ARmy Rumour SErvice

**bigbird67** · 22-10-2011, 15:08

I have a question which has puzzled me for a long time! I've been pondering it for...oooh...a good 10 minutes now. You'se lot are meant to be dead clever and know important shit so I'll ask you.

My neighbour, an ageing porridge wog, grows his own veg and has recently given myself and my housemate a huge pumpkin or two, so we've had pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie, curried pumpkin, bacon and pumpkin rissotto etc etc. Now, given that I'm a heifer and she has IBS, you can imagine we have made a fairly significant input to global warming of late. And by FUCK, they're rancid! Even the cat gave us a look of horrified disdain and left the room last night!

But what I want to know is this...

Why does the presence of water cause such a dramatic change in the smell of farts? Bathtime farts have a smell all of their own, but this morning I noticed that even letting rip in the shower smells different!

Can one of you boffs explain to me what happens to a botty-guff as it passes through water to cause this? Muchly grassy-arse

**eodmatt** · 22-10-2011, 15:12

It's the hydrogen sulfide in your fart reacting with the chlorine in the water.

**Arte_et_Marte** · 22-10-2011, 15:16

There is even a website on the subject. (well there would be wouldnt there..)

Facts on Farts

This is my favourite.

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_u...?v=nOwvmZSVrNU

**KE=MV2** · 22-10-2011, 15:20

farts no shit, simple really.

**The_IRON** · 22-10-2011, 15:30

You have explained one thing though BB, theres been an increase of Tsunami warnings since you started eating the pumpkins.

**bobj** · 22-10-2011, 15:48

Originally Posted by Arte_et_Marte

There is even a website on the subject. (well there would be wouldnt there..)

Facts on Farts

This is my favourite.

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_u...?v=nOwvmZSVrNU

Great bit of research Arte et Marte. This is what I miss, the squaddie sense of humour.

bobj

**Ancient_Mariner** · 22-10-2011, 17:10

Originally Posted by eodmatt

It's the hydrogen sulfide in your fart reacting with the chlorine in the water.

WTF!

Does that mean that by breaching her own emission control policy, Big Bird now farts hydrochloric acid?

Dear god! This isn't a thread. It's the script for the next film in the Alien franchise.

Do you think Sigourney Weaver will pork up to play Big Bird?

**The_IRON** · 22-10-2011, 17:17

Originally Posted by Ancient_Mariner

WTF!

Do you think Sigourney Weaver will pork up to play Big Bird?

They need a chance to pile the pounds on to get up to BBs standard so someone like Dawn French has the initial foundations.

**ex_colonial** · 22-10-2011, 17:37

Originally Posted by bobj

Great bit of research Arte et Marte. This is what I miss, the squaddie sense of humour.

bobj

Yes we used to have Fart Lighting contests in our mess, especially if we had curry the night before with lots of Castle! It was interesting to see the size & colour of the different flames, the good thing was, once ignited the smell dissapeared!

As My grandad used to say:-
"I likes to Fart, it gives the belly ease, warms the bed on frosty nights and suffocates the fleas"

**jim24** · 22-10-2011, 18:48

As I have just necked a Leg of Lamb five bean Casoulet. I'm expecting a similar problem in the near future, but I foolishly let the dogs do the washing up so it looks like a day out tomorrow or complaints from the neighbours about the stench, or a visit from theWMD inspectorate