Useful

**Monty417** · 30-11-2009, 21:44

Originally Posted by bejeepers

Santa,

please may I have a new car and could you also sprinkle some fairy dust over my bank manager and ask him to ignore my overdraft, cheers

bj

Reasonable choice..a pinky dinky is yours and the seven dwarves will sprinkle dwarf fat over your banker.

CQMS. You do insist on sneaking a look into my shower don't you. I'm not selfish, go on dip yer bread.

**Hawk7814** · 30-11-2009, 22:13

Originally Posted by Monty417

Santa said. Hawk, can do the WD40, but unfortunately the other two won't be available until the year 2120. But on the plus side, you've been entered for the Skeleton Bobsleigh in the 2014 Winter Olympics. Go man.
PS. Can you stop your monkey from wanking all the time

'ing great - I have a squeak you wouldn't believe!!! Ahem... As for the monkey - he's his own boss I'm afraid, he doesn't listen to me!

**Gremlin** · 01-12-2009, 03:53

Santa, can I refer you to the following please?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEe55NxFSSU

**BarkingSpider** · 01-12-2009, 09:58

Originally Posted by Gremlin

Santa, can I refer you to the following please?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEe55NxFSSU

Why is it being sung by Peter Sutcliffe? :D

**dragknuckle** · 01-12-2009, 11:41

Originally Posted by Gremlin

Santa, can I refer you to the following please?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEe55NxFSSU

I seem to remember that being sung last year, I can't remember By who though :D

**BANDSMAN69** · 01-12-2009, 13:12

Dear Santa..to shag the arse of two nice young females that I saw in the gym last night... half my age....still I suppose I can always dream on.

No arguments with me dear old mother...once again that's a fecking dream.

**BarkingSpider** · 01-12-2009, 13:31

Originally Posted by BANDSMAN69

Dear Santa..to shag the arse of two nice young females that I saw in the gym last night... half my age....still I suppose I can always dream on.

If you add their ages together it's not peadophilia. Carry on that man.

**Monty417** · 01-12-2009, 13:57

Originally Posted by Gremlin

Santa, can I refer you to the following please?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEe55NxFSSU

It's only Auscam..he's just a bit miffed because he agreed to swing his missus, as long as he had the pick of the reindeers. I had his missus..she was pathetically grateful of course..but all the reindeers refused him. Sour grapes, he'll never forget and forgive.

**duckula** · 01-12-2009, 14:08

Monty

Can you ask Santa if, this year just for once, he can actually finish the f*ckin mince pie that I put out for him? I know he's in a rush but I am sick of finding mince pies with a bite taken out of them, same goes for the carrot that ungrateful b*stard Rudolph has! He drinks the booze, no dramas there, the pis*ed up old soak but it's starting to get a bit irritating that he feels it's ok to waste food like that. While we're on the subject, any danger of him not slipping on the stairs and smacking his head whilst he quietly tiptoes around the house, unlike last years drunken debacle????

**Monty417** · 01-12-2009, 16:28

Originally Posted by duckula

Monty

Can you ask Santa if, this year just for once, he can actually finish the f*ckin mince pie that I put out for him? I know he's in a rush but I am sick of finding mince pies with a bite taken out of them, same goes for the carrot that ungrateful b*stard Rudolph has! He drinks the booze, no dramas there, the pis*ed up old soak but it's starting to get a bit irritating that he feels it's ok to waste food like that. While we're on the subject, any danger of him not slipping on the stairs and smacking his head whilst he quietly tiptoes around the house, unlike last years drunken debacle????

Santa said. Hi Dickula, have tried to eat those old mince pies, but quite frankly the pastry is..shi, er, chewy. The last time, I was still trying to swallow it 12000 feckin' miles on, had to gob it out over Auscam's dog..he ate it though, feckin' dingo. Rudolph said to explain that he's not a bleedin' H.o.r.s.e, he's a Reindeer..a..R.e.i.n.d.e.e.r. As such, he wouldn't mind the carrot plants, you know, the bits you pull them out of the ground with and then throw away, or even a bit of hay at a pinch. Maybe your half eaten Christmas Poinsettia should have given you a clue.

The drink is usually very welcome, but he'll skip the QC sherry this year though, thanks.
PS. Rudolph said sorry about the noise last year, he was a bit pissed and had a coupla mates with him.