ARmy Rumour SErvice

Originally Posted by Pigshyt_Freeman

To be fair, it's no more unlikely than your tales of yourself and family being set upon by dogs every time you venture out of doors.

It's very likely that the tails (see what I did there) are true, all predators prey on the weak and disorientated, in all likelihood, dogs see gasping runners and spandex, poo pushing cyclists weaving and wobbling along as prey animals, easy mistake to make.

A dog running into my legs whilst I'm out running or dogs jumping up on people uninvited is, I'm sure you'd agree, fairly plausible. I don't know many people who haven't had a dog jump up at them.

However, I have yet to meet someone who was still recovering from a pit bull attack when their door was kicked in during the small hours, a group of masked policemen with their numbers covered entered their room, said, "we're the police and we love dogs and despite you a) being the victim in all of this and b) us having processed your complaint, vengeance will be ours" and then hold down the victim and insert an ice pick into their spine, moving it around until all the nerves in the spinal chord were severed.

I'm just saying I've never heard of this. That's not to say that it hasn't happened.

But it hasn't.

Originally Posted by PVR-Please

It's very likely that the tails (see what I did there) are true, all predators prey on the weak and disorientated, in all likelihood, dogs see gasping runners and spandex, poo pushing cyclists weaving and wobbling along as prey animals, easy mistake to make.

Possibly the lesser breeds. My own hound would not sully his jaws with a jogger or bicyclist, preferring to bite the heads off foxes and to snatch passing pigeons out of the air.

Although to be fair, 20 mins ago two traffic wardens wearing dark glasses and false moustaches did walk into my office and tell me that unless I recognised the right of dogs and their owners to do whatever the fuck they fancy they would let down my bike tyres.

Apparently if I don't heed their warning some park wardens will key my car (across three panels to increase the cost of repair). If I still refuse to allow dogs to shit everywhere and bother those minding their own business then three special constables will drill through my ankles.

The next stop is some off duty traffic police cutting through my spine at the small of my back with an as of yet unspecified power tool.

The final sanction? Seven enraged parking attendants lowering me and my family into an acid bath.

Does that give you wood, Dicey?

Are you going to pause for a minute or two to wipe the foam off your lips, or just keep going till you have an aneurysm?

The message is simple. If you have a dog and love it, and dont want it injured, keep it under control. The right to self defence is the same whether I am assaulted by you or your dog. So if your "lovely puppy, he's just playing" attempts to bite me, you can be absolutely certain that I will give it a swift kick in the face and that you will be legally liable for prosecution for not controlling your dog in a public place, NOT me liable for your vet bills. And I am an animal lover, not anti-dog at all.

If you walk your dog in public, keep it on a lead. Obviously, common sense applies if out in the sticks but, if in doubt, use the lead.

As an aside, it is generally NOT the big dogs that non-dog owners tend to villainise that are the issue. It is the small, terrier type dogs that cause most problems. Jack Russels being top of the list.

Originally Posted by verticalgyro

Keep going, only proving my point for me. An ad hominem attack on me for speaking an uncomfortable truth.

I don't think that pointing out that a person is beginning to rave rather than argue, constitutes an 'ad-hominem' attack. An ad hominem attack is when someone says something like this:

Originally Posted by verticalgyro

Dog owners, as exemplified on this very thread, are a proper bunch of cunts.

Originally Posted by verticalgyro

your seeming inability to reasonably defend why you think its fine to let your dog shit everywhere and eat small babies. You cunt.

He shits in fields and eats small baby rabbits. He shits in parks and I pick it up whilst he eats small baby squirrels. He once curled out a magnificent heap in the middle of the lawn of a Bishop's Palace and then bit the head off a baby fox.

Why I have to defend any of that is a mystery.