Useful

**spike7451** · 08-02-2012, 17:51

Originally Posted by Herrumph

I bet the miserable old bigot has demanded that his coffin is paraded around some traditional old (catholic inhabited) routes.

Aren't funeral corteges exempt Parade Commission rulings?

I remember seeing Paisley snr preaching to the masses (well about 30 kids) in the car park opposite Bangor bus station in the 70's,he was standing on the back of a coal truck...maybe if he does kick,a fitting cortage for him....

**skid2** · 08-02-2012, 18:11

Gervaghy Road. Kill two birds with one stone?

**fairy_nuff** · 08-02-2012, 20:52

Originally Posted by HHH

Yes I have him!

Sent from my iPhone using my ARRSE

Have you well done at what odds?

**Little Militia Boy** · 08-02-2012, 22:05

Originally Posted by DavidBOC

does anyone know of hell has frozen over

No, that would be impossible because apparently it's exothermic. It's all a question of physics.

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound"
that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up
when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote
the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the
rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go
to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan
during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not
freeze."
The student received the only "A" given.

**stacker1** · 08-02-2012, 22:20

Originally Posted by Little Militia Boy

No, that would be impossible because apparently it's exothermic. It's all a question of physics.

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound"
that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Amusing but sadly not true

snopes.com: Endothermic or Exothermic?

**A_Knocker_Till_The_End** · 08-02-2012, 22:28

Reverend Ian Paisley has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He was recently seen marching up Shankhill Road shouting "NO REMEMBER!"

**samain11** · 08-02-2012, 22:59

Originally Posted by spike7451

I remember seeing Paisley snr preaching to the masses (well about 30 kids) in the car park opposite Bangor bus station in the 70's,he was standing on the back of a coal truck...maybe if he does kick,a fitting cortage for him....

I saw one of his gigs at Coleraine, have to admit he was pretty noisy (without a PA!), could have been trained up as a reasonable drill pig.

**CutLunchCommando** · 08-02-2012, 23:05

Originally Posted by Showmi_York-Hunt

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he has to answer for his 'fuck the Pope and the virgin Mary' attitude to the son of the lady in question and the fella that knocked her up!

What are we saying here, that the Free Presbyterian Church denies the virgin birth?

**weekend_worrier** · 08-02-2012, 23:10

Originally Posted by DavidBOC

I never thought I would see they day that Martin McGuinness would be calling for prayers for Lord Bannside (nee Big Ian)

I'm not surprised. If Paisley carks it McGuinness and all the other Provies will be mourning the loss of the best recruiting agent the IRA ever had.

**weekend_worrier** · 08-02-2012, 23:12

Originally Posted by Showmi_York-Hunt

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he has to answer for his 'fuck the Pope and the virgin Mary' attitude to the son of the lady in question and the fella that knocked her up!

Well there's enough awkwardness in heaven already ...

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