ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Monty417** · 10-03-2012, 12:58

Originally Posted by Nurse Ratched

I have had cats all my life. At the moment I have one cat but feels like four. He is thoroughly spoilt, handsome, cute and I would run through fire for him. He has destroyed curtains, settees, skin, pride and dignity but I love him to bits. He has his own beds and blankets round the house as well as our bed and his choice of settee seat. In the 5+ years we have had him I can count on one hand how many undisturbed nights I have had. He has been my constant companion when I have been left alone whilst the other half has been on deployments. He's the most photographed cat in the country and I wouldn't change a thing about him

Will you be posting a pic or two?

**Nurse Ratched** · 10-03-2012, 13:10

Yup, Got dozens to wade through and pick out. I know you will all be riveted waiting to see him!

**Nurse Ratched** · 14-03-2012, 14:14

Here's a little cat ditty you may know, taught to me by my father

Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles,
Cats with syphillis, cats with piles,
Cats with their faces all wreathed in smiles
As they frolic with their bollocks in the morning

I thank you

**CrashTestDummy** · 14-03-2012, 14:16

Thought the last lines went;

As they revel in the joys of fornication.

**Nurse Ratched** · 14-03-2012, 14:20

This was the southern version but both endings are good

**TheFriendlyBomb** · 14-03-2012, 18:50

Think it's time to show my little gang.
Name: Felix 3.jpg
Views: 652
Size: 80.0 KB

Felix

Name: IMG_7181.jpg
Views: 637
Size: 19.1 KB

Thor (Recent addition and current contender for cutest)

Name: Photo-0019.jpg
Views: 643
Size: 57.4 KB

Meep AKA The Squeak as she has no meow as such and will just squeak at you!
Name: Photo-0013.jpg
Views: 641
Size: 69.7 KB

Dave AKA Tigger but she won't respond to anything but Dave. All of them are mad in various ways, have no concept of danger, will steal food if your not quick enough and are spoilt rotten!

**spike7451** · 14-03-2012, 19:27

Very cute kitties TFB,You've got a right handful there!

**TheFriendlyBomb** · 14-03-2012, 20:09

Thanks Spike! They are a handful but brilliant none the less and they are all rescues in one way or another. I must admit that I can't say no and that's why I have Dave and Meep cause if I didn't take them they would have ended up at the end of a needle. Felix was saved from my ex-girlfriend when we split up cause she treated him like shit and Thor was taken in cause no-one wanted him and his Mum rejected him. Come to think of it if I hadn't taken them all they wouldn't be around I'm pretty glad I did even when they steal the ham from my sarnie!

**spike7451** · 14-03-2012, 20:24

Originally Posted by TheFriendlyBomb

Thanks Spike! They are a handful but brilliant none the less and they are all rescues in one way or another. I must admit that I can't say no and that's why I have Dave and Meep cause if I didn't take them they would have ended up at the end of a needle. Felix was saved from my ex-girlfriend when we split up cause she treated him like shit and Thor was taken in cause no-one wanted him and his Mum rejected him. Come to think of it if I hadn't taken them all they wouldn't be around I'm pretty glad I did even when they steal the ham from my sarnie!

Funnily enough,same with my old cat Orbit,my ex girlfriend also abused him.she threw him at the wall once when he tried to paw a bit of food off her plate,he was about 2 months old..she became my ex that night!

**TheFriendlyBomb** · 14-03-2012, 21:24

Originally Posted by spike7451

Funnily enough,same with my old cat Orbit,my ex girlfriend also abused him.she threw him at the wall once when he tried to paw a bit of food off her plate,he was about 2 months old..she became my ex that night!

Felix was starved and had a broken jaw when I rescued him and took him to the vets. Being a Jock and having a really shitty temper when she didn't get her way she'd kicked him about the day after I left. I'd never hit a woman but on that day I was really fucking close to lamping the bitch she's just lucky he was still alive when I got there. Felix is fine now but doesn't like women, he'll go and sulk whenever a lady graces the house and he's a legend for scratching the shit out of my housemate's arse while he was having intimate relations with a rather nice girl called Kate who funnily enough we never saw again.