ARmy Rumour SErvice

Originally Posted by Litotes

Thank you, kind Sir, for your help. I am much taken with the idea that one could have an :existentialist: smiley (surely a contradiction in terms?) but the icon seems to be the most suitable for me at the moment.

I am, Sir, your grateful servant etc etc

Litotes

Happy to be of service.

Correspondents BNO and HHH offer an abundance of sage and informed advice, to which I humbly defer (and will likely myself refer). Good Luck. You have evidently begun your journey; may I offer as encouragement the words of a man of leadership, Ho Chi Minh, noted admittedly less for his use of smilies than for his determination:

"[...]by reading them again and again finally I was able to grasp the essential part. What emotion, enthusiasm, enlightenment and confidence they communicated to me! I wept for joy."

I love a happy ending.

Incidentally, : + frustrating + : = :frustrating:, while : + frustrated + : = . Once more for fluency, please...

To remain in keeping with the focus of this thread, I compile this post in my 'summerhouse' - I trust this satisfies the requisite criterion?

*Before I (finally) take my leave, I must ask: Why would one named "Litotes" need or be able to use smilies anyway? Doesn't add up, to me... I look forward to your using said devices in the spirit of your handle...*

Aye

Litotes, I beg of you not to follow this slippery path. The English language is a beautiful and flowery thing developed over many centuries by our forefathers and foremothers (that's just for the PCers).
There is no need to consider crude symbols suitable for those aged three and thereabouts while words exist and your command of such is that I have managed to understand your entries.
Drawings are for the lower races (the French had to have a tapestry drawn to find out what had happened, didn't they?) and such as the septics whose young can neither read or write (hang on, in UK... oh well, delete that bit before I post.)
If you get involved in all this technical mumbo-jumbo there will be those who demand you gain some form of "ology". That will quickly be followed for the requirement of an NV-summat and then, before you know where you are, those who would confound all of us will specify some form of ISO you must obtain by submitting to three monthly paper trail audits. Then before you know where you are you might even be required to read instruction manuals!!
This is the way of the Soviet EU and look what happened to poor Taff49 who was seduced into acquiring some Euro alu-whotsit construction.
No, stay on the true narrow path of the written word and remember - it is of no real use trying to learn all these new things because every time you learn something new, it pushes out something else you have learned previously. After all, there is only so much room in the brain.
Again, I urge you to ignore those who would entice you with pretty baubles and cyber language commands. Remember you are of the shedii and use these machines only to converse with others of similar ilk.

SH*DS!! SH*DS!! SH*EDS!!! This fred is about SH*EDS. Not geeky IT wallahs or wannabe big thingied cooks. You know, the bint with the big wossnames, Nigel something, her with the big thingies. Eyes, thats the word I was looking for. Nobody in their right mind talks about scabby furrin plonk that you've got to strain frogs toenails out of, and who wants to hear about "dribbling" HP, or Daddies on a bit of roadkill? I believe there is a fred extant for wierdos. Go find it.
To get back on track. Taff, I found what must have been a "colonial" valve, filed the thread orf it, and brazed it in.
Wanted: 100/90X19 innertube with no burn holes. Can swap for some melted down lead soldiers.

Originally Posted by revmodes

For complete security, privacy and a sense of well being i have said it before, you need to build another sh*d OVER AND AROUND the original Sh*d. only then will you have the ambience required to continue in the pursuits of the sheddie, enough of these fangled recipes, go back to tradition and ancient custom:: eel skinning, squirrell stew and the every now and again "all in the pot" marinated for 13 days in the secret brew, i sense modernism creeping in with a touch of "who Cares" may be.

Problems with text, semi colons and the queens diction of the tongue, should have no place amongs't the brotherhood, get ye gone to MSR and such like folk of techno leanings. Think on sheddie, from little acorns of mission creep, big oak trees grow, whilst we witter on irrelevant itineries our sh*ds fall into disrepair, screws become loose, holes in roofs become larger, eels slither away unnoticed, armegeddon lurks just over the horizon, vigilance is the key, far too many insurgents have weedled their way into the brotherhood, users of silicone sealants, metal attachments and the allowance of all and sundry within the sh*d perimeter standards are beginning to slip! A curse upon the advocates of on-line cookery tips and diy non wood fixes for simple sheddie problems. stand strong, resist temptation or be absorbed by the drones from B&Q.

I humbly apologise for having stepped upon the hallowed floors of your wooden constructed building.
I am not a owner of such a construction, and did not know the rules and regulations of the brotherhood (and sisterhood BNO ). I have now read all the thread am aware of them now.
So once again I apologise for my ignorance and I did not mean any disrespect to the mighty Shedii by my actions.Please pass on my reply to all your brothers and sister in the Shedii (especially your Chief Shedii The Duke) as I do not want them to put a curse on me, or hunt me down and use your vermin eradicating techniques on me.
I shall now leave this hallowed ground and go and whip myself with some lettuce leaves in penance.

Yours,
HHH

Originally Posted by ancienturion

Litotes, I beg of you not to follow this slippery path. The English language is a beautiful and flowery thing developed over many centuries by our forefathers and foremothers (that's just for the PCers).
There is no need to consider crude symbols suitable for those aged three and thereabouts while words exist and your command of such is that I have managed to understand your entries.
Drawings are for the lower races (the French had to have a tapestry drawn to find out what had happened, didn't they?) and such as the septics whose young can neither read or write (hang on, in UK... oh well, delete that bit before I post.)
If you get involved in all this technical mumbo-jumbo there will be those who demand you gain some form of "ology". That will quickly be followed for the requirement of an NV-summat and then, before you know where you are, those who would confound all of us will specify some form of ISO you must obtain by submitting to three monthly paper trail audits. Then before you know where you are you might even be required to read instruction manuals!!
This is the way of the Soviet EU and look what happened to poor Taff49 who was seduced into acquiring some Euro alu-whotsit construction.
No, stay on the true narrow path of the written word and remember - it is of no real use trying to learn all these new things because every time you learn something new, it pushes out something else you have learned previously. After all, there is only so much room in the brain.
Again, I urge you to ignore those who would entice you with pretty baubles and cyber language commands. Remember you are of the shedii and use these machines only to converse with others of similar ilk.

Hello Caller; this is the 'Dark Side' thing, revisited, isn't it? Although it's not clear which side of the profound divide you represent. More purity if you please; feel free to underpin and emphasise with smilies as necessary. You know you want to.

Originally Posted by cent05zr70

SH*DS!! SH*DS!! SH*EDS!!! This fred is about SH*EDS. Not geeky IT wallahs or wannabe big thingied cooks. You know, the bint with the big wossnames, Nigel something, her with the big thingies. Eyes, thats the word I was looking for. Nobody in their right mind talks about scabby furrin plonk that you've got to strain frogs toenails out of, and who wants to hear about "dribbling" HP, or Daddies on a bit of roadkill? I believe there is a fred extant for wierdos. Go find it.
To get back on track. Taff, I found what must have been a "colonial" valve, filed the thread orf it, and brazed it in.
Wanted: 100/90X19 innertube with no burn holes. Can swap for some melted down lead soldiers.

You must admit she is rather scrummy though. And quite brazen.

What!! You telling me she's a brass?

Originally Posted by cent05zr70

What!! You telling me she's a brass?

Mebbe; she's quite mucky, tha knows...

Originally Posted by Litotes

I was watching bumble bees swarm around a nest in one of my compost heaps. I have never seen a bumble bee swarm until today. Fascinating.

Litotes

What have we said about stalking me Lits? We have said it is not right and proper. Havent we?

Jesus. Well, the cat is out the bag, so...

Yesterday I was clearing up outside the sh*d, and took to whacking the doormat against a post a few feet away. When I was surrounded by small buzzing insects. Being a coward, I ran away. Then crept back to see a wasps nest on the wall, not four feet from the door of my innocent garden structure.

My first thought was to reach for Wasp-Knacker (TM) which has done wasps nests around the place in the past. But then I started watching them. Buzzing in. And out. Not really harming me. So I feel we might live together. They dont harm me. I dont harm them.

Does this make me a puff?

And the bloke up on the lane in the long black coat. With some sort of goggles on and what looked like a piece of angle iron stuck up the back of his coat.... It didnt half look like Lits, but dressed funny. Should I be worried?