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15-03-2010, 22:10 #1Senior Member
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The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Random assorted gratuitous weirdness...
Was wafting home after Traditional Chinese Medical treatment which, unbeknownst to me, had re-activated the nerves which control intestinal activity.
En route, was attacked by an Indian Mynah, a gaily-named, small, aggressive, territorial, drably-coloured introduced species which is not good to eat, has no song to speak of, and is generally good for nothing. With uncharacteristically catlike reflexes, I whipped off my frayed, faded, flecktarn Feldmutze and flung it fast and fiercely at the fluttering faggot.
I missed. I blame aerodynamics.
Arriving home, I took a heaped tablespoonful of epsom salts, because it seemed like a good idea. The ensuing torrent of turd originally smelled reassuringly shitlike, then turned chemical, then STANK, yes REEKED of carrion.
Yeah. Phew!
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15-03-2010, 22:16 #2Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
The only words I recognised were Traditional Chinese Medical treatment.....can you decipher the rest for me!
TCM = acupuncture or herbs?There is a God and he looked down on the Earth and said "Let there be Liberal Democrats in the Government" and it came to pass that the disciple Dave brought Nick back from the wilderness and there was much partying.
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15-03-2010, 22:18 #3Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Since when did traditional Chinese medicine include drinking a pint of toilet duck?
"If you ask me, this country could use a little less motivation. The people who are motivated are the ones causing all the trouble. Stock swindlers, serial killers, child molesters, Christian conservatives... these people are highly motivated." -George Carlin
"If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up cause that cunt's a cunt." -Malcolm Tucker
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15-03-2010, 22:30 #4Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Yes.
Originally Posted by RearWords
The only words I recognised were Traditional Chinese Medical treatment.....can you decipher the rest for me!
TCM = acupuncture or herbs?
Translation follows;
Back hurts. Get help for back. Back good now, walk home.
FUCK, bird, bad bird, make bird go!
Bird gone, go home.
Home now, take salts.
Ooh yuck, Yuck, YUCK!
How's that?
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15-03-2010, 22:31 #5Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Old Korean proverb: 'If a jug falls onto a stone, it breaks. If a stone falls onto a jug, the jug still breaks. Poor jug'.
..............well, it made as much sense as Chinese needles in the groin, avian immigrants, disreputable headwear and your impacted colon.The pen is mightier than the sword - until you meet someone who has knowledge of simple chemistry, metal forging and ballistics.
Be warned: I bear malice.
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15-03-2010, 22:36 #6Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Look bastards, I was simply pointing out how a simple well-intended aim can turn weird on you.
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15-03-2010, 22:38 #7Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Originally Posted by auscam
Yes. Originally Posted by RearWords
The only words I recognised were Traditional Chinese Medical treatment.....can you decipher the rest for me!
TCM = acupuncture or herbs?
Translation follows;
Back hurts. Get help for back. Back good now, walk home.
FUCK, bird, bad bird, make bird go!
Bird gone, go home.
Home now, take salts.
Ooh yuck, Yuck, YUCK!
How's that?
Try as you might you'll not get through to the Granny.
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15-03-2010, 22:41 #8Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
'toilet duck' indeed, I haven't touched the stuff since 2008! Fucking cheek!
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15-03-2010, 22:53 #9Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
That's utterly amazing, Auscam. Totally gripping stuff. Otherwise, how was your sightseeing tour of the aluminium-smelting company?
MsG
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15-03-2010, 23:15 #10Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
I'm more interested in his bowel cancer. Originally Posted by Bugsy
'The honesty and bravery of our fighting forces stands in stark contrast to the weasel words and dishonesty of their political masters'. Liam Fox Now with 'added irony'!
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15-03-2010, 23:17 #11Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
(assumes thick Austrian accent) It'z nod uh tooma!
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15-03-2010, 23:18 #12Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Thanks Auscam....that sure is an interesting life you lead. Originally Posted by auscam
Yes. Originally Posted by RearWords
The only words I recognised were Traditional Chinese Medical treatment.....can you decipher the rest for me!
TCM = acupuncture or herbs?
Translation follows;
Back hurts. Get help for back. Back good now, walk home.
FUCK, bird, bad bird, make bird go!
Bird gone, go home.
Home now, take salts.
Ooh yuck, Yuck, YUCK!
How's that?
I presume acupuncture for the back then?
I do great massages....
Might be in Aus during August....
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15-03-2010, 23:20 #13Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Will it be safe? There's random weirdness aplenty around here, it's proliferating! (what a lot of syllables!)
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15-03-2010, 23:26 #14Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Originally Posted by RearWords
Thanks Auscam....that sure is an interesting life you lead. Originally Posted by auscam
Yes. Originally Posted by RearWords
The only words I recognised were Traditional Chinese Medical treatment.....can you decipher the rest for me!
TCM = acupuncture or herbs?
Translation follows;
Back hurts. Get help for back. Back good now, walk home.
FUCK, bird, bad bird, make bird go!
Bird gone, go home.
Home now, take salts.
Ooh yuck, Yuck, YUCK!
How's that?
I presume acupuncture for the back then?
I do great massages....
Might be in Aus during August....
Now I do feel fcuking ill. Auscam at all costs avoid the ancient SCH!
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15-03-2010, 23:29 #15Senior Member
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Re: The TCM, the gay bird attack, and the carrion cr@p
Wow you really don't get the concept of banter do you? Originally Posted by jarrod248
Originally Posted by RearWords
Thanks Auscam....that sure is an interesting life you lead. Originally Posted by auscam
Yes. Originally Posted by RearWords
The only words I recognised were Traditional Chinese Medical treatment.....can you decipher the rest for me!
TCM = acupuncture or herbs?
Translation follows;
Back hurts. Get help for back. Back good now, walk home.
FUCK, bird, bad bird, make bird go!
Bird gone, go home.
Home now, take salts.
Ooh yuck, Yuck, YUCK!
How's that?
I presume acupuncture for the back then?
I do great massages....
Might be in Aus during August....
Now I do feel fcuking ill. Auscam at all costs avoid the ancient SCH!
Bloody good stalker though!
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