Christmas - The Time For Wanting To Kill You Family.

**Miner** · 08-09-2010, 12:20

I know it's a bit early for Christmas threads, but we are coming to that time of year where we are starting to be asked "What are you doing for Christmas?", by various family members. This of course leads to more political shenanigans than the Good Friday Agreement.

My current situation is thus.
After the birth of twin sons, our first kids (and last if I have my way) in January, which followed a very mute Christmas due to pregnancy complications before the birth. My wife and I decided we are spending this Christmas in our own home with an invitation to our parents to spend Christmas dinner with us and their new-ish grandchildren.
Over the years, we’ve both traipsed around our respective sisters because they’ve got kids and couldn’t possibly make them leave the house on "What Have You Got Me" Day. So we thought, time for a bit of payback.
Other family members (my sister & her family, and my wife’s sister and her family) are invited to come around in the morning to see the boys dribble over their new toy boxes (as little kiddies never play with the actual toys).

We didn't go for the big family Christmas as there are 4 in my wife’s sisters family (sister, brother in law, 2 kids aged 16 & 14). And there are 4 in my sisters family (my sister, & 3 kids aged 19,16, & 13). My brother in law has been kicked out, but may be weedling himself back in. But that’s another story. We would also have to invite my wife’s uncle and his gf. This would mean there would be 11 adults, 5 teenagers, 2 babies, and our 2 dogs in my medium (not big, not small) 3 bedroom semi-detached house. Apart from not having the room, the table space, enough chairs, enough plates & cutlery, we only have a normal size oven. We cannot accommodate everyone. Plus, we would actually like to enjoy our boys first Christmas as well.

Now without meaning to sound smug (although I am a little bit), my family are fine with this. My parents have accepted the invite, and my sister fully understands the situation in regards to numbers and stress levels involved.

My wife’s sister (MWS) however is throwing a massive tantrum.
She can't understand why we don't want the entire family around (she's never had to worry about her husbands family as they live about 300 miles away), apparently we're being selfish and awkward by not inviting her & her family. She doesn’t seem to comprehend that if she were invited, my sister would have to be invited to keep the peace. Plus I don’t bloody want her there anyway.

She’s obviously had a moan to my wife’s parents as well, as my wife just rang me, to tell me her mum has said "We’re being awkward" and are making her "choose between her daughters." No, we’re asking you to spend your grandchildren’s first Christmas with them, plain and simple. You’ve spent the last sixteen Christmas’ with your other daughter and grandchildren, you can spend at least one with your other daughter and her kids.

Bloody families!

Right, that’s my rant over.
Anyone else had any Christmas machinations that would make the Vatican and Dan Brown blush?

**Father_Famine** · 08-09-2010, 12:42

Sorry, Mate thats what Christmas is all about now you have kids, spending a fortune on things that people don't need/want, at least one good argument, getting bladdered, overstaying at a family party coz SWMBO isn't ready to leave (F.O.M.S. - Frightened of missing something") and having far too much food in the fridge, cupboard, shelves, spare room.
Its for the kidz innit..........

No mention of Jesus either

**johnboyzzz** · 08-09-2010, 12:43

Easiest way is spread them out parents for christmas day and everyone else boxing day if they don't like it tell them to feck off

Hope this helps

**easesprings** · 08-09-2010, 12:45

Sounds fun. Suggest you ask for a shed and spend the whole festive period esconned ion sid shed building and hiding

That said ours may be the same we are due to move later this month 2.5 hours drive from both our families and not having a had a christmas on our own for 4 years I may ensure we do this year. That said we have the space to put people up just not sure I can be asked with the stress

Edited to add just been reminded that my sister and her fiance are now both veggie and just glare at any family members tucking in to half a farm yard at dinner

**Miner** · 08-09-2010, 12:52

Originally Posted by johnboyzzz

Easiest way is spread them out parents for christmas day and everyone else boxing day if they don't like it tell them to feck off

Hope this helps

Thats what my original plan was/is.
If MWS keeps on I will be telling her to fuck off as well.

From next year onwards, we're having no-one for dinner. Fuck them all.

**Auld-Yin** · 08-09-2010, 12:54

Invite the whole family round to your gaff for Christmas. Then, on Christmas Eve, take yourself, wife and ankle biters off to stay in a hotel in darkest where-ever(just so long as your family don't find out where). You will have a nice peaceful Crimbo being looked after by hotel staff. The other plus is you will not have to worry about family for any more Christmases as they won't be speaking to you!!

Job jobbed.

**Tankiebootneckdad** · 08-09-2010, 13:07

If anybody would like to have Mrs TBND, her mother and daughter that would be nice.
I will than be assured a very quiet Christmas.
Any takers????? No.....thought not...Oh fcuk.

**Tool** · 08-09-2010, 13:16

We set a precident. My folks for Chrsitmas dinner (well, Christmas Eve dinner, which it has been since I were a nipper), and M-in-law for Christmas day lunch. My mother always wanted family at hers and does ALL the prep work for dinner at 77 years of age. This is for 12 people. M-in-law did for 7 (herself, son and 2 daughters, me and our kids). Only one year of moaning (the first). Sisters-in-law (one from each side) objected. My take was tough if they didn't like it, and my wife supported the idea. It worked well for 14 years.

**Auld-Yin** · 08-09-2010, 13:20

Originally Posted by Tankiebootneckdad

If anybody would like to have Mrs TBND, her mother and daughter that would be nice.
I will than be assured a very quiet Christmas.
Any takers????? No.....thought not...Oh fcuk.

If they want to come round here and wait-on for me then fine. Just so long as they know that a fresh brew/beveridge every 10 mins is required and that there will only be the Queen's Speech plus any films I want to watch on the TV.

**Auld-Yin** · 08-09-2010, 13:20

Originally Posted by Tankiebootneckdad

If anybody would like to have Mrs TBND, her mother and daughter that would be nice.
I will than be assured a very quiet Christmas.
Any takers????? No.....thought not...Oh fcuk.

If they want to come round here and wait-on for me then fine. Just so long as they know that a fresh brew/beveridge every 10 mins is required and that there will only be the Queen's Speech plus any films I want to watch on the TV. No Eastenders or any of that type of crap allowed.

**CaptainPlume** · 08-09-2010, 13:21

Originally Posted by Miner

I know it's a bit early for Christmas threads...

Well as M&S now have not only Halloween stock in but also tins of dates & boxes of biscuits with pictures of Father Christmas it's nearly time to start being festive, plainly.

Any bets on when THAT POEM will be posted?

**johnboyzzz** · 08-09-2010, 13:23

Originally Posted by CaptainPlume

Any bets on when THAT POEM will be posted?

What one was that?

**Ravers** · 08-09-2010, 13:23

I feel your pain. I am currently going through a similar situation.

Mrs Ravers is due to drop on bonfire night which means all things going well, we'll have a 6 week old baby at Christmas. Now Mrs Raver's mum lives alone in Cumbria and is expecting us to drive 287 miles North to spend Christmas with her. Unfortunately this just ain't gonna happen, we are moving up there next year anyway so we will be spending pretty much every Christmas after that with her. We have obviously invited her down to ours for Christmas, but she refuses to come down because she has to look after her dogs apparently. Now she is giving us shit because we have selfishly decided to spend our sprog's first Christmas in London with my family, given the fact that it will probably be our last ever Christmas down South I don't really think we're being out of order. Luckily the missus is completely on my side on this occasion.

Christmas is shit. Why the fuck are we celebrating some made up fucker's birthday anyway?