Originally Posted by ScouseD

Amongst the little collection of replies I received is one from Ronnie Reagan just after he’d stood down from being the president of some minor republic or other. The letter I got back was typed, but was not only a genuine reply to what I’d said rather than the usual generic reply, but was signed in his scrawly handwriting. Even better, and somewhat oddly I thought, he’d written my address on the rather grand presidential envelope himself. He got my address partially wrong, put a line though it and wrote it again. I’ve seen his signature go for over £500 on EBay and I’m told a personal reply is worth much more. Cheers, Ron, me old mucker.

There is one hopeful bod trying to flog one on eBay now, starting bid is $5,000 and the 'Buy it now' is $10,000 which is perhaps stretching it a bit, but it's got some value.

RONALD REAGAN - AUTHENTIC HAND WRITTEN AUTOGRAPH LETTER SIGNED | eBay

Pity you never bothered your lazy arrse to drop Bill Shakespeare a line, because if he'd bothered his busy arrse to reply, you'd be deffo minted.

5 Most Expensive Signature in the World | Unique Interesting Facts

Some more dubious than others:

Ernest Bevin was my adopted maternal great-uncle

I've been told to "piss off" by Geoff Boycott (but who hasn't?)

I've jammed with Steve Mariott

and (my proudest moment) I've been escorted out of Leningrad (as was) at gunpoint by the KGB

Originally Posted by Badger_Heed

You've hit the mother lode on your literary prowess.

I wrote letters (on the request of a rather keen RSM) to over a hundred companies in the Aldershot area begging for freebie items to raise money in a charity raffle.

After a couple of weeks of mail watching I received a two scarves, a bobble hat, some car stickers, a £5.00 voucher for crisps and a lovely letter from Tescos stating that they had already reached their charitable total for the year.

Those Bosnian orphans still hate me to this day.

When I put my mind to it, can be bothered to check my grammar and spelling, and find myself disturbingly sober I can write the most elegant of begging letters.

A little off topic (more of a pun than people realise), my dad told me about a trick that he did in his National Service days and I did the same in training. I wrote letters to all sorts of companies, or at least their brand names (often the same company).

On the understanding that we chipped in for the stamps and paper I wrote to Mars, The Beano (we were 16), Daz, Omo, Smiths Crisps, the OXO cube people and choccy bar companies and everyone else we could think of. The basic letter was “we’re a young bunch of soldiers in training and we don’t have much spare money. We’ve looked around the NAAFI for bargains and agree that your <insert product here> allows us a little more for our hard earned cash. We’d just like to say thanks and please keep up the good work!"

With any luck a huge box would arrive about a week later containing all sorts of goodies, mostly edible. Looking back about a quarter of the companies sent something. We feasted, and we feasted well. Strangely, the Farleys Rusks went down very well.

It’s an old trick and perhaps they probably knew it (and although it wasn’t so long ago there was a lot more understanding of those serving in those days), but ever after I sang up the praises of the companies that bothered to reply. I hope their kindness was rewarded.

The Topic people? Let’s just say I always said Mars Bars were nicer, even if I didn’t quite believe it.

Originally Posted by Arte_et_Marte

There is one hopeful bod trying to flog one on eBay now, starting bid is $5,000 and the 'Buy it now' is $10,000 which is perhaps stretching it a bit, but it's got some value.

RONALD REAGAN - AUTHENTIC HAND WRITTEN AUTOGRAPH LETTER SIGNED | eBay

Pity you never bothered your lazy arrse to drop Bill Shakespeare a line, because if he'd bothered his busy arrse to reply, you'd be deffo minted.

5 Most Expensive Signature in the World | Unique Interesting Facts

Sadly Bill Shaky wimped out and pegged it long before I could write to him, but Tropper probably knew him and helped out a bit with his stories and poems. Who can ever forget “to be, or not to be shot by your platoon in Belfast? There’s lovely, isn’t it?”.

I’d heard that Ronnie’s signature had risen, but without putting the letter (and all important mis-spelled envelope) on Ebay I’d no way of finding out if it was worth more than I’d found out a good few years back. I’m hardly loaded, but I liked the personal touch in the letter and so won’t sell just yet. When I do I’ll buy you a pint for the update on its worth

Originally Posted by ScouseD

Sadly Bill Shaky wimped out and pegged it long before I could write to him, but Tropper probably knew him and helped out a bit with his stories and poems. Who can ever forget “to be, or not to be shot by your platoon in Belfast? There’s lovely, isn’t it?”.

I’d heard that Ronnie’s signature had risen, but without putting the letter (and all important mis-spelled envelope) on Ebay I’d no way of finding out if it was worth more than I’d found out a good few years back. I’m hardly loaded, but I liked the personal touch in the letter and so won’t sell just yet. When I do I’ll buy you a pint for the update on its worth

That'd be grand. Never say no to a free pint, it's just rude, and that'd be one of my dubious claims to fame. To whit:

"I was once bought a pint by a bloke who sold a Ronald Ray Gun letter to a rich mentalist on eBay"

Ace.


Edited to add.

Shit, I just noticed 3000 post anniversary, I suppose that's me in the pub at lunchtime then.

Originally Posted by Arte_et_Marte

That'd be grand. Never say no to a free pint, it's just rude, and that'd be one of my dubious claims to fame. To whit:

"I was once bought a pint by a bloke who sold a Ronald Ray Gun letter to a rich mentalist on eBay"

Ace.


Edited to add.

Shit, I just noticed 3000 post anniversary, I suppose that's me in the pub at lunchtime then.

I need to catch the St Ronnie Tea Party at their most frenzied to maximise the price, but the pint is yours regardless and will bought with a friendly nod and knowing smile.

What I really wanted to say was congrats on the occasion of your 3000’th post. If there was any justice in this world you would already have been awarded a shiny gong, like what that bloke in the trunks off MGM or whatever the fillum company was called that made out he was banging it with his stick. It was huge. I liked it when it started a Norman Wisdom fillum.

Oh, on thread… I’m bezzers with the person that wrote the two leading musical harmony books in the UK. She’s got a house bigger than Canada and owns an impressive stretch of river. She’s dead posh and like all proper posh people not in the least stuck up.

Rank?

Originally Posted by cloudbuster

Rank?

No she isn’t. Despite her advanced age she’s still charming.

I'll set 'em up, you bang them in...................

Originally Posted by Hector_Chavez_V

They could have been Beyonces but I wouldnt swap for the pair of red, slightly stained size 6 lingerie an Irish bird owned, I had a fabulous wank, one where I howled like a viagra drenched lowland Guerilla.

I was lucky enough to blag a place on an adventure training expedition to the Grand Canyon a few years ago.

Obviously the "adventure" part was fucked right off and we ended up in Las Vegas, cementing Anglo american relationships via the medium of alcohol and steak dinners.

One of our lads managed to get horizontal with one of the Irish dancing girls from Michael Flatly's, Lord Of The Dance show which was doing the American circuit at the time.

After the filthy deed had been done, the Irish whore departed sans her underwear which was left in the hotel room. These pants were proudly brought out the next morning while the whole exercising team were present at breakfast and we all viewed the white G string with jealousy and a twinge in our bobby's helmets.

That is until we also decided to give them a cheeky sniff - they were fucking honking! Alas there was no stainage present but the smell of funky urine and ass musk was enough to temper my erection from titanium type properties to that of mere mild steel.

I had to temper my disappointment with repeated trips to Cheetahs lap dancing emporium just off the main Vegas strip and spitting phlegm onto passer-bys from the roller-coaster on top of the Stratosphere tower.