Thread: AMSTERDAM

My younger brother is coming to visit in a months time, he is 45 and has not been laid for at least 2 years. Now being the caring big brother that I am I thought I would take him to 'dam for the day and get him laid. Problem is I have never used the services available myself. I have seen the birds in the windows by the canal, but how do things work, how much does it cost. Any advice greatly received.

If it's anything like the German houses, barter! Long time ago (when we had hair), the team went to Knobelstadt (made up name) and my Sgt asked what the form was. I went up to the girl, asked her the price and proceded to beat her down by 30%. Sgt goes and gets laid - job done. He then goes and does another 2 girls (without the discount). Trouble is, his missus finds the Access bills - what a knobber!

50 euro for half an hour. It's probably cheaper to spend some beer to chat up a 19 year old fit backpacker on her gap year. At least you'll have your accomodation sorted at the same time.

Some brother you are!
Let him have a do on your wife, and save his money to spend on beer.

Im 1ic of my mates stag do, Amsterdam is on the short list as its easy to get to. We weren't thinking about knocking shos ( honest) however if someone could recommend a decent bar thats not full of druggies and has decent entertainment then Id be interested, after the Ann Frank museum and the Van Gogh of course

Originally Posted by scruff_2

My younger brother is coming to visit in a months time, he is 45 and has not been laid for at least 2 years. Now being the caring big brother that I am I thought I would take him to 'dam for the day and get him laid. Problem is I have never used the services available myself. I have seen the birds in the windows by the canal, but how do things work, how much does it cost. Any advice greatly received.

Then you have not lived

Originally Posted by polar69

Im 1ic of my mates stag do, Amsterdam is on the short list as its easy to get to. We weren't thinking about knocking shos ( honest) however if someone could recommend a decent bar thats not full of druggies and has decent entertainment then Id be interested, after the Ann Frank museum and the Van Gogh of course

Been a while so can't remember the good bars, bu bars are bars, coffee shops are for stoners. Stick to the bars and you'll have no problem come CDT time.

Originally Posted by polar69

Im 1ic of my mates stag do, Amsterdam is on the short list as its easy to get to. We weren't thinking about knocking shos ( honest) however if someone could recommend a decent bar thats not full of druggies and has decent entertainment then Id be interested, after the Ann Frank museum and the Van Gogh of course

Go to Rembrandtsplein or the dutch bars, steer clear of the 'tourist' pubs.

I got the wrong idea in the 'Anne Frank' Museum thinking it was rhyming slang. At least I got to finish. Not easy with the staff watching.

Sod it it livened up a dull afternoon, not much of an interior decorator - right shite hole. Thought les juifs had money and taste? I'll stick to admiring people's gaffs in Golders Green.

Wouldn't Poland be a much cheaper option? Ale in Amsterdam is not cheap.

Originally Posted by polar69

Im 1ic of my mates stag do, Amsterdam is on the short list as its easy to get to. We weren't thinking about knocking shos ( honest) however if someone could recommend a decent bar thats not full of druggies and has decent entertainment then Id be interested, after the Ann Frank museum and the Van Gogh of course

The Sex Museum on Damrak, No 18, followed by the Erotic Museum at Achterburgwal 54.

...................allegedly.

Originally Posted by Stanley1975

50 euro for half an hour. It's probably cheaper to spend some beer to chat up a 19 year old fit backpacker on her gap year. At least you'll have your accomodation sorted at the same time.

Bloody hell, there's inflation for you. It was only 25 guilders for half an hour WAY back in 1972. Touching was of course extra, as was everything else. I do vaguely remember the ceiling could have done with a lick of paint and that the wallpaper was fcuking horrendous.

I haven't done the nightlife in Amsterdam since then but on a daytrip a couple of years ago when I actually lived in NL, there were a couple of bars between the station and Dam Square that had scantily clad ladies prancing about outside as well as in. It made the waiting for the missus, who was shopping in De Bijenkorf (a department store) all the more interesting.

I didn't see many druggies (except for the now compulsory hundred or so hanging round the station), kept well clear of the Moluccans (scary little buggers) and if you have to get on a tram, make sure there's no fcuking septics onboard. En route to the consulate, we had to endure one extremely annoying septic telling her friend and the rest of the tram (and most of Amsterdam AND probably parts of of Amstelveen), her entire life story at roughly 120dB.

For beer and music - there is a good live music bar called The Waterhole http://www.waterhole.nl/

with live music up in Leidseplein near the Heineken-shmeineken brewery and the Marriot. They keep the glasses in the freezer and they have a cool pool table. People come from all over to sing there. We worked up that way for a week and went in every night. One beautiful chick came from Texas and sang one night - was with her dickhead mexican boyfriend who thought he was snoop dog. she challenged us to pool and played really well - we still laugh 10 years later as the boyfriend was leaning against a fire door, drunk and we were beating him at pool for the 100th time when he fell backwards thru the fire door knocking his little nappy head bandana thing over his face as well - blinded and floored!

50 Euro for 20 mins on the main street in red light. 30 Euro if you look hard enough but the girls are of lower quality.

Stay away from the purple lights FFS!!! (Unless you're into that of course)

How does it go then? You walk up to the doors. They hopefully say somethjing shexy in Dutch accent...most likely in Eastern Europen accent these days...you walk in....they close the curtain (its just a curtain isn't it?
)....you say what you want or do they ask.....how do you describe what you want....can you hear next door accupants?