Useful

**Biscuits_AB** · 02-09-2009, 15:27

Originally Posted by Auld-Yin

Originally Posted by cpunk

Queen's birthday parade, Horse Guards, 1955, absolute God's honest truth. Marvellous character in my battalion... chunter chunter... Queen says 'have you come far?', he responds, 'Fuck off you German trout'.

Wonderful... loads of extras... kids today...

Yawn.

What a boring turd you are becoming (have become !)

Why not just give yourself an OT tag and feck off.

Got the 'heebie-jeebies' there jock? Go one, have a drink.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/player/bb_rm_ms_44533540

**Auld-Yin** · 02-09-2009, 15:45

Originally Posted by Biscuits_AB

Originally Posted by Auld-Yin

Originally Posted by cpunk

Queen's birthday parade, Horse Guards, 1955, absolute God's honest truth. Marvellous character in my battalion... chunter chunter... Queen says 'have you come far?', he responds, 'Fuck off you German trout'.

Wonderful... loads of extras... kids today...

Yawn.

What a boring turd you are becoming (have become !)

Why not just give yourself an OT tag and feck off.

Got the 'heebie-jeebies' there jock? Go one, have a drink.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/player/bb_rm_ms_44533540

You know me Biccies - pure as the driven snow, no need to drink to come on here :D The player did not work on my PC but I do like Jack & Victor, reminds me of the RBL for some reason

**Lance_corp_more_rant** · 02-09-2009, 16:25

Horse guards had just had some guys demobbed for drugs abuse in the early eighties.
L/cpl "Happy" G**** had been seconded from 16/5L to be the Horseguards CO's driver.
L/cpl G**** is a little heavy with the boot and is going a tad too fast. The CO says "Cpl G**** slow down"
Happy ignores command, as he always did when rank referred to, he preffered to be called Happy.
CO remarks "Cpl grant slow down please!"
Happy still ignores.
CO eventually says "Happy speed!
To which Happy says "Not now sir, I'm driving!"
One red faced CO later, cue posting back to 16/5L

**duffdike** · 02-09-2009, 16:29

Staff Officer to Soldier: And how do you find the meat in Hong Kong?

Incredulous Soldier: Well Sir, I looked under my chips and surprise surprise. There it was !

**Fallschirmjager** · 02-09-2009, 17:08

Liar

**Auld-Yin** · 02-09-2009, 17:26

Originally Posted by Fallschirmjager

Liar

Which one :D

**NVG_Goatman** · 02-09-2009, 17:28

Overheard at midnight in catterick. A TA platoon, with Reg DS are in a triangular harbour. The Platoon Comander (A oft-angry essex wideboi) is cutting open glowsticks to dab some of the glowy stuff on a tree near his basha. It goes awry, and his face starts glowing green. Much to the amusement of a transferee with many years experience elsewhere.

"What you laughing at?"
"You sir, you look like a twat."

**greenbaggyskin** · 02-09-2009, 17:30

I think I must have forgotten some;

Sergeant tech to young GWA Cpl Robbo, "Cpl Robinson, are you enjoying using my tools?", Robbo without missing a beat, "Yes Sarge, I thought it was about time they got used properly."

Strangely the same Sgt tech to me while I was on a driving course and wearing a woollie pully during shirt sleeve order season, "Cpl Baggy are you cold?". At this point I delved into my memory and dragged up an old one someone had told me once, "No sarge, I've got my jumper on." Sgt exits stage left muttering "I'll get you, you little Fcuker." Never did though and fast forward 7 years, I was his FofS and he was my staffy tech. He really couldn't handle that but completely deserved the ignomy. Great days.

Robbo from earlier during OC Sqn's block inspection (thinly disguised as hygiene check) with top class SSM. OC looks at Robbo's boots in his locker and says, "These aren't very shiny Cpl Robinson!". Robbo retorts, "I'm sorry sir I didn't know this was a bullshit inspection!" "Sarn't Major, Cpl Robinson tells me he didn't know this was a bullshit inspection." SSM Charlie M, "Nor did I sir!" Priceless!

There are too many to carry on.

Baggy

**duffdike** · 02-09-2009, 17:57

Originally Posted by Fallschirmjager

Liar

Tell the truth. Do you fancy me ? ;)

**kabulronin** · 02-09-2009, 18:14

On a "Rocking Horse" in Berlin at about 03.00 hrs one morning the CO inspected our Company and said to Pte "Mad" Bill K, "Pte K, you haven't shaved." (Obviously you had to be clean shaven to face the Soviet hoard pouring over the Berlin Wall) And Mad Bill replied "No."

The CO crossly snapped, "No what?"

To which Mad Bill, who was so drunk he could hardly stand said "No razorblades."

I don't recall if he was marched away or not.