- 06-05-2011, 08:48 #11Night time is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep. ~Catherine O'Hara
RayC is a pig fucker.RayCbums goats.RayCsuckshorses. Earth is RayC's sockpuppet and P.Maitra is a fat goat sucker.
- 06-05-2011, 09:04 #12
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Gdsm George, undoubtedly the dumbest but nicest bloke I ever met, even had a fucker of a stutter just to top it off. Recruiting must have been bad when they let him in...... then again "I" got in so...Civvy's SHIT EM!
- 06-05-2011, 09:07 #13
Grumblegrunt, sadly the Scorpion is no more. A bright shiny Lidl store stands in its place.
- 06-05-2011, 09:17 #14
Should be a thread about stupid Ruperts...The term bugle originates from the French word bugleret, which was derived from the Latin buculus, meaning young bull.
- 06-05-2011, 09:18 #15
Bloke in Traz, not very bright and not very clean. Someone fucked up the spelling of his surname in training, which continued throughout his career, he even had name tags and MOD90 spelled wrong, It wasn't until about half way through his career when someone was checking his passport pre-deployment that it the spelling mistake was spotted. When asked why he'd been going around under the wrong name, he said "I didn't want to say anything"QRM - 5
Sent from my DII account cos I'm too busy skiving
- 06-05-2011, 09:21 #16
Gunner Something - joined the Battery while we were on ex in a Fire Support Base, so came out on a ration truck. Helps the Q Bloke unload the grub from the Unimog, and then doesn't stand back as the tailgate is lifted closed - BFO tailgate smashes him under chin - out like a light - loaded straight back onto truck for (unconscious) return to barracks.
Cue three days later - (The by now slightly infamous) Gunner Something returns on the same truck. Battery is in a Fire Mission, so he stands unnoticed in front of a gun bund - oh ah - Bang. Thud. Knocked unconscious by the blast - once again loaded back onto the Q truck for return to barracks.
Thicker than two short planks ever after, but nobody was ever sure if it was a result of the repeated knock outs or not.
- 06-05-2011, 09:29 #17
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- The Isle of Innisfree
Ah, reminds me of a Trooper in the Skins many years ago. We were deploying to Soltau for Troop Training one February with snow on the ground, in a winter so cold we were brought in from the exercise because the fuel started to emulsify in the Panzers. Said Trooper was standing on parade in his covvies, shivering away. The Troop Sergeant suggested he got some warm kit out & seeing that he only had webbing with him told him to double away to the wagon to get his kit.
“Kit, Sergeant,” came the reply. “I haven’t got any other kit, didn’t think I’d need any”.
Poor lad had proposed to deploy on Exercise for three weeks in a German winter in the clothes he stood up in (covvies, boots, T-shirt & Beret) and hadn’t even put a sleeping bag in. Goes to show that even trained Soldiers need the odd kit check…To eat well in England one must have breakfast three times a day
London: its "buzz" and "vibrancy"... can be codewords for drugs, late-night noise and multi-culturalism run (literally) riot.
- 06-05-2011, 09:42 #18
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
Jesus Christ so many to chose from
Pte Grady (no longer serving) buys a TV and video recorder on the never never from whatever was before Brighthouse. Tells us all how great the insurance is because it would pay out should he find himself in circumstances unable to pay, to anyone else on the planet that would mean if you lost your job, to Grady it meant if he wanted to go out on the piss instead of paying for the TV the insurance will help him out.
In phase two training I always thought this was a Stacker urban myth, but I have on several occasions witnessed various buffoons get an order for X metres of rope or cable only for them to cut it into one metre lengths. Amusing when I was a tom not so amusing when I was running the issue section.
Ever done the 10/20 pound trick where you put it on someones arm and put a lighter to it? If it burns through they get to keep the money? 3 weekends in a row Pte Gordon (not serving) ended up in the med centre with burns, his excuse was eventully he'll get a note thats not fireproof.
- 06-05-2011, 09:49 #19
Leonard. "What've you written on you flask, Leonard?"
"It's me name, boss."
"It says Lednard."
"Oh shite."The sand of the desert is sodden red-
Red with the wreck of the square that broke
The gatling's jammed and the colonel dead,
And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.
The river of death has brimmed its banks,
And England's far, and Honour a name,
But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks-
"Play up! Play up! And play the game!"
- 06-05-2011, 09:53 #20
1) Surrey. Learning drill on the square. Fat bird suddenly marches off. I enquire "politely" where the feck she's off to. "I'm just going to the toilet."
2) Squaddie on stag using his torch "to look for the bad guys" - thankfully it was an exercise.
3) Same exercise, different Squaddie. Seen lighting his Hexe and putting his water bottle on it.
4) Same Squaddie. Endless hours of fun watching it light the Hexe and then go looking for the Jerry can and returning to find Hexe out.- Si dubitas, fuge.