Thread: Road rage- What grips your sh*t?

Drivers using their hazards to indicate that they are stopping. Normal indications are good enough, fair do's put your hazards on when you are stopped if you percieve the need to do so but give me a fu&*ing clue which way you are going to go first.

Sanctimonious middle lane drivers on motorways, no traffic for miles but there they are sat in the middle lane doing 65 MPH, with their string sided driving gloves on aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h!

Any taxi driver - including my Brother in Law, who is a lovely guy but still a cab driver

School run drivers, who insist on stopping on the yellow zig zag outside a school cos they are too lazy to stop in a suitable place and walk their little darling back to the school gate.

I could go on but my blood pressure is going up and I havn't driven in two weeks

Originally Posted by mistersoft

However, there are some cnuts on bikes who position themselves exactly where the cnuts in cars can't see them. Until it's too late.

Assuming said cnuts can tear themselves away from playing with their phone/satnav/onboard computer/entertainment complex for long enough to actually look in their rear view or door mirrors...

Countless times I've positioned myself behind a car so that I can see the driver's reflection in the mirror while I wait for a suitable opportunity to overtake, only to see their shocked and startled expression when I open the loud handle and overtake.

These are the selfsame cnuts who complain the most loudly about "speeding" bikes "appearing from nowhere".

While we're on the subject, if you're one of the public-spirited types who like to show your solidarity with filtering bikers (or save your precious box from attack - I'm never sure which) by wrenching the wheel hard left and mounting the kerb or driving along the verge - don't. Just position your vehicle on the road leaving enough space on the right and let me make the big decisions about how much room I need, OK?

Originally Posted by Legs

Driving through the Cotswolds towing a caravan (yes, I know...) at exactly the speed limit. No traffic behind me and a steep hill in front. I drop a gear and continue up the hill, still at the speed limit. Until some tw@t in a Suzuki (not so)Swift pulls out from the right and almost stops dead in front of me, causing me to do an emergency stop or else drive through the poxy little hair dryer on four wheels.

Driving a big black Galaxy, with a big white caravan behind, headlights and running lights on and perfect visibility so he had no excuse.


It ain't always caravan drivers that cause the problems on country roads.




edited for poor punctuation.

Still cnuts who tow caravans.

And especially the ones who post on forums and then feel the need to go back and correct their punctuation.

Originally Posted by skintboymike

Originally Posted by the_guru

Cnuts in cars that don't see bikes.

If 99% of bikers didn't think they were extras from Street Hawk or Tron, us drivers would see them just fine.

If you're not looking, you won't see them.

Think once, think twice.....

Having said that, there are a few people on bikes these days that haven't got a clue. Seen one yesterday, trundling along at 25 in a 30 on a litre plus bike. Poor road positioning at junctions and no rear observations at all. When we got to the open road he speeded up a bit, but couldn't handle the simplest of corners. I bet his tyres are squarer that a brick.

My betting is he's one of those direct access blokes, that in mid-age decides to get a bike for the first time. And since they have some money, once they pass their test they buy the biggest thing they can get. Then wrap themselves around a tree.

Originally Posted by Sancho_Panza

Originally Posted by skintboymike

Originally Posted by the_guru

Cnuts in cars that don't see bikes.

If 99% of bikers didn't think they were extras from Street Hawk or Tron, us drivers would see them just fine.

If you're not looking, you won't see them.

Think once, think twice.....

Having said that, there are a few people on bikes these days that haven't got a clue. Seen one yesterday, trundling along at 25 in a 30 on a litre plus bike. Poor road positioning at junctions and no rear observations at all. When we got to the open road he speeded up a bit, but couldn't handle the simplest of corners. I bet his tyres are squarer that a brick.

My betting is he's one of those direct access blokes, that in mid-age decides to get a bike for the first time. And since they have some money, once they pass their test they buy the biggest thing they can get. Then wrap themselves around a tree.

Having written earlier about the safety that comes with age and experience, I'll sing a slightly different song.

The Born Again Biker (50+, not been aboard bike since aged 20 or less) is - statistically - the single most endangered species of motorist.

I live too close to Silverstone for comfort sometimes. Every sunny w/e from the first one in March each year, the roads round here are thick with leather-clad souls of all ages.

The death and injury rate among such folk (prominently displayed on road signs on their favoured routes) are disturbing to put it mildly.

I suppose it's the ones who think they are immortal, and treat the rest of us as obstacles to be overcome at any cost, that are on my sh*t list.

Originally Posted by skintboymike

Originally Posted by the_guru

Cnuts in cars that don't see bikes.

If 99% of bikers didn't think they were extras from Street Hawk or Tron, us drivers would see them just fine.

What a fcuking horseshite statement. Whilst I won't deny that there are a few that take liberties, your 99pc just proves that you are more than likely one of those cnuts that pull in the way of bikes in a jam because they are jealous that someone else is going faster than you.

99pc ? Fcuking shite.

I like bikers. At the hospital I used to work at we had a name for them.
Donors

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Originally Posted by Legs

Driving through the Cotswolds towing a caravan (yes, I know...) at exactly the speed limit. No traffic behind me and a steep hill in front. I drop a gear and continue up the hill, still at the speed limit. Until some tw@t in a Suzuki (not so)Swift pulls out from the right and almost stops dead in front of me, causing me to do an emergency stop or else drive through the poxy little hair dryer on four wheels.

Driving a big black Galaxy, with a big white caravan behind, headlights and running lights on and perfect visibility so he had no excuse.


It ain't always caravan drivers that cause the problems on country roads.




edited for poor punctuation.

Still cnuts who tow caravans.

And especially the ones who post on forums and then feel the need to go back and correct their punctuation.

Choke on a cheese! :P

1. Twats who drive at 40mph on open roads when they should be doing 60, then carry on at 40 when they go into a 30mph zone past schools, over pedestrian crossings etc .
2. Fackin mongs who put a 'Small Person on Board' sign in their rear window (cutting their rear vision), who then cut you up: So WE all have to drive considerately so as not to harm their useless squalling progeny, but they can drive however the f*ck they like because only they and their retarded little bastards are in any way worthy of consideration .
3. Pricks on the motorway who eventually get the f*ck out of the way but then speed up - why don't they just speed the f*ck up in the first place, then they wouldn't have the 'trauma' of moving left .
But I think it's important to keep things in perspective and retain a sense of calm at all times.:D

Originally Posted by guzzijon

1. Twats who drive at 40mph on open roads when they should be doing 60, then carry on at 40 when they go into a 30mph zone past schools, over pedestrian crossings etc .

I was behind her yesterday evening. . . d'you live near me?

Originally Posted by exbleep

I like bikers. At the hospital I used to work at we had a name for them.
Donors

Older than God.

And check out these 15,000 donors today. Donated quite a lot, I'd say.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...ghanistan.html

What were you doing at the hospital that you worked for? Spreading MRSA around with a cloth, or feeling up the corpses on the way to the mortuary?

Originally Posted by exbleep

I like bikers. At the hospital I used to work at we had a name for them.
Donors

Not surprisingly, bikers have a phrase for you people like you.

Sanctimonious cnuts.

Originally Posted by the_guru

Originally Posted by skintboymike

Originally Posted by the_guru

Cnuts in cars that don't see bikes.

If 99% of bikers didn't think they were extras from Street Hawk or Tron, us drivers would see them just fine.

What a fcuking horseshite statement. Whilst I won't deny that there are a few that take liberties, your 99pc just proves that you are more than likely one of those cnuts that pull in the way of bikes in a jam because they are jealous that someone else is going faster than you.

99pc ? Fcuking shite.

Whilst I won't argue on the statistics front (although it often seems like 99% to me) it was a post made out of annoyance at the sheer amount of motorcyclists who seem intent on making my daily commute a misery. If I HADN'T been keeping a keen eye on the road at all times there would have been a damn sight fewer of them alive today.

As for being annoyed at bikers flying down the middle during jams, they can crack on. I've spent enough time in queues not to care anymore, my time's already lost no matter how many bikes overtake me. There's been one or two occasions when bikes have grazed my wing mirror when stood stationary, now THAT pisses me off.

Originally Posted by dogmeat

Originally Posted by mistersoft

However, there are some cnuts on bikes who position themselves exactly where the cnuts in cars can't see them. Until it's too late.

Assuming said cnuts can tear themselves away from playing with their phone/satnav/onboard computer/entertainment complex for long enough to actually look in their rear view or door mirrors...

Countless times I've positioned myself behind a car so that I can see the driver's reflection in the mirror while I wait for a suitable opportunity to overtake, only to see their shocked and startled expression when I open the loud handle and overtake.

These are the selfsame cnuts who complain the most loudly about "speeding" bikes "appearing from nowhere".

While we're on the subject, if you're one of the public-spirited types who like to show your solidarity with filtering bikers (or save your precious box from attack - I'm never sure which) by wrenching the wheel hard left and mounting the kerb or driving along the verge - don't. Just position your vehicle on the road leaving enough space on the right and let me make the big decisions about how much room I need, OK?

Spleen suitably vented?

Thank you for the driving lesson even though it's not entirely neccesary. And thank you for picking me to illustrate how superior the riding (driving) skills are (allegedly) of a biker compared to the driver of something with four wheels. I actually used to be a biker until ill health deemed I had to stick to the four wheeled version of transport.

Bikers can AND DO position themselves in a car driver's blind spot and may I also point out that the stopping distance at any speed from total fart to to silly ridiculous, is NOT 28cm and that's whether I can see the buggers or not.

Whilst this is clearly an emotive topic, is there any need for all the aggro? take a chill pill, you miserable cunts. ;)

Edited to say cunts.