ARmy Rumour SErvice

My grandfather died at Auschwitch so I don't find your comments funny..........

........he was pissed one night, fell out of his watchtower and broke his neck. Granny never got over it.

VM

Boom tisch here all week folks!

I had a piss beside Billy Connolly in The Albion hotel, Glasgae in about 1975 after the Thin Lizzy gig.
I had a piss beside Vic Reeves at a service station on the way to Donington 1985.
My mum met Neil Armstrong at LHR in the Pan-Am First Class lounge and got me his autograph.
At the Monsters Of Rock ’87 I watched Lemmy in a diagonally opposite hotel bedroom trying to get laid. I knew his room number and phoned him and told him to “Hurry the feck up!”
TSO moves in airy circles and is always dropping names of thespians…. Zzzz, but I do have to show interest or get beaten.
I met Rita Marley once – what a beautiful woman.
Matthew Modine (Joker - Full Metal Jacket) gave me a cigar when his kid was born. I was with my flatmate who had a part in the filum. I hate cigars.
I stood in line to use the cashpoint at NatWest in Reigate and in front of me was the drummer from The Who – not Keith Moon, the other one. I didn’t see his balance though.
In Germany the in-laws came to visit and I picked them up from the Hilton. I got into the lift with Snoop Doggy Dawg. Only he could look cool eating chocolate cake in a lift in The fatherland.
I discussed fish with Tico Torres out of Bon Jovi at the fishmongers in the Viktualienmarkt in Munich.
My eldest was born in the room beside where Fleming discovered the wonders of Penicillin . I’ve never told her how it saved my knob from rotting away.
I took the Auld_Yin and TSO to lunch in Edinburgh last year. What a nice chap, tho’ he “disnae” drink anymore.
Krusher Joules babysat for me when I took the ex out for a birthday dinner. He was brilliant at the job.
… enough about me!

Originally Posted by Veggie-Megalodon

My grandmother whilst looking like the sweetest old lady possible was also a rabid Nazi and lived in Berlin prior to and during the early part of the war. She 'dated' a number of high ranking officials (she dropped numerous hints) and kept referring to Adolph as Herr Hitler. As she got more and more senile the mask slipped even more and she often referrred to him as The Fuhrer! We dreaded the opening of her will - mortified that she was going to demand being buried in a swastika draped coffin with a Messchersmitt flypast. Ironically she left no instructions so we had her cremated

V-M

She would have been Jackbooting around with her arm stuck out if she had been around to see this no doubt; this is what I call a really dubious claim to fame.

Philippe Loret and his six siblings were sitting around the dining room table chatting about everyday things when their father, Jean-Marie, broke the news.
‘Suddenly my father said, “Kids, I’ve got something to tell you. Your grandfather is Adolf Hitler,” ’ explains Philippe. ‘There was stunned silence as no one knew what to say. We didn’t know how to react.’
That was 40 years ago, yet there is a sense that Philippe, 56, still doesn’t know how to react. He has never spoken out about that conversation or the fact he may be the grandson of the most infamous dictator in history. A former plumber for the French air force, he has kept it a secret from all but his closest friends, never telling his colleagues or even his partner’s family.
This is the first time Philippe has talked publicly about his ancestry and he has agreed to do so only in the light of new evidence backing up his father’s story.


Read more: 'I believe I am Hitler's grandson': French plumber tells his astonishing family story... and produces a chilling photo of his father | Mail Online

Originally Posted by Negligent-Discharge

I stood in line to use the cashpoint at NatWest in Reigate and in front of me was the drummer from The Who – not Keith Moon, the other one. I didn’t see his balance though.

My eldest was born in the room beside where Fleming discovered the wonders of Penicillin . I’ve never told her how it saved my knob from rotting away.

Once when using the cashpoint near the office I swore out loud and heard a deep throated laugh behind me. It was Marianne Faithfull. Lovely lady.

The student who first administered penicillin under Fleming's guidance was a friend of my ex in laws.

Did a recording session for BBC Radio 4 in 1990 celebrating the life of Peter Warlock.

Part of the recording was done on the cricket pitch at Hambledon in Hampshire.

The Musical Director was Fred Tomlinson who is more famous for writing The Lumberjack Song and other assorted Monty Python stuff.

A truly miserable stuck up cunt with a huge chip on his shoulder about coming from Lancashire*.

*Where I was also born.

Two unwelcome radio interviews and the Press, after long hauls on England's hard and grassy paths in the name of charidee. A short interview on Radio Devon, aired before anyone got out of bed one morning. My stupidest ideas, apart from getting hitched to a gherkin munching tyrant queen, twenty years ago. A casual acquaintance with Johnny Kingdom. And thinking my past qualifies me to help catering businesses from a web site. Time for the Mess Webley.

I once stood behind Gordon Ramsey in a service-station queue on the M6. He never swore once.