ARmy Rumour SErvice

**convoy_cock** · 05-04-2005, 14:46

Originally Posted by chickenpunk

Originally Posted by semper

Originally Posted by chickenpunk

Oh yes, and I've done the fücking nit-combing thing as well.

How Romantic !

A sign of true love.

Not just romantic, but strangely therapeutic and rewarding.

"Watch them as they cling forlornly to life on the teeth of that fine comb. See their horror as they are tapped on to a piece of white paper and they realise that escape is now impossible. Imagine them pleading for mercy as the thumbnail of destruction chops their little body in half."

Thats what it said on the bottle of nit shampoo that I bought, anyway.

**Ranger_Danger** · 05-04-2005, 14:50

1995 Friday - spent evening at home crying my eyes out whilst my Tw*t of a husband was sh*gging his new 19 year old bimbo followed by him not coming home. Life sucks.

2005 Friday - spent evening in a really nice eatery having lobster and lots of wine followed by being taken home and rogered senseless by my boyfriend. Never thought of my ex husband once. Result. Life is GREAT

**convoy_cock** · 05-04-2005, 14:54

Originally Posted by Poppy

Thank God I am single and have no children

Looks like your in the clear anyway, Poppy. I've just had another check of the nit shampoo bottle, and it says.

"Nits are more common in children, but adults that live in close proximity to minors are regularly affected. Nits can be avoided by:

a. Avoiding any hair to hair contact with children.

b. Dabbing a small amount of teatree oil at the nape of the neck. This serves as both treatment and preventative.

c. Adopting a hairstyle so farcical, that no self regarding nit would be seen dead in it. The 'Anvil' or 'German Helmet' is particularly effective.

**Poppy** · 05-04-2005, 14:56

Originally Posted by convoy_cock

Originally Posted by Poppy

Thank God I am single and have no children

Looks like your in the clear anyway, Poppy. I've just had another check of the nit shampoo bottle, and it says.

"Nits are more common in children, but adults that live in close proximity to minors are regularly affected. Nits can be avoided by:

a. Avoiding any hair to hair contact with children.

b. Dabbing a small amount of teatree oil at the nape of the neck. This serves as both treatment and preventative.

c. Adopting a hairstyle so farcical, that no self regarding nit would be seen dead in it. The 'Anvil' or 'German Helmet' is particularly effective.

Phew!

**DozyBint** · 05-04-2005, 14:59

April 1995: wondering how to research & write 8 university papers in a week...

April 2005: chilling out in Singapore, drinking red wine...

05-04-2005, 15:00

[quote="convoy_cock"][quote="chickenpunk"][quote="semper"][quote="chickenpunk"]
Oh yes, and I've done the fücking nit-combing thing as well.[/quote]
How Romantic ! :lol:[/quote]

A sign of true love.[/quote]

Not just romantic, but strangely therapeutic and rewarding.

"Watch them as they cling forlornly to life on the teeth of that fine comb. See their horror as they are tapped on to a piece of white paper and they realise that escape is now impossible. Imagine them pleading for mercy as the thumbnail of destruction chops their little body in half."

Thats what it said on the bottle of nit shampoo that I bought, anyway.[/quote]

It's worth noting that the gorgeous Mrs chickenpunk was unable to come up with many kind words about our children for a few days after this, nor indeed about their 'disgusting pikey friends' who had, in her estimation, unleashed the infestation upon them. There are some advantages to being slap-headed. :D

**Cutaway** · 05-04-2005, 15:27

Apr 1985
Sat night - In S'pore drinking cold Tigers.
Watch young offr waltz off with local 'bint' despite warnings.
Watch young offr return shamefaced five mins later (and spend rest of night washing his hands at quarterly intervals.)
End up at 'Happy House' knocking shop with two delightful Chinese bints, (who had actually been bints all their lives,) and re-learning the mysteries on the Orient.

Sun morning - Discover once again mystery of the Orient means watch, wallet & bints had evaporated like morning dew before the Eastern sun.
Find oppos at the Brit Club on Beach Road, get banjoed again.

Apr 2005
Sat night - Indoors drinking cold beers.
Watch endless re-runs of old Brit sitcoms on BBC Prime.
Watch more endless re.runs of old Brit sitcoms on BBC Prime.
End up having a battle wnak and damaging eqpt.

Sun morning - Discover once again that full-contact wnaking still means eqpt needs two FFDs, a week's stand-down or backloading for rep.
Find pissed oppo on doorstep looking for his house, open beers & get banjoed again.

**Moodybitch** · 05-04-2005, 16:18

April 1997 -

Working for easy money in telecoms heyday
Sharing house with 3 females mates
Partying non stop
Tight arse, firm breasts and no wrinkles

April 2005-

Working far too many hours in Media Sales
Sharing house with young child and old bloke
Doing housework non stop
Changing nappies (child) and changing swamped mattresses (bloke)
Saggy arse, breasts swinging by the knees and face like a pug dog

Frightening thought, I haven't even hit thirty yet