Brought to mind a comment in another thread, so I'm attempting to invigorate your inner mental sanctums with my 'Ode to a Footballer'



'Twas the World Cup in '86
We fought against the Argies
but this time on the pitch
losing 2-1, ain't it a b!tch!

There's no doubt about it,
the greasy dego fouled
got all religious, the sh!t
when we got up and howled.

Blamed 'The Hand of God'
and was backed by the Pope
to the hilt was his Squad
We didn't have a hope.

At last now, the truth can be seen,
and it appears to go with the territory
it wasn't footy, instead quite obsene
God touching balls inapropriately.

There once was a boxer call Hatton.
Who's opponents he would flatton
Till a challenger came
and gave him some pain
Now little Ricky's been shat on!!

Originally Posted by k13eod

Originally Posted by weekend_worrier

Manc fans on Park Ji-Sung (to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance'):

'Park, Park, whoever you may be.
You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house'.

Fulham fans on Bobby Zamora (who's missed a few sitters in his time - to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

'When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head,
That's Zamora'.

Now look what you've done. You've sullied a poetry thread with common terrace chants.

Sully away I say.

It'll all end in tears.

Or something based on a poem by Kipling.

Originally Posted by k13eod

Originally Posted by weekend_worrier

Manc fans on Park Ji-Sung (to the tune of 'Lord of the Dance'):

'Park, Park, whoever you may be.
You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house'.

Fulham fans on Bobby Zamora (who's missed a few sitters in his time - to the tune of 'That's Amore'):

'When you're sat in Row Z and the ball hits your head,
That's Zamora'.

Now look what you've done. You've sullied a poetry thread with common terrace chants.

I seem to remember a slightly different version of that song everytime he did he the net when he played for BHAFC...mind you that was a fair few leagues below!

A timeless classic from yesteryear:

Cheer up, Terry V
Oh, how can it be? You're a
Sad Daggie bastard, with a
Shite football te-ee-ee-eam!

And he was.

I would love to have been there when the newly- wed Victoria was serenaded by an entire stadium of football fans with:

'Do you take it up the arrse Mrs Beckham?
Do like it when it goes up hard and fast?
Do you gobble like a turkey Mrs Beckham,
with half a pound of Paxo up your arrse?

Faaaantastic!