ARmy Rumour SErvice

[QUOTE=toffeewrapper1;4419628]Oh ye of little faith! Or do you know more than us mere mortals?[/QUOTE]

Monty' piss is still fizzing from the first time he tried my home brewed ginger beer :)

While myself and a colleague were sitting on a thieving twat who got a bit fighty and had to be chastised. I spotted these fine pair of Hippos.

So I got out my crappy xperia and zoomed in, we sat chatting away as the scrote grumbled away beneath us about his "Ooomin rights" occasionally shifting my weight so that my bony arse dug into him better. Wondering if the child was theirs or if they would eat it.
Daddy hippo then spotted me pointing the phone and was not a happy hippo.

Fortunately the beast didn't charge us as the female hippo got its attention with a snack. Though he did have whinge as we passed and called me a cunt. I reallllly upset him when he asked why I took the pic and I told him I had to or no one would believe me when I described him.
I offered to delete the pic, all he had to do was beat me in a quick race up the street round the fountain and back, maybe 300m tops. He just glared, offered a sporting chance and turned it down. Luckily he didn't think to challenge me to a sumo match.
All in all, I've been an utter cunt today, and enjoyed myself.

Pissed up Pole at side of the road, unfortunately I was unable to hang around as I was on my way home and see his reaction when he awoke to find his cider poured away and replaced with tap water. The other 2 tins I chucked over the grass across the road. Little bit of revenge taken as he'd been a pain in the arse all day, had to move him on 4 times.

Originally Posted by Kirkz

Monty' piss is still fizzing from the first time he tried my home brewed ginger beer

Ooooo,sounds lovely.I think.Not the fizzy piss,the ginger beer(felt the need to clarify that)

Originally Posted by Sinner251

While myself and a colleague were sitting on a thieving twat who got a bit fighty and had to be chastised. I spotted these fine pair of Hippos.

So I got out my crappy xperia and zoomed in, we sat chatting away as the scrote grumbled away beneath us about his "Ooomin rights" occasionally shifting my weight so that my bony arse dug into him better. Wondering if the child was theirs or if they would eat it.
Daddy hippo then spotted me pointing the phone and was not a happy hippo.

Fortunately the beast didn't charge us as the female hippo got its attention with a snack. Though he did have whinge as we passed and called me a cunt. I reallllly upset him when he asked why I took the pic and I told him I had to or no one would believe me when I described him.
I offered to delete the pic, all he had to do was beat me in a quick race up the street round the fountain and back, maybe 300m tops. He just glared, offered a sporting chance and turned it down. Luckily he didn't think to challenge me to a sumo match.
All in all, I've been an utter cunt today, and enjoyed myself.

Pissed up Pole at side of the road, unfortunately I was unable to hang around as I was on my way home and see his reaction when he awoke to find his cider poured away and replaced with tap water. The other 2 tins I chucked over the grass across the road. Little bit of revenge taken as he'd been a pain in the arse all day, had to move him on 4 times.

Why didn't you just offer him a job sitting on captured chavs.

'Here boy. Sit.'

[QUOTE=toffeewrapper1;4419660]Ooooo,sounds lovely.I think.Not the fizzy piss,the ginger beer(felt the need to clarify that)[/QUOTE]

Joker uses it to strip the burned bit's off the BBQ :thumright:

Originally Posted by Monty417

Why didn't you just offer him a job sitting on captured chavs.

'Here boy. Sit.'

You sir are a genius. When the plod turn up to remove the miscreant, (assuming it hasn't been suffocated), the "portable restraint facility" would need a fork lift to get it back on it's feet. So that's another poor soul off the dole to drive the fork lift and another one to act as banksman. Keep these good ideas coming, we'll solve the unemployment problem in no time at this rate .

Originally Posted by Monty417

Why didn't you just offer him a job sitting on captured chavs.

'Here boy. Sit.'

Who the Hippo or the pissed Pole? If the former that would be classed as an execution.

Originally Posted by toffeewrapper1

Ooooo,sounds lovely.I think.Not the fizzy piss,the ginger beer(felt the need to clarify that)

It hurts the next day. The head, not the piss.