Originally Posted by Punch

A red Squirrel in your garden! Lucky you, your own little personal Whipsnade. A few moles would really set it off, I can send you some.

Cheers but we're OK for moles. Five years ago I dug them all up and hoyed them one by one over the river to go on to a better life in the vicars garden.

And we're OK for red squirrels. I wish we were not. Lord Reidsdale is on some sort of a mission to protect the hairy little fuckers. He's got twats from the University and journalists from the Guardian and all sorts of tree hugging scumbags tramping about the place asking questions.

I am more concerned to know how it comes to be that a Welshman discovers 8,000,000 mummified dogs in the desert of Egypt. That cannot be a coincidence I feel?

Care to comment Taff?

Originally Posted by Kirkz

How much are the Moles Punch? I'm thinking of excavating a tunnel from my shed to the local hostelry And a well trained Mole could be just the job for a pilot hole

You can have all you need for free. Be aware however that in no circumstances are they returnable!


I think it's only right to warn you that moles generally tunnel in a circle. I have this mental picture of you popping up in your own shed and demanding a pint for you and a half for that other daft bugger coming along behind you who spends so much time in holes that he must be turning into a mole.

Originally Posted by Punch

You can have all you need for free. Be aware however that in no circumstances are they returnable!


I think it's only right to warn you that moles generally tunnel in a circle. I have this mental picture of you popping up in your own shed and demanding a pint for you and a half for that other daft bugger coming along behind you who spends so much time in holes that he must be turning into a mole.

That might work, if I can train them to dig tunnel of sufficient circumference to reach the Ferkin & Forager and back to the shed

Originally Posted by cent05zr70

Pilot 'ole? You're in a hurry Kirkz. I suppose it will be rocket rather than fixed wing thingy.

I was hoping to go with a Catherine wheel as apparently Moles dig in circles Who'd of thunk it

Originally Posted by Kirkz

That might work, if I can train them to dig tunnel of sufficient circumference to reach the Ferkin & Forager and back to the shed

Train moles! If you get that close to them skin them and make a pair of trousers! It's the only way they become more environmentally acceptable than pikeys. (I'm sure there is a purpose to the existence of moles and pikeys - however that purpose completely eludes me).

Think of all those poor little earthworms toiling away to make your garden fertile suddenly meeting a mole on a beautiful Autumn day. Think of all the little orphan earthworms so suddenly left destitute. Bloody vandals!

Think Mole singular, not Moles plural. He/She, is very territorial and will fight to the death to keep another mole away. One mole can make yer lawn look like it has erupted overnight. At the most you'll only get two per acre and females will attack the male too after she has allowed him to sneak in and mate. She'll also drive any offspring away when a few weks old..so friends an infestation of moles amounts to maybe two per acre on farmland and less in suburban areas. Best to live with the little bugger, because if you manage to kill it, another will immediately move into and occupy the vacant tunnels..a bit like revmodes really.

Originally Posted by TheIronDuke

I am more concerned to know how it comes to be that a Welshman discovers 8,000,000 mummified dogs in the desert of Egypt. That cannot be a coincidence I feel?

Care to comment Taff?

Let us remember the Welsh are merely Irish who could not swim and are therefore capable of both the improbable and the ridiculous.

Originally Posted by Monty417

"and females will attack the male too after she has allowed him to sneak in and mate". Quote Monty417

So they do have some human characteristics?




a bit like revmodes really.

I don't suppose Revmodes is going to share his post-coital experiences with us?

Originally Posted by Punch

I don't suppose Revmodes is going to share his post-coital experiences with us?

Such is life..

I have been on a mole elimination using unhumane means course, it was many years ago but i kept all of the training manuals and still receive the annual newsletter, the most commonly used method was dynamite until the RSPCtoMoles
kicked up a stink.
Various methods have been tried of course ranging from ultra sonics, remote controlled underground laser cannons and arsenic, but the best method we ( the tunnelers eastern shediie brigade) have found is to dig a pit approx 8 foot deep x 4 foot across, insert a drainpipe as a breathing/comms tube, put digger or the johnny ghurka with his wheelchair in the pit ,prop the sides, backfill and they sit their quietly in the dark playing cliff richards songs underground( moles love cliff) then twat the br*stwards with a lump hammer.

Been hard at work getting ready for the move up the coast, decided to dismantle the shed and rebuild at the new place,
the still has been packed,just got a few pints of last years brew to see off befere it turns that funny greeny/yellowy curdled colour, must be the turps i think i got the mix with the potato peelings wrong, but it's good mixed with a tot of jamesons. A mate has sent me the attached pic's of the latest drinks craze sweeping through the druid and ninja walt communities in Humbria, got the recipe for the addition of fermenting liquids, so once the still is rebuilt i will give it a go!