Benny Hill did a brilliant sketch with Bob Todd lampooning Fanny & Johnny; "Fun in the Kitchen with Johnny and Cranny Faddock". Unfortunately I can't find the clip but suffice to say it featured Bob Todd appearing from under the table as pissed as a rat.

From a long remembered "I'm sorry I havent a Clue episode", uttered by the great Humph, himself:

"Today, everything on TV is celebrity-driven, of course. I even notice on my pack of breakfast sausages, there's a picture of Antony Worrall Thompson.
Underneath it says "prick with a fork".

Originally Posted by Porridge_gun

I wonder if its a scalp on Werewolfs utility belt?

Originally Posted by Ravers

Oh come on, who hasn't walked out of Tesco with a bag of free shopping after getting pissed off with that fucking machine?

''Unexpected item in bagging area.''

Boils my fucking piss that, happens to me every time, to compound the misery the evidently brain damaged mong at Sainsburys Piccadilly actually gives me a withering look as if to say 'it's not hard sir'..

Miffed of Salford Quays

Celeb chefs?

Antonio Carluccio although grumpy, was most interested in wild mushrooms and paid me very well for a car load of giant puffballs (not a euphemism) which I had noticed grew in huge amounts in a set of fields close to where I walked the dog every morning. I know he made a big profit on selling them on, but it was certainly worth my while.

Pierre White? I ate at one of his restaurants and it was a regular occasion to see him fly out of the kitchen if anyone said anything negative regarding the food. The food was superb, and I had no complaints, but I was desperately wanting to find something wrong with the food just to have Marco rant at me.

I'm a foodie and have been for years, and way back, I paid to go on a cookery course conducted by Anton Mosimann. He is a gentleman and had a very kind manner about him, but very certain about his intents and standards. Very certain indeed. Just the simple word "No" followed by his short comments about what was wrong was enough to make you want to start again from the beginning. No bullying necessary. His leadership skills need a chapter to describe. He doesn't need to scream and shout obscenities to get the best out of anyone.

"Welcome to Celebrity Ready Steady Cook. So Anthony Worral Thompson you had £5 to spend...what's in your bag?"

"Organic chicken, 2 lobsters, langoustines, rice, chicken stock, wine, scallops, onions, garlic, stilton, brie, goat's cheese, 3 bottles of Cava and a bottle of Blue Nun and I have £2.74 left over..!!!!"

Originally Posted by fozzy

From a long remembered "I'm sorry I havent a Clue episode", uttered by the great Humph, himself:

"Today, everything on TV is celebrity-driven, of course. I even notice on my pack of breakfast sausages, there's a picture of Antony Worrall Thompson.
Underneath it says "prick with a fork".

Very close,but no cigar.

The sad thing is that Tropper really did get banned from Tesco first, and all because of a self check out too!

Originally Posted by vvaannmmaann

Very close,but no cigar.

Ainsley Harriott?