Useful

**Markintime** · 17-07-2009, 08:01

Little (sic) Markin used to drink,
Alas he'll drink no more,
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4

I thang yew

**chinooksdad** · 17-07-2009, 08:02

MarkinTime,

Are you trying to say that I live in some chav infested sinkhole? That my neighbours are of the criminal persausion?

Truth be known, I'm pretty new here and I'm starting to work it out for myself

Still, on the plus side, with a brothel next door one never has to drive anywhere to get laid.

**Markintime** · 17-07-2009, 08:10

I quite like this uncredited one:

Here lies
an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

**whiffler** · 17-07-2009, 08:11

Farewell to the Gloucesters, the Leicesters, and the Cheshires
Sleep Caerphilly

RIP

They don't come much cheesier than that

**mistersoft** · 17-07-2009, 08:14

Somebody posted a picture of a touching (and genuine) floral tribute on here a few years ago:

Beautifully done in red and white flowers, the words 'My Little Angle' still brings me to tears.

**Markintime** · 17-07-2009, 08:15

Originally Posted by mistersoft

Somebody posted a picture of a touching (and genuine) floral tribute on here a few years ago:

Beautifully done in red and white flowers, the words 'My Little Angle' still brings me to tears.

Ah yes, little Chardonnay, sadly missed.

**CivvyLurker** · 17-07-2009, 08:16

May I submit for consideration a haiku based on a theme by The_Coming_Man, as inspired by Pte Baldrick, which, as is traditional in haiku stuff, reflects a deeply felt moment of human experience? I call it 'Demise'.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! SPLAT! OWW! THUD!

**SamS** · 17-07-2009, 08:17

Originally Posted by Markintime

Little (sic) Markin used to drink,
Alas he'll drink no more,
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4

I thang yew

LOL :D

**Krek_Brizzle** · 17-07-2009, 08:20

Originally Posted by chinooksdad

Just down the road from where I live in Gosport there was a double stabbing, two men dead and all very tragic. BOO..HOO.

It has since transpired that they were both major league drug-dealers, that it was a deal gone south and as a result they both got the good news and went to the great crack factory in the sky.

GREAT thinks I, two less of the blood sucking leeches to prey on our kids. NO!!!! Think the good residents of Gosport as they lay a flower and teddy-bear memorial that stops the traffic and would have Princess Di spinning on her fcuking island.

Lets get this into proportion you tossers!! It's not a repatriation at WB....itt's two lowlifes killing each other other a wrap of H. Now lets get on with some proper policeing down here, fcuker down the end of the road has no tax on his car.......

Dreading the funeral....I'd put the fckers in a wheelie bin.

Something similar happenned round my way a few years back:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/1834163.stm

Two drug dealers shot by a third, who was arrested within hours. Good news, right? But pretty soon the road was stacked with floral tributes to 'beautiful Errol'.

Edited for typo.

**auscam** · 17-07-2009, 08:25

Originally Posted by reni_77

Originally Posted by auscam

Originally Posted by reni_77

Originally Posted by Markintime

Here lies poor Reni
He was full of life
Now he hasn't any
(anonymous)

Sorry, I made that up because I'm a tw@

Are you on the pop at 8:38 am ? :D

I stood by your grave as the lowered you slowly,

sobbing my heart out over the tenner you owed me .. :(

That doesn't rhyme. Drongo

What flowers would you like hurled at your hearse? Gladioli? Taped to a brick, perhaps?

Course it rhymes you sperm ! It is a classical piece of West Yorkshire poetry !

F*ck flowers, just sling rolled up balls of tissue soaked in Pussers Rum ta

I would take the p*ss out of the West Yorkshire accent, but I don't know what one sounds like

That'll teach me...I'll slink off now