Useful

**Mag_to_grid** · 12-08-2009, 23:01

Any protein or weight gain drink plus a meal full of Garlic then followed by a few beers is bound to produce farts exceedingly worse than anything Sadamm ever used against the Kurds. Mussels in in white sauce followed by beer usually works well too.

**uncle_vanya** · 12-08-2009, 23:09

Yus.... a small tin of cold baked beans, followed by 6 Pickled Eggs, followed by 6 large Pickled Onions all washed down with a tumbler of cheap 'DesRoches' cooking brandy....... Not only will it bring tears to your eyes, make one sick.... but its more than likely to leave a large slimey lump in one undercrakers....

Definatey guaranteed some sort of reaction from the Good Ladies at the mess Do..... Mind you, it won't impress the Mess President very much.....

"Brechen Sie Wind von meinem hinteren stinkenden Gestank des schlechten Atems..... Meine RÃ¼ckseite, die benutzt wird, glaubt, wie sie durch mit einer DrahtbÃ¼rste gezogen worden ist...... !" WTF.....

(fec know what this means, just ran some English words through 'Bablfish' translation sofware......

.. sounds good... ehhehe

**Markintime** · 12-08-2009, 23:11

There's nothing better on Christmas Day evening than the subtle aroma of sprouty farts! Mmmmm it just makes Christmas for me!

**joey_deacons_lad** · 13-08-2009, 01:09

Chicken rogan josh followed by newcy brown will give hours of fun watching people blame eachother for you farts

**Closet_Jibber** · 13-08-2009, 01:16

Guinnes with a side order of Boiled eggs was my thing before I started seeing eggs as the devil who set fire to my ring.

**Tommo5050** · 13-08-2009, 01:22

On a Military theme, 10 man ration pack ghoulish used to ensure anyone who took over from me in the top Sangar in lackybridge were in for an unwelcome odour when starting their 2 hour stint.. heh.

**unitpw** · 13-08-2009, 01:44

Is it me? Not bragging, but I never needed any dietary supplements to clear a room, though some of the above mentioned did add enough spice to speed up the rate of exit!!

**DavidBOC** · 13-08-2009, 02:34

A couple of years ago I had a fire service Captain seconded (assigned) to my office for planning duties. His eating was on a large scale. I was always concerned that he would throw out his back carrying his lunch. He also produced enough gas to contribute to global warming. Sometimes he would arrive back from his lunchtime foraging expeditions with a LARGE order of knockwurst, sauerkraut and a large side order of baked beans. Always a bad sign for the afernoon. Once so bad I put on a M40 mask, went over, picked up his walkie on the FD channel and ordered a Level 2 HAZMAT response. It took him a minute to realize that I had not keyed the mike.

He retired last year and is now doing his best to decimate the striped bass and bluefish population of New England but the memories have lingered even longer than the gas.

**kyleq101** · 13-08-2009, 03:04

gotta be a whopper fries and a milk shake. give it a couple of hours and the smell that comes out of your body could be weaponized.
careful though, gas might not be the only thing coming out if youre not careful

**Mugatu2** · 13-08-2009, 08:14

There's no secret to this really, to produce methane with a stink to it, you need 2 things: Vegetation (for volume of gas) and protein (for stench), the more heavily processed and broken down the better. Hence anything like cabbage or sprouts, boiled up for too long, mixed with any cooked or processed meats will make a good "mash" which is rotting down long before it reaches the small intestine.
I'd suggest some greens, maybe spinach, broccoli and cabbage. And at least 3 bags of chicken tikka flavoured "fridge raiders" washed down with any real ale.