey, a tinker ne'er- do-well who seems to be more than on nodding terms with the Devils Buttermilk.

The QUALITY FAMOUS PUBLISHED AUTHOR(pbuh) must be outraged. Or pissed.

Fcuk me! How to respond to this thoughtful, well presented and insightful post?! Well, I shall resist the obvious response and just say that,

a. Scottish - Check

b. Clear of eye-Check, well at the mo for sure, but, well fairs fair, there'll probably be some bloodshotedness and batter come the morn.

c.Firm Jawed - Check. Doesn't seem to be that loose but tricky to tell under my Cat Weasel like face fungus.

d.Clean Limbed -Check. Definitely clean of limb and everything else. Had two showers tonight to wash the fcuking half fcuking gallon of fcuking gearbox fcuking oil out of my windswept and flowing fcuking locks that I got dosed with when extracting a fcuking gearbox from a Fiat fucking Punto this afternoon.

e.Teeth -Check. I'll have you know that every tooth in my head is my own. OK?

f.The Rest - You never did meet any Wagtails, Groundhogs or Snappers in real life did you? Your description in the last part of your post would be accepted as downright flattery by anyone I served with in the ADU.

aaaaannnnddddddd now!? You can fcuk off!!

Enjoy the book.

REgards Rab.

Ubique ya bass !

PS. My hair always looked really smart. When I was wearing my bone dome!!

PPS Why the fcuk did Badges from the units we worked with not like us? Cnuts! Obviously!

PPPS or PSSS?! The QUALITY FAMOUS PUBLISHED AUTHOR is most definateley not outraged!! But...HIC!!!

**johnboyzzz** · 17-06-2012, 06:30

Originally Posted by Auld_Sapper

e.Teeth -Check. I'll have you know that every tooth in my head is my own. Ok?

Paid for by your ill-gotten gains

No need to thank me

**Buttmaster General** · 17-06-2012, 07:43

Originally Posted by Auld_Sapper

<snip>
e.Teeth -Check. I'll have you know that every tooth in my head is my own. OK?

<snip>

So those denti-stick/doggie-chew things they advertise on the telly work OK then?

**smartascarrots** · 17-06-2012, 11:11

Originally Posted by TheIronDuke

Everybody else has got their book. Everybody else attends church on a regular basis.

I've got mine and I don't go to church at all.

I sacrifice chickens.

**Grownup_Rafbrat** · 17-06-2012, 11:26

Originally Posted by TheIronDuke

Aw, that is a shame pet lamb.

Moving on, how many times have we discussed your church attendance? And the fact that you have problems in your life whilst those of us who attend church on a regular basis do not. Because we are right with Jesus.

Everybody else has got their book. Everybody else attends church on a regular basis.

You have not got your book. You avoid church and tell me Jesus is a load of made-up bollocks to gull The Workers into a false sense of security. Who is laughing now, bookless Heretic Communist?

Tomorrow is Sunday. Do not disappoint me.

Trouble with your instructions, Mr. The Duke, is that there isn't enough time in the day to love ALL my neighbours and go to church as well.

Thank heavens it's only a small village, but all this loving is very tiring you know.