Useful

**Markintime** · 22-07-2009, 17:56

Get a railway sleeper and drill about a 3" hole in the sleeper, line the hole with tripe and shag the hole. It's incredibly lifelike (well if you've ever shagged my ex misses it is

)

**Gren** · 22-07-2009, 17:58

Originally Posted by Markintime

Get a railway sleeper and drill about a 3" hole in the sleeper, line the hole with tripe and shag the hole. It's incredibly lifelike (well if you've ever shagged my ex misses it is

)

5" hole and I would agree ;)

**eye_spy** · 22-07-2009, 18:07

There is always the old REME favourite of a right angled torch and a healthy helping of swarfega!

**VMechA** · 22-07-2009, 18:11

Originally Posted by jarrod248

I think you may benefit from a prostate stimulator. I understand they are excellent although I don't have one myself. As for canine penile oral stimulation you could cover your old chap in Marmite or Bovril however. your man's best friend might get too carried away.

Is that a prostate or stimulator you are bereft of?

**Gremlin** · 22-07-2009, 18:20

Originally Posted by Gren

Failing that, get off the internet and find a woman, you sad wnaker

So you missed the part where he said that he was married then?

Why else do you think Mrs Palm and her five daughters are demanding a holiday, or at the very least respite care?

**GUNGA** · 22-07-2009, 18:25

Originally Posted by eye_spy

There is always the old REME favourite of a right angled torch and a healthy helping of swarfega!

NO! that takes the skin off your helmet - don't do this!

**squeekingsapper** · 22-07-2009, 18:26

Originally Posted by Gren

Originally Posted by Markintime

Get a railway sleeper and drill about a 3" hole in the sleeper, line the hole with tripe and shag the hole. It's incredibly lifelike (well if you've ever shagged my ex misses it is

)

5cm hole and I would agree ;)

MIT did say it was similar to his ex missus and until I stretched her out a bit, he probably isn't far wrong.

**Gren** · 22-07-2009, 18:27

Originally Posted by Gremlin

Originally Posted by Gren

Failing that, get off the internet and find a woman, you sad wnaker

So you missed the part where he said that he was married then?

Why else do you think Mrs Palm and her five daughters are demanding a holiday, or at the very least respite care?

I didnt miss, it, I merely didnt bother reading the whole thread, I see the word "wank" and assume. ;)

And being married is no guarantee of requirement.

**Bedfordrl** · 22-07-2009, 18:40

I only joined this site today and was browsing the top 50 posts with the missus looking over my shoulder and wondered what w@nk aid was.

It is either naivety or stupidity or senility but

My flabber has never been more gasted!!!!.

**Markintime** · 22-07-2009, 19:57

Originally Posted by Gren

Originally Posted by Markintime

Get a railway sleeper and drill about a 3" hole in the sleeper, line the hole with tripe and shag the hole. It's incredibly lifelike (well if you've ever shagged my ex misses it is

)

5" hole and I would agree ;)

Maybe you're right, maybe it just seemed tighter to me ;)