Thread: Ironic Recruitment Limited

Hi, we're Ironic Recruitment Ltd, and we're inviting your adverts to find the best staff for your operation. Ironic by name and ironic by nature.

As it happens, we've a few vacancies we'd like to advertise.

*****FILLING STATION LAVATORY ATTENDANT*****

"This position is an exciting and rewarding opportunity
for the right person. We are an equal opportunities
employer. The ideal candidate will be typical of all
Toilet attendants up and down the country. For a start,
you'll need to clean the toilets at busy periods, ensuring
that busting, dribbling drivers who haven't been for hours,
will patiently wait for half an hour behind your yellow cone.

You'll need your wits to phone the Old Bill for flashers and
widdlers forced to go on the grass, because you said no.

Mopping skills are vital, there'll be plenty to mop up on the
Shop floor. If you have vital people management skills, are
not afraid to say "no you can't go now" , and can comfortably
argue with every customer in a packed Shop in front of a locked
lav, please don't hesitate to apply. You might piss it. "

I'm starting resettlement shortly, sounds good, I'm yer man, please remove advert.

You taking the urine mate?