The unwritten rules...

**3rdStafford** · 01-07-2009, 02:54

At the request of puttiesinmyhands, this is a thread to compile the ultimate list of rules that you should know, but are not written down anywhere.

Is this another one of those unwritten rules? Like not wearing socks with sandals? And slouching your socks with trainers?

Unwritten rules. You could fill a book with them.

(And I wish someone would).

So, no socks with sandals, don't slouch your socks with trainers. There's 2, what else?

How about:

Never dance with another bloke
Don't drop the soap
Never pull a finger
Never sniff a finger
Don't insult restaurant staff
Don't tell a mechanic you don't understand cars
If a bird says "I wont get pregant", she effing well will
Fat gits should never wear lycra
Don't cook vegan meals for vegans, they won't cook meat for you
If you have an idea at work, don't tell your supervisor, email the entire department so the little twunt doesn't claim the credit

**putteesinmyhands** · 01-07-2009, 02:59

One post and already we have a dispute. Mrs Puttees says that I MUST slouch my socks with trainers. :(

**SUNRAY_MINOR** · 01-07-2009, 03:21

Never fight naked (except in prison)

**Moahunter** · 01-07-2009, 03:39

Originally Posted by SUNRAY_MINOR

Never fight naked (except in prison)

Feck. I have.....

**pixel** · 01-07-2009, 04:24

Don't test the depth of the water with both feet .

**kyleq101** · 01-07-2009, 05:42

if a monkey steals your kabob, dont chase it down and try and get it back.

**auscam** · 01-07-2009, 05:44

Originally Posted by Donkey-Spanker

At the request of puttiesinmyhands, this is a thread to compile the ultimate list of rules that you should know, but are not written down anywhere.

Is this another one of those unwritten rules? Like not wearing socks with sandals? And slouching your socks with trainers?

Unwritten rules. You could fill a book with them.

(And I wish someone would).

So, no socks with sandals, don't slouch your socks with trainers. There's 2, what else?

How about:

Never dance with another bloke
Don't drop the soap
Never pull a finger
Never sniff a finger
Don't insult restaurant staff
Don't tell a mechanic you don't understand cars
If a bird says "I wont get pregant", she effing well will
Fat gits should never wear lycra
Don't cook vegan meals for vegans, they won't cook meat for you
If you have an idea at work, don't tell your supervisor, email the entire department so the little twunt doesn't claim the credit

Always douche with Coke
Never drive when you're dead
Don't pour water into a tub of caustic soda
Keep your mouth closed when you w*nk

**devexwarrior** · 01-07-2009, 07:14

Always check for bog roll before dropping the keks

**Biped** · 01-07-2009, 07:23

Always check the missus has closed the front door on her way out to the shops before running around the house naked with you c0ck in one hand and her handbag in the other.

**tiger_lily** · 01-07-2009, 07:30

Never fill a diesel car with petrol.
Never drive a diesel car that's been filled with petrol.

Sigh.

**Speedy** · 01-07-2009, 07:34

Never, ever, wear army socks with civvy clothes.

**JRHartley** · 01-07-2009, 07:42

Never eat scampi nik-naks whilst reading a NAAFI thread about Prostitutes.

**maguire** · 01-07-2009, 07:52

Originally Posted by tiger_lily

Never fill a diesel car with petrol.
Never drive a diesel car that's been filled with petrol.

Sigh.

a friend of mine has been banned from driving works hire cars now for doing that four times on the run. you would have though he'd have got the message after the first two, but what the hell.

unwritten rules - never trust a fart (as I had reinforced to me yesterday). :(

never talk to another bloke in the urinals.

**auscam** · 01-07-2009, 08:02

Originally Posted by maguire

Originally Posted by tiger_lily

Never fill a diesel car with petrol.
Never drive a diesel car that's been filled with petrol.

Sigh.

a friend of mine has been banned from driving works hire cars now for doing that four times on the run. you would have though he'd have got the message after the first two, but what the hell.

unwritten rules - never trust a fart (as I had reinforced to me yesterday). :(

never talk to another bloke in the urinals.

Well...what happened? We won't tell. Honest