Thread: I almost died last night

It was pretty funny actually. Head on collision with cars going 70mph+ wouldn't have been so funny though. Wasn't even my fault for once, the asshole was in my lane overtaking!

Luckily I managed to break and swerve without running myself off the road and into trees. But there can't have been more than half a metre between us! I don't think airbags and seat belts would have saved me at that speed though.

Is it natural to just laugh at a situation like when you could have seriously been in a whole load of trouble if things had been different by just a few cms?

Anyone else had some close calls on the roads or whatever?

Originally Posted by Forks

Is it natural to just laugh at a situation like when you could have seriously been in a whole load of trouble if things had been different by just a few cms?

Yes, it dissipates the adrenaline rush.

I don't think it's uncommon to burst out laughing when your stress levels are seriously high, I almost drowned when I was a kid, got my leg stuck in the root of a tree on a riverbank and couldn't keep my head above water, while that was going on, my little mate was running backwards and forwards along the riverbank then had to stop to pee because he was so frightened and he was going to release and follow through, that to me was one of the funniest moments of my life, here's me literally drowning and my mate, who should have been running to find an adult to help was standing on the riverbank p*ssing into the river right upstream from me.

Mate, you should see traffic here.

Taxis, nuff said.

Ask another Saffa, Im too lazy to explain.

(Except to recount the one time a minibus from hell, the driver annoyed that his traffic wasn't moving, decide to go against oncoming traffic. The trouble is these okes have been known to shoot people for pissing them off, most of them carry weapons, so noone can do anything.)

Many years ago, I drove from the Forest of Dean to Watford. En route, an Oxfordshire Chav totalled my windscreen. No dosh or not enough to get the screen replaced so I drove on to Watford.

On the way back (still with no windscreen) I had a head on collision with a MkIV Zephyr between the Air Balloon and Birdlip Hill. The cnut had overtaken on a blind bend and on the brow of a hill and my cousin and I BOTH ended up on the bonnet going through the windscreen that was fortunately no longer there.

No injuries but my cousin was in shock (he went to be a crab so no surprise there) and the only thing he could say to the cops and me, was that he'd be late for his tea. Over and over again.

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Many years ago, I drove from the Forest of Dean to Watford. En route, an Oxfordshire Chav totalled my windscreen. No dosh or not enough to get the screen replaced so I drove on to Watford.

On the way back (still with no windscreen) I had a head on collision with a MkIV Zephyr between the Air Balloon and Birdlip Hill. The cnut had overtaken on a blind bend and on the brow of a hill and my cousin and I BOTH ended up on the bonnet going through the windscreen that was fortunately no longer there.

No injuries but my cousin was in shock (he went to be a crab so no surprise there) and the only thing he could say to the cops and me, was that he'd be late for his tea. Over and over again.

The words "Forest of Dean" and "cousin" in the same thread!!!
FFS, lol need i say more

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Many years ago, I drove from the Forest of Dean to Watford. En route, an Oxfordshire Chav totalled my windscreen. No dosh or not enough to get the screen replaced so I drove on to Watford.

On the way back (still with no windscreen) I had a head on collision with a MkIV Zephyr between the Air Balloon and Birdlip Hill. The cnut had overtaken on a blind bend and on the brow of a hill and my cousin and I BOTH ended up on the bonnet going through the windscreen that was fortunately no longer there.

No injuries but my cousin was in shock (he went to be a crab so no surprise there) and the only thing he could say to the cops and me, was that he'd be late for his tea. Over and over again.

Well you'll be glad to hear that there must be at least one accident per week on that road still! But only if it's a quiet week, usually more, if count trucks breaking down going up the hill.

Originally Posted by leveller

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Many years ago, I drove from the Forest of Dean to Watford. En route, an Oxfordshire Chav totalled my windscreen. No dosh or not enough to get the screen replaced so I drove on to Watford.

On the way back (still with no windscreen) I had a head on collision with a MkIV Zephyr between the Air Balloon and Birdlip Hill. The cnut had overtaken on a blind bend and on the brow of a hill and my cousin and I BOTH ended up on the bonnet going through the windscreen that was fortunately no longer there.

No injuries but my cousin was in shock (he went to be a crab so no surprise there) and the only thing he could say to the cops and me, was that he'd be late for his tea. Over and over again.

Well you'll be glad to hear that there must be at least one accident per week on that road still! But only if it's a quiet week, usually more, if count trucks breaking down going up the hill.

Seconded, I hate that stretch of road too, far too many close shaves for my liking.

21:15hrs 19/12/06 Interesting night woman driver doing estimated 55 in the fog lost control hit me head on fortunatley I was being sensible for once so combined speed was reckoned to be about 75. I walked out of that and because it was in the middle of no-where spent the next 20 mins trying to keep the silly cow concious as she brained her self.

The most interesting part was once the cops, ambulance and fire brigade turned up the senior fire officer rushing round asking "wheres the other driver" the look on his face when is said "yeah thats me" was one i'll never forget. It was plain and simple "But your not dead!"

I had a close call with death in Devon.My first ever motor,a wee Mini 1275.Going through the lanes at night,I flipped the thing onto it's roof.No other cars involved.Plod eventually arrived.He kept asking me about the Black dog that must have run across the road in front of me,causing the accident.
In my youth and stupidity I had no idea he was trying to help me,by inventing a ficticious dog.

Then there was the time I ran my wife over in Ledbury.Oh how she laughed.
Oh and the Lancia Delta I put into a ditch.The Volvo that had a Oak tree fall on it.The Mini Metro that caught fire in Bristol.The Subaru that floated away during some heavy rain.The Grey Furguson tractor that I used to find my neighbours septic tank,by putting the front wheels into the tank.
I wont mention the Yamaha FS1E.

Originally Posted by vvaannmmaann

I

I wont mention the Yamaha FS1E.

you didnt catch the pedal on the ground as you were trying to take a corner and get your knee down did you? :P

Originally Posted by bomb-int

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Many years ago, I drove from the Forest of Dean to Watford. En route, an Oxfordshire Chav totalled my windscreen. No dosh or not enough to get the screen replaced so I drove on to Watford.

On the way back (still with no windscreen) I had a head on collision with a MkIV Zephyr between the Air Balloon and Birdlip Hill. The cnut had overtaken on a blind bend and on the brow of a hill and my cousin and I BOTH ended up on the bonnet going through the windscreen that was fortunately no longer there.

No injuries but my cousin was in shock (he went to be a crab so no surprise there) and the only thing he could say to the cops and me, was that he'd be late for his tea. Over and over again.

The words "Forest of Dean" and "cousin" in the same thread!!!
FFS, lol need i say more

Yes I know I left myself open for that one.

I said cousin as I couldn't be arsed to type the son of my mother's sister.

And anyway, we didn't live in Cinderford or Coleford where the vast majority of the inbreeding takes place.

Originally Posted by Forks

It was pretty funny actually. Head on collision with cars going 70mph+ wouldn't have been so funny though. Wasn't even my fault for once, the asshole was in my lane overtaking!

Luckily I managed to break and swerve without running myself off the road and into trees. But there can't have been more than half a metre between us! I don't think airbags and seat belts would have saved me at that speed though.

Is it natural to just laugh at a situation like when you could have seriously been in a whole load of trouble if things had been different by just a few cms?

Anyone else had some close calls on the roads or whatever?

Almost identical situation, about 12 years ago on a country road near a town called March.
I didnt crap myself, but I did have a very odd and sudden wave of heat go across my whole body, never felt that since, very odd.

Originally Posted by Gren

Originally Posted by Forks

It was pretty funny actually. Head on collision with cars going 70mph+ wouldn't have been so funny though. Wasn't even my fault for once, the asshole was in my lane overtaking!

Luckily I managed to break and swerve without running myself off the road and into trees. But there can't have been more than half a metre between us! I don't think airbags and seat belts would have saved me at that speed though.

Is it natural to just laugh at a situation like when you could have seriously been in a whole load of trouble if things had been different by just a few cms?

Anyone else had some close calls on the roads or whatever?

Almost identical situation, about 12 years ago on a country road near a town called March.
I didnt crap myself, but I did have a very odd and sudden wave of heat go across my whole body, never felt that since, very odd.

A lot of dykes round there lining the roads as well.

Ref. A cold winters night, I laughed my balls off after a few large single malts from the Pardre