Thread: Topping a civil servant

Now as nu Labour starts to fall it will soon be a night of the long knives or... .22 long round into various necks.
What methods are favoured out there for removing 'redundant' C,B,D,E grade Civil Servant socialist clowns? Apart from cheese wire, white phos grenades etc.
The more subtle the better.

Air conditioning "malfunction" involving nerve gas.

Its obvious it was an accident, and i wasn't wearing an S10 stood next to the ventilation system opening with several cans of gas. Honest.

You could always cover them in Hundred and Thousands, Raspberry sauce, chocolate sauce and add a cadburys flake.
The Police say it happened to our once local ice cream man.







He topped himself

Garrotted with red tape.

I believe the traditional method is a walk in the woods followed by a "suicide"...










....Allegedly.

Originally Posted by menacingboots

Now as nu Labour starts to fall it will soon be a night of the long knives or... .22 long round into various necks.
What methods are favoured out there for removing 'redundant' C,B,D,E grade Civil Servant socialist clowns? Apart from cheese wire, white phos grenades etc.
The more subtle the better.

I take it this means all former servicemen that are CS!!

Random selection - the fairest way.

Poison a couple of random water coolers/coffee machines on each floor... should hopefully be subtle enough, and can be blamed on it not being eco-friendly or something equally bureaucratic.

Poetic justice?

GMLRS? no...sorry..erm

Remember the old halon fire extinguishers? Great in a confined space.......

Well I was considering the old opening the tin of compo sossies with an old opener, removing the middle one and using the rest for physical relief in front of the victim, then making the CS eat them before cutting his throat with the jagged edge of the tin.

But I think slipping a (fake) notice into the system that their pay is being slashed, or like the TA there are five months without pay, then one should hear the gasps of heart attacks and heads hitting the table at a fair number of offices. We should be able to get rid of quite a few that way.

Broken pool cue between three - team tryouts a la Batman. Winner gets to keep his/her job.

The Head of the Pakistani Inter Services Intelligence station in New Delhi died of electrocution whilst "dying their hair".

shoot a video of one of them being beheaded, Taliban style, you'll get a few resignations - use a letter opener for the job

6 months in Hohne should do it.

Yeah yeah yeah, but why not be selective and pick on the overpaid slobs at whitehall? Long time TA, including tours, a shortish time CS where as an E1 I get (much) less than a sh1t lancejack while bursting my balls trying to make sure the lads (TA) dont get sh1t on any more than usual and protect them where I can from some of the more bone ideas the CoC comes up with.

Now the Whitehall fuckwits have screwed us all over I'm probably in the running for redundancy and I can't even use my TA wages to tide me over because the training looks like being sh1tcanned for 6 months....

So yeah, thanks lads, I'm the overpaid b*stard that did all this (NOT), so f*cking top me.... after all, all CS are obviously on the gravy train and laughing at the current cuts... or maybe we're wondering if we'll have a job at all after this and hating the cnuts at the top just like you?

So maybe you should do a virtual recce and pick your targets a little more carefully you're not the only ones eating the sh1t sandwich you know, dry your eyes huh?