Useful

**Cuddles** · 10-02-2010, 16:58

Originally Posted by scoobydont

What size hammer did you hit the garden fork with?

I thought that! Are all RA LADs identical??

**Themanwho** · 10-02-2010, 17:16

Have you filled out your Expedient Maintenance Record Form? (AESP 0200-A-090-013 Chap 7 Ann B refers).

Don't apply to join REME hippy. Wait a couple of months, as we're all doomed to being assimilated by the Borg into the RLC, apparently. At least that'll stop the Welbexian clan from trying to introduce another LEAN line as part of their plan to feck over the entire universe...

Personally I reckon they're just waiting for HM the Q to pop her clogs, so they can use up that stockpile of Royal Army Service Corps capbadges with the King's crown when Prince Charles takes the Throne. Then it's goodbye RLC/REME and hello chiphats, puttees, battledress and blanco. Next step: Reintroduction of the Wagon Train and Commissaries, along with kevlar pith helmets.

Anyway, was your garden fork in date for calibration?

**The_IRON** · 10-02-2010, 17:17

Originally Posted by Cuddles

Originally Posted by scoobydont

What size hammer did you hit the garden fork with?

I thought that! Are all RA LADs identical??

Unfortunately Cuddles the B Mechs cant pick anything bigger than a toffee hammer up and us A Mechs will not use anything smalletr than a sledge hammer.

**vvaannmmaann** · 10-02-2010, 17:23

Of course,the Crabs would have done it correctly.

**armr617** · 10-02-2010, 17:50

Originally Posted by broken_man

It's always gripped me how the REME see fit to crate people when they've only done their job.

The only time I crate someone for doing my job is when I have done something that if not for the crate then the user would be receiving a large bill and possibly a visit to the old man.

For instance, an inf JNCO brings forth a rifle, hanging out of the barrel of said rifle is a pull through. attached to the other end of the pull through is a well wedged piece of flannelette, when removed it was found to be approx 90mmx110mm- slightly over the ideal 45x45??
OR another JNCO brings me a rifle, 'the trigger dont work mate'
hmmmmm, upon further inspection it would appear that the orange colour inside the TMH is rust, so bad in fact that it had to be left overnight in a kero bath. cate of fosters= happy me, very happy JNCO not getting hammered by his CSM

**See_You_Next_Tuesday** · 10-02-2010, 17:59

Can you join REME honurably?

You could but you wouldn't remain honourable for long and do you have the following spec quals:

1. Be able to fit in 8 hands of Hunt the Cnut, a NAAFI Pie, a Pint of Tea and 10 cigs during a NAAFI break?
2. Calculate the EP of a bus load of nurses on an outing to a Regimental pish up?
3. Be married to the ugliest bint in the Battalion?
4. Polish the arrse out of 6 pairs of CBT 95 Trousers in a year?
5. Load test your Belt CBT 95 with a belly Bergan that Pavarotti would be proud of?

Come on in!

**FourEM** · 10-02-2010, 18:11

Originally Posted by vvaannmmaann

Of course,the Crabs would have done it correctly.

HaHaHaHaHaHa

**mistersoft** · 10-02-2010, 18:13

Originally Posted by vvaannmmaann

Of course,the Crabs would have done it correctly.

There's a first time for everything.

And of course even possibly a last.

**CC_TA** · 10-02-2010, 18:58

Originally Posted by armr617

Originally Posted by broken_man

It's always gripped me how the REME see fit to crate people when they've only done their job.

The only time I crate someone for doing my job is when I have done something that if not for the crate then the user would be receiving a large bill and possibly a visit to the old man.

For instance, an inf JNCO brings forth a rifle, hanging out of the barrel of said rifle is a pull through. attached to the other end of the pull through is a well wedged piece of flannelette, when removed it was found to be approx 90mmx110mm- slightly over the ideal 45x45??
OR another JNCO brings me a rifle, 'the trigger dont work mate'
hmmmmm, upon further inspection it would appear that the orange colour inside the TMH is rust, so bad in fact that it had to be left overnight in a kero bath. cate of fosters= happy me, very happy JNCO not getting hammered by his CSM

I used to ask for a pack of biscuits or a small jar of coffee if I'd dug someone out of the shoite until a very unhappy git told me to:

"You can feck off if you think you're getting a jar of coffee or a crate of beer for doing your job!"

"So you'd like it done by the book then Sir???"

"Yes!"

Couple of crates would have cost a few DMs, the 'bill' for parts and labour as per 'the book' for barrel, breech and various other rectified 30mm bits was quite a bit more - Look on his face after a little chat with the QM was gleaming!

**armr617** · 10-02-2010, 19:50

Same for the wretched mechs too

mate of mine went to a job, trucks broke. ok, so your truck is broke is it, yep.
its out of fuel, nah cant be mate, this is the packed fuel truck

.

yep pte feckwit had run out of fuel, while fully loaded with diesel cans.
he was argueing the crate, til his tp staffy found out